Àgbà John Doe Profile picture
Man, Husband, Father, Uncle. C-in-C of Àgbàfians. Reality-based. The truth hurts & heals. Insults=Block. Patriarchy FC Flag Bearer. DMs to @jon_d_doee End.
66 subscribers
Jul 2 10 tweets 3 min read
A painful read.

Here is a DM from a 28 year old man.

I have told us many times, that your mother is not the same person as your father's wife, and that your father's wife is your real mother.

I have also said many times, that a wicked woman or a cheating wife will prefer to Image
Image
Image
Image
be a widow than a divorcee or a single mother.

If you read the entire DM, and with an open and indent mind, you'll understand these quotes of mine.

It's hard to convince this young man to trust a woman, because his own mother, who should have been a good example of a woman to Image
Jul 1 17 tweets 4 min read
This morning, I shared a DM from lady who had a conversation with her mother.

The mother told her that a woman should sometimes act like a "dunce" when she's in a relationship or marriage.

Over the years, and in my experience dealing with women, I have observed that most women in their 20s appear more exposed, knowledgeable and confident that their male peers of the same age bracket.

If you take a random survey of women in their 20s, most will tell you that they prefer to date much older men.

In particular, men in their 30s.

They tend to
Jun 27 8 tweets 2 min read
I'll answer you in two phases:

Phase 1:

If you're cohabiting with your girlfriend as students, both of you should jointly take care of your bills.

She brings, & you bring too.

This was what my lovely wife and I did when we were cohabiting in school.

Sometimes, if we ran Image ran out of cash, she would either call her elder ones living abroad or she would go to her village to meet her parents.

Then she would return with foodstuff & some money.

Whenever she returned, this was what she did.

"Sweetie, I came back with these foodstuff. My mother gave
Jun 19 19 tweets 6 min read
I'll be dropping the DMs in series.

And I'll pin this post, so many would read and judge the winner.

Toaster no 1. Image
Image
Toaster no 2. Image
Jun 15 10 tweets 2 min read
How to treat your husband like the king that he is.

1) when he's leaving for work, you make sure he's well dressed, and you kiss his forehead saying...

"My darling husband, you'll go and come back in safe hands. I wish you a blessed day".

2) while he's having his bath, you select his boxers, singlet or tie for the day. And place them strategically on the bed. So he sees them, and wears them.

3) You have already packaged his lunch in his lunch pack. This one typically occurs within the first few years of marriage. And may stop once kids start to
Jun 15 4 tweets 2 min read
Ordinarily, I would have ignored your DM.

Or just posted it without caption.

But since it's father's day, I'll grant you audience because I am a father, and I imagined what I would advice my daughter, if she was as stupid as you.

Everyday, I come here to say that any woman Image
Image
that thinks she's capable of loving a man, is bound to make stupid decisions or mistakes.

Some of you don't just understand it.

You term it as me either insulting you, or misleading you.

When in actual fact, I am trying to help you.

Look at you.

Out of desperation, you used
Jun 13 9 tweets 3 min read
When I talked about a woman investing in you, and you investing in the future of both of you, this is not what I meant.

At 23, you're feeding and acting like a mother for a 26 year old man.

It has not occurred to you yet, that you're enabling him & that he's using you? Image
Image
Image
Image
How can you pay almost a million naira in rent for a jobless man?

And additional 500k for a non-existent business?

You're talking about cohabiting with him, has it not occurred to you that, by virtue of paying his rent for him, he's the one that will have to be living with you? Image
Jun 10 7 tweets 2 min read
Hmmm.

Please read this DM.

And I hope you young ladies learn from it.

Dear young man,

It's unfortunate that what you thought you had, may soon come to an end.

Not because your girlfriend has not tried, but because she has used her unchecked tongue and lack of wisdom to Image
Image
Image
ruin her relationship of almost two years.

And she opened her mouth to tell you that the reason she cheated on her ex, was because he cheated on her.

I am a man, and I know how such words make you feel.

What she told you indirectly is that if you cheat on her, she too will
Jun 6 11 tweets 2 min read
You cannot be above 25 years of age, and be doing long distance relationship with a man.

You're wasting your time, & taking unnecessary risks.

Yes, close distance relationships can eventually lead to a long distance relationship.

But you have both been with each other for a while before that.

And even when your relationship is about to become long distance, both of you must have a plan to reunite within a short time frame.

Long distance relationship is unhealthy.

It breeds lack of trust, unnecessary emotional roller coaster, & denies you the
May 31 6 tweets 2 min read
Your husband is right.

You know what you're doing, & this is typical of almost every woman.

What you're doing is testing the waters and looking for ways to make some of your bad behaviors a norm.

But your husband understands that a woman should be treated how they ought to Image
Image
be treated, and not how they wish to be treated.

He corrects or admonishes you in one thing, then you go ahead to do another albeit, almost similar.

Meaning you want to find a way to make your husband accept that behavior of yours, & stop complaining.

It cannot work for you.
May 14 8 tweets 3 min read
Whenever I tell you young men that, before you choose your wife, choose her mother.

This DM is another typical example.

And unfortunately for this young man, he's surrounded by women and not close to his father.

But I want to believe that God is trying to save him from Image
Image
Image
Image
destruction, & has directed him to my DM.

If only he will listen to me.

To start with, that 5m idea that you're planning to invest in her business, you better cancel it from your head.

And just because you met her a virgin, doesn't make her immune from any proper vetting.
May 9 8 tweets 2 min read
Let me say a few things.

A man that approaches a lady for the first time, saying that he wants to date you for marriage, may be a potential red flag.

Especially if the lady is in her late 20s and 30s.

When a lady is at this stage in her life, she becomes an easy prey for Men.

So don't get easily carried away.

The irony of it is that even the man doesn't understand that, the "pick up line" could be to his own detriment.

He thinks he is trying to play smart.

Should he not realise this, that lady will take undue advantage of his foolishness.
Apr 21 9 tweets 3 min read
Unserious men.

Tomorrow, "Àgbà I am looking for a wife".

Do not respond to any man that chats like them.

And for the one that was flaunting money to you, he must be a yahoo boy.

Yes, men want sex most of the time, but he must first show that he can have good conversations Image
Image
that would spark your interest.

There are men in this community that have done it, and some have even found their wives from the community.

At 25, your plan should be to target men that are showing signs of being ready for marriage.

Not fuck boys.

How do you identify such
Apr 21 13 tweets 3 min read
I told you people that despite dating my wife for 9 years, I proposed to her when both of us were on the same salary.

She accepted, but asked that we defer any wedding until she was sure that I could take care of myself, her and our unborn children.

It took over a year for that to heppen.

I was even living in an apartment that I shared with my friends.

And she was getting close to 30 too.

Despite all I had experienced, I still come here to tell you that women don't love men.

And they shouldn't.

A man must be able to give a woman hope, and
Apr 16 11 tweets 3 min read
Please read from a married man.

We had conversations few days ago, but I decided not to share his DM.

He sent me this yesterday, & wants my advice.

A little back story.

He met his wife and married her under 5 months.

He was always taking advice from his wife, & doing what Image
Image
Image
she wants.

He invested millions into her business, but she doesn't have much to show for it.

He opened another shop for her.

Now, he too is having issues with his business and his finances are now limited.

Please note all he said that his wife said and is saying.

At no
Apr 14 11 tweets 3 min read
"A blind husband is a good husband".

Some of you keep asking me what I mean by this.

I did not say that you should be deliberately blind to what is obviously visible.

What it means is that a woman will continue to treat you as a king until you discover her secrets.

Please take your minds back to all the DMs from married men that caught their cheating wives.

The narratives are very similar.

Their wives become defensive, then they start to look for ways to manipulate them.

And then they become violent & dangerous.

She knows that you will no
Apr 9 8 tweets 2 min read
If the wife is a full time housewife.

He does those things that a masculine in nature, around the house.

He is not supposed to cook, clean, do laundry or the dishes.

He can only do them, when his wife is sick or unavailable.

If he wants to cook, he can do it for the sake of Image creating memories for his kids, or he just feels like being "romantic" to his wife.

If the wife is a career/business wife, that goes out everyday like he does.

She takes out time during the weekends or off days, to do the cooking & cleaning.

Then if he returns before his wife,
Apr 7 5 tweets 4 min read
Please read the conversation that I had with a 41 year old married man.

Ensure that you read to the last screenshot 👇. Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Apr 6 4 tweets 3 min read
Please read the conversation that I had with a 40 year old married man.

Ensure that you read to the last screenshot 👇. Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Apr 5 14 tweets 3 min read
It's mostly because you young men of this generation drew far away from your fathers, & embraced the woke culture, that's why you're finding it hard to lead the women of your generation.

Your level of stupidity has emboldened them.

Now they're destroying themselves in the process.

Unable to prepare themselves to be good wife materials, & raise a family in the future, under a balanced & functional home.

It's not funny.

Everyday, I share DM stories of how men are dealt with by women in the most embarrassing manner.

Each time I read those DMs,
Apr 3 4 tweets 2 min read
You have lost your wife.

You cannot get her back, and I do not advice that you do that.

Unfortunately, you lost your child, but that in itself, will make you not to have long ties with her or her family.

Your mother as well, doesn't like her.

If her father and brother Image
Image
Image
wanted your marriage to work, they would not have come to your place to take her away to go rent her a place to stay.

They would have asked her to come home, & wait for you to make amends.

But that obviously, is not the case.

And I dare say.. That she has stepped out.