Matt Haig doubles down as soon as anyone levels any provocation or criticism at him. I always used to defend him because his books have helped so many but he acts in such infantile ways. Last year I tried calmly explaining to him about Section28 & why lgbtq+ can be wary of tories & he was being so stroppy on here. Even when being treated so gently.
The literary world HATE discussions of class. It makes them fizz with awkwardness. Because class chats ask of them not to just use inspirational quotes & rake in the coin, but to care about economic differences

just constantly feel like princess diana visiting an area with land mines me waiting for my coffee in mornington crescent PRET

me walking in for my first day at the Oppenheim group me, going into escrow on my first listing for the Oppenheim group

this tweet 👏👏👏 I wrote a bit in my book about how bored I am that almost EVERY SINGLE MENTAL HEALTH MEMOIR I’ve read in the past 10yrs has the ‘obligatory paragraph’ of “thankfully I was lucky enough to get private help, thank god!!!”
& I’m like 🤔 where’s the other book!!!

https://twitter.com/amandahess/status/951152542175629312

Authors get aggy with me whenever I speak about this. gimme the “middle class people struggle with MH too!!”
Duh obvs, but the literary world rarely asks itself -why are there so many obligatory paragraphs?
do these frequent admissions of privilege ever feel exhausting/censoring?

6 yrs ago i was hosting the arts stage of a festival & we were due a talk from d*vid icke. id never heard of him. he arrived & i was like 'look at this sweet lil guy with his fam, lemme get u a chair!' he asked me to intro him & his son who was gna sing. i was like "ADORABLE!!!!" i thought he was maybe like dick strawbridge or somthing.
so on mic i was like 'ladies & gents, boys & girls, we have a lovely talk from former sports broadcaster, so can we have a huge warm round of applause for... the ickes!!"
people thought i was being sarcastic.

ive never seen drag race so @nicolacoughlan asked me to give it a try. we’ve started on Season 6 and whilst i know we are all being #kind right now, laganja estranja is the worst person I have ever watched on television the only one I consistently love is trinity k bonet because she has all the confidence of me after I got put down in maths to set 5 despite the fact I knew I could do mental arithmetic better than the masc rich boys whose dad’s were stockbrokers & deff did their homework

I’m finding each time the news comes on to be terrifying so to make it less scary, here’s the news as the loveliest celebrity Britain has ever produced, HRH Alison Hammond ✨

My uncle David passed away today after a sudden, brief illness. I didn’t know him til I was about 9 but when I did, he was the campest most flamboyant gay, brought up on a rough council estate in the 60s with my mum where he’d often be victim to violent homophobic abuse. He moved away, met his partner & found acceptance. My fave memory of him is when I was 12 & wanted a pack of polos, he told me “when you’re older you can suck whatever you want!”
I saw him New Year’s Day & said I’d had a posh NYE dinner with some gays & he went “oooh ack at her!”

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im gonna watch succession x
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gonna make peace✌️
with all my enemies🕊
except for 1 edinburgh venue tech💕
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me & mum have opened 2 or 3 of our presents already. pretty shite crop this year. some cunt’s bought me a travel backgammon set!!!??!? I don’t travel bitch!!!!!! 🎄 if I get a LYNX Africa gift set this year then I am bringing up brexit as soon as everyone’s poured their gravy ‼️

Claudia & Xander met 2 weeks ago. They’re getting married in a mid-scale regional theatre. They’ve funded the big day by selling their original Edinburgh 2013 copies of Fleabag on eBay for $3500. Claudia makes site specific mime for the under 5’s. Xand’s dad is a Tory councillor

https://twitter.com/TheStage/status/1205876613897998338

Hugo & Toby met on Love Arts. It all began with mezcals & small plates at La Bodega Negra & a hilarious row about The Crown! For them it’s vital theatre engages ALL. They just paid £1200 to see Hamilton. With 3 dogs they live in Clapham South. Both their dads are Tory councillors

there’s a chapter i want to write for the end of my book about jealousy. self-pitying almost. It’s a kind of jealousy that comes in the latter stages of grief, where you see other people like you, surrounded by people who play a role in their lives, that you yourself have lost. currently there’s a gay guy in a cafe im in. He’s just dragged three extra chairs around the only available tiny table for two. He’s my age. I know he’s gay cause my people have an app to check that.

turns out the Gavin & Stacey Christmas special is set on December 13th when everyone wakes up to Piers Morgan on TV gloating about a two-seat Tory majority & even Gwen’s omelette can’t solve matters Pam is thrilled however Mick tells her to reign it in as this means that Gwen as a WASPI woman now has to work another 60 years in a quarry before she gets her pension.

Me & Khalid in NISA Local are more than customer & vendor. He’s the most consistent male presence in my life. He always asks how I am or what I’m up to. He let me try a bar of Ritter Sport for free.
“Why the word sport when it’s chocolate!” he chuckles.
“I’m so lonely”, I retort. Also Khalid only drinks water. That’s it. Just water. Hot water with lemon at a push. How do I get this guy a Pride Of Britain award???

jo swinson collects nectar points jo swinson has never typed 8008135 on a calculator

when M.I.A. drops her 6th LP, protocols will set in motion similar to if the queen dies:
firstly i'll take 3 days statutory leave on compassionate grounds
secondly i'll need 5 days to formulate my opinions before anyone texts 'u herd dat new mia album?'
lastly i'll shoplift Beats if i happen to be in ur company, i.e. in the case of a surprise release, you must stay calm.
i will need a puff on my salbutamol inhaler.
then an uber to the nearest sonos soundsystem.
you must accompany me in transit but not in listening.
you must inform my mum what's happened.

lady hale as gay icons

My mum found out this morn the govt are not going to give her my dad’s pension contributions. Labour cut down widows pension & now the Tories have gone back on their promise.
My mum & dad worked for a combined 94 years & will receive the same pension as someone who worked for 10. I’d like the new wave of feminism today to campaign & include more working class, older women who’re systematically getting fucked over all the time by @DWP & the govt.
They ain’t getting the paperchase notebooks with an inspirational quote on the front to rep them