When faced with misogyny in the headlines teachers and parents always ask:

"How do I talk to the boys in my life about sexual violence?"

You don't. You don't start there. If you want to have an actual conversation that works, it has to begin somewhere else. 🧵 The question really being asked here is "how do I help boys in my life turn away from/reject misogyny?"

Answer: you *frame* and *start* the conversations somewhere new.

Don't start at sexual violence because they know society says it's bad and explaining isn’t that effective.

For years Tate and others have radicalised men/boys into believing masculinity is about control and abuse.

We mock them and they become a 'joke' to us
We denounce them because we're angry

But what we *think* about them doesn't change much, because what they're doing *works* 🧵 I've met teachers who had male students come into classes refusing to learn from 'women' because they 'don't know anything'. Later, Tate's name was mentioned one group of boys who were parroting these sexist lines.

One thing that I lie in bed worrying about is how my previous work on upskirting has been used by those who are intent on excluding trans people and non-binary people from public spaces. I have seen some high profile women using my work as a reason to keep trans women out of women's spaces and I hate it. Often it's not even necessary to use it because they're *actually* referring to voyeurism which is a different act to upskirting, but we won't get into that detail right now.

We aren’t safe walking mins from our home (Sabina Nessa)
We aren’t safe at work (Cathy Marlow)
We aren’t safe even when together (Nicole Smallman, Bibaa Henry)
We aren’t safe online (Alice Ruggles)
We aren’t safe with our own family (Banaz Mahmod) We aren’t safe dating (Grace Millane)
We aren’t safe after reporting to the police 5 times (Shana Grice)
We aren’t safe with our neighbours (Nelly Mustafa)
We aren’t safe at home (Valerie Forde)
We aren’t safe with a police officer (Sarah Everard)

In June The Prime Minister nominated me to Her Majesty The Queen for her Birthday Honours List, and I was asked if I would accept the honour of an OBE.

I was honoured to be asked and considered alongside everyone who accepted, but knew it was not for me.

Please do take a read. I started this work because I wanted to fight for every day people and their rights, and in the last 2yrs, whether through working with charities or discussing issues on Parliamentary panels, I've sat next to and learnt from some of the greats of Civil Rights.

How it started: How it ended: ✅ Use The Voyeurism Act if anyone 'operates camera/video equiptment beneath your clothes to capture parts of your body that would otherwise be covered by clothing'
✅ Report upskirting if it happens to you
✅ Engage people around you: get witnesses, note location and time

(thread) Please do not use the upskirting law, a law I tirelessly fought to create that protects all genders, as fodder for an anti-trans narrative.
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8… Voyeurism and the upskirting law was used here whilst putting across a case that M&S allowing trans or non-binary people to use changing rooms for which they identify is dangerous for women. The law was quoted as 'calling this in to question'.