Time & patience, are the enemies of a good advice.

For those of you that have been following me for at least 3 years.

I want to believe that you probably regret not listening to me 3 years ago.

If you were 21 then, you're 24 today.

If you were 25 then, you're 28 today. These days, you see me bring back posts as old as 3 years ago to validate the present day.

There is nothing that I say in 2024, that I did not say in 2021.

I just refine them & keep reminding you with love & caution.

Some of you were not single mothers 3 years ago, but you're

The truth about your sister is that she's damaged emotionally & mentally.

There is almost no redemption for her.

I'll tell you exactly why she's damaged.

From your story, she's a single mother of an 11 year old child.

That was the first time she damaged herself.

Then she met



another man.

Both of them keep breaking up and dating other people.

And she didn't listen to anyone.

Even seeing you people as enemies of "progress".

Then she went to Abuja and met another older man whose kids are married.

The man wanted to marry her, but she still could

If you meet a man when he's supposed to be busy chasing his career & building his future, & he's always the one reaching out to you.

He's not serious with his life.

A serious minded man thinks more about his financial stability than he thinks about his emotional stability. That doesn't mean that he's not interested in being in a relationship with you, or anyone else.

But he has done the chase.

And like I always tell you ladies, once a man hits, he will withdraw.

A young man that is building his career will focus more on his career than his

Let me break down this post.

While it may seem to be "favorable" to men, I actuality penned it down to alert women to be self aware.

Even if some know this & pretend not to know.

It's important that whenever you see me write things like this, you take note so as to guard

https://twitter.com/jon_d_doe/status/1813617477051662376

yourselves from unnecessary regrets.

1. For a woman in a serious relationship, there are secrets you know your man should never get to know.

Unfortunately, if he gets to know, you will not see him as the same.

But at the same time, that doesn't mean that you become too free

When I started dating my wife, she was broke.

And I was also broke.

And we dated for 9 years.

So when I see some young men saying..

"don't date broke girls"

I just think that they're ignorant.

How much do you have as a young man?

If you think that you have money, why don't you go and get married?

You open your two naked eyes to go and chase a girl that is obviously living above her means, and you come online to spew gibberish.

Some of the married men you see today, if you saw their wives when they first started dating, you won't want to

Dear young men,

I'll appeal to you to take sometime and read this DM to the last screenshot.

And for everyone to read it, I'll not post for the next 2 hours after this.

It's important that you read through this married man's story, so that you'll not make the same mistakes





that he has to made.

Everyday, I come here to painstakingly pen down what you should do and look out for, before you get married.

It's unfortunate that a lot of our parents do not counsel their children well enough, before they decide to get married.

In his case, his mother

I have a daughter as well.

And I understand how you feel.

But if you want to live long to see your daughter again, you'll listen to your mother & siblings.

You also need to carry out a DNA test to confirm that she's truly your daughter.

You may also wish to take a clue from





the story of the man I shared, that took his ex wife from Germany back to Nigeria and kept his kids in Germany.

If you can hatch such a plan, good.

Otherwise, you can take your daughter to your mother and leave travel back to the country you reside.

Although, your wife would

Unfortunately for him, he made the mistake of letting what she did, when their relationship wasn't defined, ruin the relationship that later became defined.

He met her at a club.

They vibed & knacked within days.

From his story, such is common in her environment.

So clearly, she thought of him as one of "them".

And to be fair to her, she didn't cheat on him.

When she saw that he was different, she decided to turn a new leaf and focus on him.

As evident in the conversations she had with the man she slept with.

Which was why she denied doing

Please listen to this short clip.

It'll help you understand why things change in relationships after a while.

It's one of the most challenging phase in relationships and by extension, marriage.

Let's first talk about relationships.

Most of the time, you'll notice a drop in communication after both of you have had sex once or twice.

But before the sex, there was excitement.

Both of you would call each other everyday and every munite.

And typically, the man does more of the reaching out.

Then he hits once, twice & thrice.

All of a sudden, his

Let me break this down one by one for the umpteenth time.

1) whether you're in the university or out of it, please do not get married to anyone, if you have not cohabited at intervals.

Cohabiting is win-win or win-lose or lose-lose thing.

Find time to do it and get to see

https://twitter.com/jon_d_doe/status/1807867986734150040

him or her in their true self. Yes people can pretend but you'll not live with anyone for at least 2 weeks, without seeing something that will arouse your curiosity.

And the more you cohabit, the more you'd be seeing things.

Until you come to a point where you'll decide if

No, you're not taking things too far.

In fact, your girlfriend is an olojukokoro.

This is a clear sign that she doesn't respect boundaries & is even ashamed to be your girlfriend.

For something as cheap as Hollandia yoghurt, your girlfriend disrespected you on a date you



both of you were meant to enjoy.

Let me tell you something you may not want to tell yourself.

You're man & you should know.

Before another man will be bold enough to beckon on a lady you're with, it's either the man has sized you or the lady is known for hanging out with

So this is why I tell men and women to be careful with their decisions to marry into a divorced family.

As a young man or woman, before you decide to get married into a divorced family, there are a few things you must check.

1) Did the children grow up with their father for the most part?

2) Even if the children were raised by their divorced father, how does he or she portray their father?

3) when you met the divorced mother, how well did she speak of her ex husband?

4) Is his/her mother remarried?

5) does he or she have elder sisters or brothers

I always try to remind men that we're first men before we identify with our race, culture & traditions.

And Africa is deep rooted in masculinity & Femininity.

And we recognize the traditional roles or men & women.

And we were raised same according to God's principles. What you should always pray & work for as a man, is that life is kind to you to be able to fulfill your roles as a husband and father.

I saw a video yesterday from a popular OAP who is married.

He said that his wife works and makes a lot of money too.

But he doesn't care what

There are things some men take for granted.

It's not even proper for your friend to help you financially, through your wife.

If he wants to help you, he should give it to you.

Men who know this can accuse that friend of trying to sleep with the wife.

If she reaches out to you privately for financial help, never do anything without discussing with your friend.

Even if her husband is not your friend, if a married woman meets you for financial assistance, do it through your wife or any woman you can trust.

Same applies to relationship or marital

It hurts to see a relationship that has lasted for years, crash because of the lady's infidelity.

It damages her self esteem.

And reduces her ability to bond effectively with her next man.

Because she'll likely marry a man that is not supposed to be her husband.

The moment you find yourself in a serious relationship, you as the lady will know.

It's not easy to win a man's commitment because it's the most expensive thing a man can give to you.

A lot men will lose interest after the first or second sex.

They'll reduce how they communicate with

An absentee father:

1) may not remember the birthdate of his child

2) may not remember the class or year his child is in sch

3) doesn't care to know how his child is fairing academically

4) doesn't know when his daughter sees her first period

5) never took his child to sch for once at least

6) never attended any event of his child in school

7) will see his kids run into their rooms when he returns home, & they're happy when he's away

8) cannot command respect from his kids even when he's away (although this depends on his wife)

9) shows more

I've always believed it, but covid made the final call on it.

When I started working remotely, it afforded the opportunity to study my wife's daily routine.

She wakes up before me.

She goes to bed after me.

And this happens 7 days in a week.

Except the days she is sick. I started to put myself in her shoes.

Then I quickly realized that it was a tough task to do.

Mine was to wake up, face my task for the day in my work room, ask for food, and take a shower later in the day.

As the lock down became relaxed a bit, I'll go to a bar on the evening

A married man must show reverence to his wife when it comes to her territory.

He should never allow his siblings or parents come before his wife.

His wife's decision, feelings & opinions must be taken into consideration before he acts.

If you're not doing this as a man, then you married the wrong wife.

Or your wife has taken undue advantage of the privilege.

Reading that DM from a married woman, it says alot about her matrimonial home.

A home where the husband can just go out to anywhere, without informing his wife of his whereabouts.

Let me tell

Let's move on.

Here is a DM from a man that married an older woman.

I'm not sure what advise you seek for, but it's clear (from your story), why you're experiencing what you're experiencing in your marriage.

Your wife told you that her parents didn't want her to have a



a boyfriend in uni, but they wanted her to just bring a husband.

Let us do a bit of arithmetic.

Your wife is presently 33 & you're 32.

And your marriage is 6 years this September.

Meaning you married her when she was 27 and you were 26.

At almost 27, she traveled to come

This is why with women, how you start with them is how you must continue.

In the DM I shared from that 2 month old married woman, you could infer that she was used to her husband always apologising when things go wrong.

Then in marriage, the man has refused to continue in his old ways.

Now she feels "deceived" in the marriage.

As a man, you don't go quickly saying "sorry" to your woman.

You only say "sorry" when it's expedient.

And it'll be worth it & justifiable.

Others, you show remorse through your actions.

You don't allow a woman manipulate

It's injurious to both young men and women, to base their capacity to love & respect in a relationship on monetary exchange.

And those peddling this narrative are either ignorant, deceitful or wicked.

It has never been the norm and will never be the norm.

What has been the norm is prostitution.

And it's the oldest profession ever.

Prostitutes were known to be "business" women.

And they were not looking for relationships but sex & money.

Men have from time immemorial, patronized them.

And they still do today.

Everyone involved knows that