Unpopular opinion: "Assume positive intent" can be harmful advice. Here's why: Assuming positive intent is good advice to *give yourself* as a frame *as you* engage in crucial conversations.

Something just happened that was disturbing and snapped me from beach fantasy to harsh reality.

While at lunch, 2 white men in their 50s/60s, sitting at the table behind me, were talking about wanting to get their picture with the young, attractive female bartender. (1/5) One of the two men went up to her and asked her, and she turned him down. The men proceeded to talk about her turning him down for the next 15 minutes. One man said, “At least she was classy about it. If she would have just said no, I would have been pissed.” (2/5)