You left a meeting with a spiritual leader feeling confused, exhausted, ashamed, and believing you are the source of the problem. Your intentions were pure and honorable. Your goal was to understand how and why, to seek answers for questions that kept you up at night.

If, when I tell you my story of abuse, you respond with “there are two sides to every story”, that immediately infers that my side of the story is untrue, unacceptable, and inaccurate. If you believe me, you will say something like “I am so sorry that happened to you”. 1/5 If you cannot say those words because you are so deeply enmeshed with an abusive community or culture, I get it. The Kool-Aid is potent, sweet, and satisfying. As a matter of fact, I had my own damn tumbler. I understand the undying loyalty you feel, 2/5