If a federal judge ever began a court order (94 pages long!!!) about me this way, I might just walk into the ocean. I'd beg you to yeet me into the sun's fiery maw as a mercy.
But it's not about me, so instead, you can join me as I schadenfreude my way through this order. 🧵
Plaintiffs sued Outokumpu Stainless USA for FLSA violations. Outokumpu had a byzantine system for calculating pay, and its pay records were critical to Plaintiffs' claims.