Writer, editor & media critic. Co-author of Talk To Your Boys @ Workman Publishing. NYT, Boston Globe, etc. Co-author of anti-racism toolkit in pinned tweet.
7 subscribers
May 2 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
In case Jonathan Haidt's thesis that kids shouldn't use social media until they're 16 (and the attempts at turning it into law) sits wrong with you, here's a pretty thorough critique:
yahoo.com/news/bad-scien…
It has sat wrong with me the whole time, partly because, developmentally, an adolescent mind is much more likely to take influence from parents during tween and early teen years -- making them prime years to start kids on social while heavily supervising them.
Dec 27, 2023 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
Just saw a video of two little girls playing a clapping game and singing the following lyrics:
Don't be polite to men that creep you out (x2)
Don't be polite to them, it's not your job to comfort men
Don't be polite to men that creep you out
And I have some BIG problems with it
(Despite it being a public video, I'm not going to share the video bc the girls are too young to have consented to this)
1. Being polite to men who creep us out is a powerful tactic for surviving potentially dangerous men. Yes, sometimes you have to fawn.
Dec 27, 2023 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Little things to say to your teenage son this week while you're chilling at home:
1. Know what I admire about you? [compliment a quality of his or something he works hard at that's just about him, not about you or your family]
EX: How kind you are to our older relatives.
more examples:
-How hard you've worked to get your GPA up this year
-The way you try to be honest and kind at the same time
-Your commitment to your hobbies
-The way you always help Grandma clean up after Christmas
-They way you know who you are and stick to it
Jul 18, 2023 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
One of the most effective Rx psychiatric drugs in history has become nearly impossible for many people to get - and yet the FDA appears to be doing nothing to help remedy it.
It's a "joke" drug to people who don't have this disability - so people think we can just go without it
For me, Adderall is a necessary part of my health - not just my work or productivity. It's literally key to my mental health and well-being.
How long will we make light of this situation? These drugs literally save lives and we're just passing the shortage off like it's nothing.
Apr 15, 2023 • 17 tweets • 3 min read
There's something that is missed in conversations about young men like this. Young man who say racist and anti-Semitic things online...
Disclaimer: There is never, ever an excuse for somebody to be racist or anti-semitic or any other kind of bigot.
If you are willing to put that philosophy out into the world, then you are racist and anti-semitic and bigoted. "It's a joke" is no excuse.
Now, onto the nuance:
Apr 13, 2023 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
The biggest failing of the podcast 'The Witch Trials of JK Rowling' is that @meganphelps claims objectivity while positioning random, hateful and problematic tweets against JK Rowling with Rowling's tweets against trans inclusion.
As if a random account with 643 followers and no blue check who says something objectively horrifying against Rowling is an indication that Rowling was right - that she is justified to say what she wants because trans activists are horrible and dangerous.
Feb 24, 2023 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
So this literally makes zero sense.
1. You can look at the CDS for any admissions cycle for nearly any school (& all UCs) and see EXACTLY the GPAs of students admitted. There aren't C averages admitted to Berkeley. Not a thing.
2. Why didn't this child apply to colleges where she would be admitted? There are TONS of great public and private schools that would not only admit this child, but would give them loads of merit scholarship.
Unless she only applied Ivy, this makes ZERO sense.
Feb 7, 2023 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
There was likely nothing Gabby Petito's parents could've said to get her out of this relationship, but I still want to talk about what we MUST say to our adolescent, teen and young adult kids before they end up in a dangerous situation.
First, in no way do I think Gabby's parents failed to do these things. I don't know them, they seem amazing, I don't think they failed in ANY WAY.
This is just an opportunity to talk about relationship violence - and how to talk to our kids about it early and often.
Jan 4, 2023 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
If you started caring about sudden cardiac deaths in athletes (and anyone, really) after the invention of the Covid vaccines, you don't actually care about sudden cardiac death.
Undiagnosed cardiomyopathies and arrhythmias have been killing young people since WELL before Covid.
There's been a HUGE debate raging among doctors, advocates and athletes about how to help prevent sudden cardiac death in young people - and it's been happening literally for decades.
Should there be routine EKGs/Echos for all youth athletes to get their sports clearance?
Jan 4, 2023 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
In defense of unfunny women:
You hate us until you need us. Until something is going down at the school or your community and you need someone who will stand up and say the unpopular thing you want said.
We're not fun at parties, but you want us at your school board meetings.
We take everything too seriously ... that is, of course, until the thing you take seriously comes up.
Then we're the ones who listen and who advocate alongside you.
Dec 29, 2022 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
Parents of boys:
This is one of the most important tweets I'll ever share with you.
This is how bigoted, anti-woman, incel, anti-democracy & other hateful ideology first reaches out kids.
This is called a pain point, and Tate is a master at reaching them. 🧵
There are ways in which men and boys in our society are suffering and they can often feel invisible.
Depression, anxiety, and the effects of trauma of many forms affect men deeply, and yet they live in a society that asks them to repress emotions.
Dec 28, 2022 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
There is an emotional burden upon the primary breadwinner in a family and it is totally OK to recognize that!
Yes, this person (usually a man) holds the most social & economic power, but they may also have profound feelings of inadequacy & other vulnerable emotions.
Primary breadwinners, especially when their income is more than 75% of the family's total income, have the emotional burden of creating a consistent & safe life for their partner, children & sometimes even elders in their household.
People's literal lives are often on the line.
Nov 16, 2022 • 20 tweets • 4 min read
This is a message to men in relationships with women
Particularly if you're with a woman over the age of 35
There's something you need to know about your girl:
Women our age - Gen X and older millennials - grew up in a time when girls were almost entirely unprotected from men & boys
We grew up with a distinct sense that our bodies were public property.
Nov 15, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
The Crown casting Dominic West, one of the sexiest and most authentically handsome English actors, as Prince Charles was an interesting choice.
Jonny Lee Miller as John Major!!!
I guess I've reached the age of "remembers history from real life and hates everything"
Nov 14, 2022 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
'No Nut November' is a great opportunity to talk to your kids about sex.
If they're over 12 and on social media, they've heard of it.
Start the convo: "I heard it's 'No Nut November' and it got me thinking about..."
Your child will groan and roll their eyes, but...
... they don't have to talk to you or even add their opinions - they just need a model for the fact that you're going to talk about sex and bodies and it's totally OK. This is just another way to show you'll be cool with any topic they come to you with.
Nov 13, 2022 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
This lesson also applies to wifehood, especially for Generation X.
A man needs a wife, children need a mom. She can't be passive or too appeasing, GenX men like a strong woman.
But she can't ever be unhappy, unsatisfied or even annoyed. If she is, she better keep it to herself
She should have a career, after all, things are expensive. But her career shouldn't overshadow his or create problems for her ability to care for the home or the kids.
She should be sexually vibrant, but not in a way other men notice- and god forbid she desire anyone else, ever
Oct 14, 2022 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
Women married to men LOVE to complain about husbands, but few admit that being married doesn't live up to the hype that our society places upon it.
We are drowned wedding culture & expectations for women to be married all while utterly unprepared for what marriage actually is.
The reality of marriage is this:
1. You will not be in love with your husband for your entire life. Maybe 1% of people get that. 2. You will desire other people at some point in your marriage. 3. You will be asked to take on the bulk of your family & home care even if working.
Oct 12, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
How loudly would I need to sing (and exactly which songs) in order to get my teenage son to go back to school after lunch today instead of staying home when it's "optional" for whatever reason?
I NEED MY ALONE TIME
"Take it Like a Man" by Amanda Shires is up first
Will report back
Sep 28, 2022 • 16 tweets • 3 min read
Why so many "Wife Guys" cheat
(A theory)
See: That try guy, John Mulaney, almost all your Evangelical uncles
I think most Wife Guys are amazed there's a woman who is going to regularly have sex with them (low self-esteem) so they are initially delighted by marriage & by their wives.
They believe (& are often told) that putting energy into their wives will make them happy.
Sep 10, 2022 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
We need to talk more about the fact that you cannot "behave" your way to safety with an abuser.
You will never be quiet enough, respectful enough, careful enough, kind enough, chaste or modest enough to stop an abuser from abusing you.
This seems obvious until you've lived it.
The first few times an abuser blows up at you will feel like your fault. That's because you will probably be able to identify something you did "wrong".
You forgot to call or came home late or drank too much during dinner with your sister or chatted on the phone with an ex.
