not sure how, but the shitty, simplified understanding of insurance i picked up from a Pratchett novel at like 13 holds up a lot better than most college grads':

you bet that [catastrophe you cant afford] WILL happen to you, insurance bets it WONT whenever i catch myself thinking things like "what do you MEAN you cant buy flood insurance in [place that floods routinely]?" i just remember that bit about inn-sewer-ants in the Colour of Magic

if ur betting on an event w high odds of happening, why would anyone bet against u?

when i was mildly anti-trump it was really weird to watch conservatives go from hating the guy to loving him. felt like watching them become pod people

but now that i'm mildly pro-trump i think i get it

1/ i figured it was like, "well he's winning now we gotta get on board" or some kinda social pressure, frog boiling?

i didnt bother to ask anyone bc i was trying to maintain blissful ignorance of politics

2/

what if the red flag goes both ways

https://twitter.com/quotidiania/status/1839875943982100731

for those of u who havent seen Scott Pilgrim, Scott is in fact a total ass

actually i think a lot of my cohort could stand to (re)watch it, feels instructive

2010 is right about the last time a movie like this could've been made and that's kind of the problem

ok i went from 0 knowledge of haiti to hearing claims that were so insane that they sounded made up, but also... too insane to make up??

so i figured "ok probably there's a grain of truth in this but a lot of spin"

and uh

oh no

https://twitter.com/jeremykauffman/status/1833951904063455687

also this is nuts but makes a lot of sense 😭

https://x.com/cremieuxrecueil/status/1833954372222353546?s=46

ok so a lot of us nerds finally realized that "blonde popular kids" are often, contrary to media depictions, completely fine and we were unnecessarily hostile to them

i'm increasingly feeling this way about rich people media consistently depicts them as being really MEAN but actually not being crushed under a scarcity mindset and enjoying how u spend ur time and being surrounded by other relaxed ppl who enjoy how they spend their time

doesnt magically make people more hostile

shower thoughts about the major aspects of a flourishing social life

you dont need a good score in each skill but you do need a good score in both categories i think

HOW U MEET PPL (want a better term 4 this)
- initiation
- attraction

DISCERNMENT
- preferences
- boundaries there might be something here too with consistency vs. intensity

Jane Austen has a great bit in Emma where she demonstrates the importance of polite fictions

there's this character called Miss Bates who was born into wealth and class but is now a poor spinster who relies on the kindness of others the thing about Miss Bates is that she won't shut up. she's incredibly annoying. everyone knows it. but everyone also knows that she's a kind soul in a pitiful situation, and that they're far better off than she is, and so they tolerate her incessant chatter

before/after professional seasonal color analysis:

left is my old makeup + favorite shirt, right is new stuff

i grabbed not quite the right lip color for right, apparently this is bright winter and i'm a true winter, but the improvement feels huge already 🧵

the consultant i saw was Lena (@asglidden 's wife!), who runs Kigo Color & Style in the Bay Area

unfortunately doing it remotely doesn't work as color is reaaally finicky. exhibit A: all these notes!!

her site: kigocolor.com

thinkin about the guys i know get a lot of dates or have done well romantically despite unfavorable gender ratios

surely a lot of selection bias but coming across as generally cheerful and friendly seems to be a major thing happening really i think it's more of a "men need ONE OF these things situation," where "these things" are being

- strikingly attractive
- legibly competent
- respected by others
- sexy or charming
- really pleasant to interact *in general* (not just turning on the charm to flirt)

serial killer couples exist and imo this should be a great sign for people who are stressed abt being single bc it suggests there really *is* someone out there for everyone, if u look hard enough

but the blackpilled response is apparently "yeah, women love murderers" ?? 😭 and they're kinda right, there are enough women out there who are into murderers that guys in prison get gfs from the outside, like, all the time

but i think it's an error to drop the train of thought there

this is such a real problem but also everyone is incentivized to pretend they dont see it in their own relationship *on both sides* and self awareness is hard in adverse conditions like this

like women can "just leave" when they notice a guy dragging his heels, but they dont

https://twitter.com/vocalcry/status/1784984808881287214

and it's for the same reason

no one wants to END the relationship they're just fundamentally incompatible

just realized a huge thing that informs how i think abt shy, nerdy, sexually inexperienced, socially awkward guys who are struggling to date is

these were the guys i considered my dating pool for several years eventually i realized it was never gonna happen and started dating guys who didnt hit all these criteria

my dating life suddenly went from "nonexistent, as far as i was aware" to "pretty good, actually"

this was v interesting, i noticed zero difference in the vibe this year and didnt feel stared at

ppl came up to me a bunch like they did last year but--

https://twitter.com/michaelcurzi/status/1670219906158084098

--the rare instances where they seemed kinda starstruck didn't feel so bad? i think it gets weird if they lead like that and you project back discomfort, then they dont know what to do

but if you're like "oh a new friend!" they usually chill out a lot

i think this might actually just be at the heart of charisma?

https://twitter.com/goblinodds/status/1670806777217032193

it feels like they pay specific, full attention to one person at a time, so they feel like the only person in the world

vibecamp #2 highlights thread which i'll add to as i remember things (apparently last year i didnt do a vibecamp highlights thread but here's the closest thing:

https://twitter.com/goblinodds/status/1502350438942740482?t=5-Yf33sPw67TKjzvc4Sj8g&s=19

)

think i finally have a vibecamp strat

imo it's all about balancing:

- trying to make everyone feel at home
- meeting new people
- spending crucial quality time with the people you vibe most with failed strat 1:

year 1 i just buzzed around, spent 30 seconds with everyone

also i didnt really DM or do gcs or video calls in the leadup

i got to stay in an airbnb with a bunch of my dearest mutuals, but--

think i've been drastically underestimating how uncomfortable women are around men, or at least big groups of them once again grateful for my anti-attraction field + ability to detect whether a guy is interested p quickly when it matters + default trusting nature

they dont work every time but the combo has been very good

local man realizing the value of alcohol for lubricating developing close friendships FUCK i rly like being around inebriated ppl bc they're so much more comfortable and that makes me more comfortable but like

i need them to be like this for a week so i can warm up enough to do Real Friendship Things like "talk about your problems"

vibecamp week has been like 'here have some back-to-back migraines, ur period, and also a lotion? allergy?? u dont register the first 3 days so your face is dry and fucked up at all times'

still amazing to see everyone tho maybe it'll feel different in retrospect but seems like last year was a steady high and this year i didnt get to bring bogfriend or my best bud and it's been way more highs and lows, lotta like "ok better not go mope, time to see everyone is limited"

a shocking amount of irritating behavior can be explained by "this person is trying to demonstrate their value" you'd think they could do this in a way that, like, actually provided value without being irritating but unfortunately... people dont generally realize they're doing it, and providing value without *signaling* that they're doing it doesnt actually do them any good

the new Persuasion adaptation is really awkward, feels like its target audience is millennial women who want everyone to know they like Jane Austen but haven't actually read any the protagonist seems v much like someone's self-insert, really self-absorbed while judging everyone around her for being a narcissist, etc

zero chemistry with the male lead afaict, very hard to sympathize with her