The thing about being raised in a quiverfull family, that people have a hard time understanding, is that you literally have no choices. Zero. None. And it’s an incredibly difficult process to create choices for yourself. Especially as a woman in that scenario.
No degree. Maybe a high school education. No job or limited work experience. I got my my drivers license and my first job in my mid 20’s. I have never been more terrified walking into a job interview to work retail. I was shaking. I didn’t know how to open a bank account or get
insurance or any of those adulting things. I had always been controlled by other people. It never occurred to me I could do things by myself. Or that I could have choices.
I was one of the lucky ones. I married my way out of my abuse which is most often a recipe for more abuse.
I want to talk about educational neglect because it’s a very real thing ex-homeschoolers go through and it’s so damaging. So many stories of children educating themselves or not being taught even the basics like math and reading. And people don’t realize how much that stunts you
I was homeschooled from 6th grade on. We did okay in the beginning but as my parents went deeper into fundamentalism my education suffered. At one point, my parents were educating eight children
children at a time. How in the world is one parent(in most households, moms are the ones doing most of the schooling)equipped to handle that? The truth is they’re not. In highschool, I educated myself. I figured out the curriculum and took the tests. I was a voracious reader so
I’m not sure most people really understand how abusive and isolating homeschooling has the capacity to be.(don’t @ me with not all homeschoolers nonsense) Abusive parents have absolute authority and there is no one to intervene. No teachers, coaches or any kind of non-parental
figure. My parents made every decision for me well into my 20s. All outside influences were heavily monitored. We could only go to places as a family. I wasn’t allowed to get a job outside the home. I couldn’t get my drivers license. My birth certificate was locked away.
I thought all of this was normal but even if I had known it would have been so hard to get away. I was so used to my parents making decisions for me and was fearful of the consequences if I disobeyed. In my 20s, legally I could have just walked out.