last night i got mega stoned and spent like 2 hours coming up with hockey players who are drift compatible and their jaegers
anyway here they are 🧵
Jaeger: Coyote Blue
Pilots: Matthew and Brady Tkachuk
History: American-made machine, was previously piloted by their father to great success
Mar 26, 2023 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
people concerned about public health in the usa hate fat people so much lmaooo
love reading an article about our declining life expectancy and have the whole thing saturated with "i can't believe all these causes aren't that americans are FAT and eat FAT FOOD and DIE"
reading these quotes you'd think this article is summarizing a report about how THE FATS ARE DYING, WE MUST SAVE THE FATS
Mar 18, 2023 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
As a lesbian whose childhood was spent very involved in an evangelical protestant church, Reimer's reasoning here is very familiar to me and I'd like to talk about this brand of homophobia for anyone who might be interested (1/12)
The evangelical party line on LGBT+ issues is "love the sinner, hate the sin." This allows them to deny being homophobes because they're happy for gay people to attend their churches and feel sad when gay people suffer, the same way they feel sad about all human suffering. (2/12)
Nov 7, 2022 • 102 tweets • 27 min read
i've been really cranky lately but you know what makes me not cranky? people asking me to tell them cool facts.
1 like = 1 cool fact
1) in ye olde baseball where everyone was chewing tobacco all the time, they'd spit on the ball over the course of the game so much that by the end of the game it would be so dark brown the batter could barely see it
May 14, 2022 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
i'm trying to compose some kind of coherent thought about my history with diet culture and i can't get over the fact that i thought my body was unacceptably fat and unathletic throughout my entire childhood and teenage years.
and it makes me so angry because 1) that wasn't true, my body was healthy and i worked out all the time and 2) that shouldn't /matter/, because it's fucked up for any kid, fat or skinny, to feel like their body is an imposition on every space they're in because of its size
May 12, 2022 • 144 tweets • 26 min read
once upon a time, also known as at the start of filming, jj and zh both receive a small red box.
inside is a small red counter, like the one below but without the reset button, and below the numbers it says "one click, one dream" in a fancy font.
zh opens his box first. unbeknownst to him, jj is currently in the bathroom doing his skin care routine and worrying over if his hairline is going to break out worse, while on speaker phone with his manager
zh turns the clicker over in his hands, looking for who it came from
Jan 31, 2022 • 129 tweets • 22 min read
for @hopelesse, who needs a distraction: i'm going to make this happen
about six months into post-canon established relationship jwds, han juwon makes a big mistake
well, it's actually not that big of a mistake to start with. he's out and about with dongsik, and as usual dongsik is flirting and being a pest, and a waitress makes a comment implicitly asking if they're together
juwon panics. if he was at ALL smooth he could have deflected it
Jan 11, 2022 • 111 tweets • 20 min read
the "planking" sex position is supposed to be comfortable for people with knee problems as well 🤔
no reason they couldn't go to pound town with spindly, uncoordinated jj pinned under all of zh's big-cat muscled grace, getting the side of his neck lovingly chewed on
what if I combined this with the classic trope “jj thinks zh is a cuddly straight guy who’s using a BL role as an excuse to flirt with gay experimentation aka inevitable heartbreak, meanwhile zh is a proud bisexual trying to Get On That and not sure why it isn’t working”
Nov 23, 2021 • 17 tweets • 3 min read
I’m still thinking about this thing my undergrad mentee said to me ages ago about how come journal club is so hostile and critical, and shouldn’t we strive to create a more positive environment
and I don’t think we should, but it was hard to articulate why
for background, Academic Journal Club is when a dozen-ish scientists take a look at some freshly released research and argue about if it’s any good or not.
generally this involves a lot of nitpicking and suspicion.
Nov 22, 2021 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
shower thought: ling rui/lfn dubcon + fucking machine, she’s launching a new discreet product line and asks if lr will help her test it, he says yes without asking for details, and then wakes up bound wrist and ankle to the bedposts with lfn adjusting a machine between his legs
he struggles, she reminds him he promised to help with her new product. she has to know it works for men as well, she can’t sell it without thorough testing and it’s awk to find willing male trial users so he should hold still and be ready to fill out a satisfaction survey later
Sep 25, 2021 • 383 tweets • >60 min read
me: but what would i even wr-
me (clown): THE SMUT WIZARD'S GOTTA TURN 🐶 INTO A GODDAMN DOG
time for me to PROCESS an IMAGE, if you know what i mean
the image is a hand on SOMEBODY'S throat and the process is gonna be 🐱/🐶 breathplay bullshit that's gonna get extremely nsfw extremely fast
first week or so of filming: z is hot, bored, tired of trying to bully his fellow cast into being social humans, and nursing a crush that is, to all appearances, gonna get FIRMLY turned down if he voices it.
Sep 3, 2021 • 483 tweets • >60 min read
YOU KNOW WHAT
it's been a hard fucking week. what if 🐱 woke up with a surprise pussy one morning and went directly to ask 🐶 what to do with it
(even though G doesn't know the first thing about vag, given, you know, it's not a place he really ventures)
we are not explaining how this happened. it just did. Z's alarm goes off and he stumbles into the bathroom to piss and -- huh. HUH! why is his dick gone?
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