Àgbà John Doe Profile picture
Man, Husband, Father, Uncle. C-in-C of Àgbàfians. Reality-based. The truth hurts & heals. Insults=Block. Patriarchy FC Flag Bearer. DMs to @jon_d_doee End.
66 subscribers
Aug 5 9 tweets 2 min read
A young lady of 22 was in my DM this morning.

The image below depicts what her boyfriend is doing.

Relationship of almost 2 years.

He doesn't like her coming to see him, whenever she's on her period.

I recall that last year, I made a post where I asked women to target when Image they're in their period, to go visit their men.

And that they should study how he treats them, compared to when they visit & not on their period.

This is very important if you have been in a long term relationship.

Many of you will discover that your boyfriends are mostly
Aug 3 5 tweets 2 min read
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

This DM is from the married woman who was worried because she was having video sex with her husband.

He's back now, but he's angry because she didn't shave her toto well in a way that it'll turn her husband on.

Let me tell you something. Image
Image
Image
I don't disagree with your husband on this.

There are men who do not like clean shaved toto.

The presence of pubic hairs turn them on.

And your husband happens to be one.

There is nothing you can do to pacify him ooo.

His brain is wired that way.

Since you have apologized,
Aug 1 9 tweets 3 min read
A lot of young men and Infact, young women really need to be in this community.

Because I'm afraid of what they don't know, & how their ignorance can ruin them.

This DM is from a young man who was asked by his friend to come meet me for advice.

He's not just doubting his Image
Image
Image
friend, but doubting his own sanity.

Something inherent in his masculinity is telling him that he has made the wrong decision, but love doesn't want him to accept it.

To him, he feels his friend cannot advise him, but he knows that something is not right.

For the umpteenth
Jul 21 13 tweets 3 min read
Alright, let's move on.

Please read this DM from a married man.

He did not have sex with his non-virgin wife until marriage.

Now, they're not sexually compatible, & his wife is addicted to porn.

He'll always have to finger his wife before she cums.

And according to him, Image
Image
he's not enjoying sex with her.

Can you imagine how frustrating this can be for a man?

Sexual compatibility is a very big deal.

If both of you have been sexually active, you must check for it, & be convinced that both of you are in sync.

Let me explain why I said he'll be
Jul 19 8 tweets 3 min read
You see... Sometimes, I don't want to blame those that hate me.

Because some of the things I say here, feels like reopening old wounds.

Please read this DM from a married man.

And read what I said last year, & I have repeated same several times.

If you read carefully, you'll Image
Image
Image
see where he said that he now realizes what I've been saying all these while.

Because a lot of us like to see our mothers as "saints" and our fathers as demons.

I also have a mother, but I'll never let my emotions, & the fact that I have a mother, then avoid saying what needs
Jul 16 12 tweets 3 min read
I have been reading comments.

It's a very complex topic, & a lot of factors have to be considered.

1) the age of the lady
2) the man's financial strength
3) the risk of cheating & getting caught
4) possible increase in BCs
5) the man's age

Let me break down each of the 5 points.

1) a lady that is above 25, & wishes to be married before she's 30, will most likely be opened to giving other men a chance, if the man she's presently dating is not giving her enough hope or reasons to wait for him.

And typically, she'll be facing pressure from both
Jul 12 15 tweets 3 min read
A relationship well intended & healthy, is not a distraction for young men and women.

When I met my wife in school, we were very young.

It was in my 2nd semester of 100 level.

Because I was young and in love, it affected my 2nd semester GPA.

That GPA happened to be the lowest that I ever had all through my university days.

And it was still not below 3.5.

I still finished my 100 level with over 4 point CGPA.

When we moved into our small apartment from 200 level, both of us had stabilized emotionally, & focusing on our studies.

We went on to
Jul 7 11 tweets 3 min read
Last night, we all read a DM from a 33 year old married man whose recalcitrant wife wanted to get him fired from his work place.

This is a marriage that is just a year old.

She also hid the fact that her parents are no longer together from him.

Meaning, she knew that it was a deal breaker for him.

A few years ago, I wrote a thread, telling us that when you marry your spouse, you're married to your best "enemy".

And I've also said many times, that when you choose your wife, you have chosen your destiny.

Let's talk about the best enemy part.
Jul 2 10 tweets 3 min read
A painful read.

Here is a DM from a 28 year old man.

I have told us many times, that your mother is not the same person as your father's wife, and that your father's wife is your real mother.

I have also said many times, that a wicked woman or a cheating wife will prefer to Image
Image
Image
Image
be a widow than a divorcee or a single mother.

If you read the entire DM, and with an open and indent mind, you'll understand these quotes of mine.

It's hard to convince this young man to trust a woman, because his own mother, who should have been a good example of a woman to Image
Jul 1 17 tweets 4 min read
This morning, I shared a DM from lady who had a conversation with her mother.

The mother told her that a woman should sometimes act like a "dunce" when she's in a relationship or marriage.

Over the years, and in my experience dealing with women, I have observed that most women in their 20s appear more exposed, knowledgeable and confident that their male peers of the same age bracket.

If you take a random survey of women in their 20s, most will tell you that they prefer to date much older men.

In particular, men in their 30s.

They tend to
Jun 27 8 tweets 2 min read
I'll answer you in two phases:

Phase 1:

If you're cohabiting with your girlfriend as students, both of you should jointly take care of your bills.

She brings, & you bring too.

This was what my lovely wife and I did when we were cohabiting in school.

Sometimes, if we ran Image ran out of cash, she would either call her elder ones living abroad or she would go to her village to meet her parents.

Then she would return with foodstuff & some money.

Whenever she returned, this was what she did.

"Sweetie, I came back with these foodstuff. My mother gave
Jun 19 19 tweets 6 min read
I'll be dropping the DMs in series.

And I'll pin this post, so many would read and judge the winner.

Toaster no 1. Image
Image
Toaster no 2. Image
Jun 15 10 tweets 2 min read
How to treat your husband like the king that he is.

1) when he's leaving for work, you make sure he's well dressed, and you kiss his forehead saying...

"My darling husband, you'll go and come back in safe hands. I wish you a blessed day".

2) while he's having his bath, you select his boxers, singlet or tie for the day. And place them strategically on the bed. So he sees them, and wears them.

3) You have already packaged his lunch in his lunch pack. This one typically occurs within the first few years of marriage. And may stop once kids start to
Jun 15 4 tweets 2 min read
Ordinarily, I would have ignored your DM.

Or just posted it without caption.

But since it's father's day, I'll grant you audience because I am a father, and I imagined what I would advice my daughter, if she was as stupid as you.

Everyday, I come here to say that any woman Image
Image
that thinks she's capable of loving a man, is bound to make stupid decisions or mistakes.

Some of you don't just understand it.

You term it as me either insulting you, or misleading you.

When in actual fact, I am trying to help you.

Look at you.

Out of desperation, you used
Jun 13 9 tweets 3 min read
When I talked about a woman investing in you, and you investing in the future of both of you, this is not what I meant.

At 23, you're feeding and acting like a mother for a 26 year old man.

It has not occurred to you yet, that you're enabling him & that he's using you? Image
Image
Image
Image
How can you pay almost a million naira in rent for a jobless man?

And additional 500k for a non-existent business?

You're talking about cohabiting with him, has it not occurred to you that, by virtue of paying his rent for him, he's the one that will have to be living with you? Image
Jun 10 7 tweets 2 min read
Hmmm.

Please read this DM.

And I hope you young ladies learn from it.

Dear young man,

It's unfortunate that what you thought you had, may soon come to an end.

Not because your girlfriend has not tried, but because she has used her unchecked tongue and lack of wisdom to Image
Image
Image
ruin her relationship of almost two years.

And she opened her mouth to tell you that the reason she cheated on her ex, was because he cheated on her.

I am a man, and I know how such words make you feel.

What she told you indirectly is that if you cheat on her, she too will
Jun 6 11 tweets 2 min read
You cannot be above 25 years of age, and be doing long distance relationship with a man.

You're wasting your time, & taking unnecessary risks.

Yes, close distance relationships can eventually lead to a long distance relationship.

But you have both been with each other for a while before that.

And even when your relationship is about to become long distance, both of you must have a plan to reunite within a short time frame.

Long distance relationship is unhealthy.

It breeds lack of trust, unnecessary emotional roller coaster, & denies you the
May 31 6 tweets 2 min read
Your husband is right.

You know what you're doing, & this is typical of almost every woman.

What you're doing is testing the waters and looking for ways to make some of your bad behaviors a norm.

But your husband understands that a woman should be treated how they ought to Image
Image
be treated, and not how they wish to be treated.

He corrects or admonishes you in one thing, then you go ahead to do another albeit, almost similar.

Meaning you want to find a way to make your husband accept that behavior of yours, & stop complaining.

It cannot work for you.
May 14 8 tweets 3 min read
Whenever I tell you young men that, before you choose your wife, choose her mother.

This DM is another typical example.

And unfortunately for this young man, he's surrounded by women and not close to his father.

But I want to believe that God is trying to save him from Image
Image
Image
Image
destruction, & has directed him to my DM.

If only he will listen to me.

To start with, that 5m idea that you're planning to invest in her business, you better cancel it from your head.

And just because you met her a virgin, doesn't make her immune from any proper vetting.
May 9 8 tweets 2 min read
Let me say a few things.

A man that approaches a lady for the first time, saying that he wants to date you for marriage, may be a potential red flag.

Especially if the lady is in her late 20s and 30s.

When a lady is at this stage in her life, she becomes an easy prey for Men.

So don't get easily carried away.

The irony of it is that even the man doesn't understand that, the "pick up line" could be to his own detriment.

He thinks he is trying to play smart.

Should he not realise this, that lady will take undue advantage of his foolishness.
Apr 21 9 tweets 3 min read
Unserious men.

Tomorrow, "Àgbà I am looking for a wife".

Do not respond to any man that chats like them.

And for the one that was flaunting money to you, he must be a yahoo boy.

Yes, men want sex most of the time, but he must first show that he can have good conversations Image
Image
that would spark your interest.

There are men in this community that have done it, and some have even found their wives from the community.

At 25, your plan should be to target men that are showing signs of being ready for marriage.

Not fuck boys.

How do you identify such