Co-host of Patch Notes @NoCartridge. Video game reviews editor @goonhammer. Sports/gaming writer; free agent.
May 17, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
maybe The Creator will prove me wrong, but i still don't think denzel's kid has the juice.
figured out what that movie's aesthetic reminded me of: it looks like firaxis xcom2 but without the cool aliens
May 16, 2023 • 16 tweets • 2 min read
the hard drive n64 game list is better than the other video game list that's been making the rounds recently, but castlevania 64 over shadows of the empire is some grim stuff.
still haven't found where it is on the list, but confident in saying they're gonna put hybrid heaven too low by probably a good 100 spots.
May 15, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
captain shit.
Mar 13, 2023 • 42 tweets • 16 min read
it's 9 AM and i'm watching the only good thing taylor sheridan has ever been involved with. if you know you know
it ain't fucking sicario
Mar 13, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
the fucked up thing about the season finale of poker face is that the idea of natasha lyonne and benjamin bratt running around the world solving crimes and having guns is actually a great S2 pitch
like it can't happen due to things that occured 8 minutes into the first episode of the series but the show really does a great job of making you want it
Nov 13, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
listening to the right time about the saturday hire and lmao of course that dude is a "i'm really big about our union, and ONLY our union" guy
i guess he's not anymore now that he's management but the (very common) "pro athlete who fights like a wildcat for his own CBA then turns around and uses his money to help bury other labor org" is so frustrating/fascinating
Nov 12, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
penn state just scored on maryland with a play from a formation that hasn't been used above high school ball since the GI bill was signed or some shit
THEY FUCKING DID IT AGAIN.
Nov 2, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
what bothers me about these guys the most is the same as what bothers me in a bunch of their executive buddies, which is that they are driving this bus somewhere on purpose but keep talking like they just got on the same time you did and where it's going is out of their hands
that AI Tom Cruise thing is them actively fantasizing about where they want to take this industry: they want it to be a fantasia of untrammeled executive boardroom Decision Making, no actors, no sets, just raw content. but they talk about it like someone else wants it, not them!
May 16, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
the suns have broken 30. the comeback starts now
hrm. i expected to be posting "the suns have broken 50. the comeback starts now" before now
May 15, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
trying to figure out who my casual fan rooting interest is in the NBA playoffs now. is it the Heat? I think it's the Heat. I was pulling for the Sixers but I don't really hold it against whoever beats them, because they're the Sixers
maybe Dallas in the West. sorry to my many Warriors mufos but you're by far my favorite thing about the Warriors
May 15, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Such a stroke of good fortune that in so many of these cases, the owner's son is also the most qualified man for the job.
between Justin Verlander's brother and the respective sons of Dick Monfort and Hank Steinbrenner, it's been a banner year for guys you'd think were only hired for their last names instead proving themselves with hard work and grinder mindset!
May 14, 2022 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
no one's ever been convicted of being too stupid to breathe in any US court, including the court of public opinion. cops and CEOs figured out a long time ago the best way to get away with something is to aggressively proclaim you're dumb as a rock. Politicians figuring it out too
this is because so much of our standards of legal and public ethics are absolutely obsessed with knowing whether someone knew they were doing or acting wrong in a given moment, rather than considering the outcome. very easy to game if you have no shame
Sep 20, 2021 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
not sure how AtlA is clearing an inherent moral goodness bar that every other well-done children's adventure show doesn't clear. seems like the redemption of Zuko really blinded a lot of people to there actually being fucked up evil villains in AtlA and them decisively losing
this is putting aside the general dopeyness of the premise of course
Sep 20, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
there was an Onion style joke here abt combining the most obtuse, most longwinded, and least interesting button prompt grammar in the biz with a lightsaber motion control fight for the worst QTE in gaming history, but I see reality has decided to go ahead and just greenlight it
it is absolutely astonishing putting everything else aside that that studio has survived and thrived reputationally off of "all of our games are extended in-cutscene dexterity gates, mechanically" while pretty conclusively not ever being able to competently design one of those
Jul 8, 2021 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
watched MI 4-6 tonight. re-solidified my opinion that mission impossible is the best american blockbuster franchise and that it's not particularly close
turns out you just need an utter fucking psychopath at the helm made of money, grievance, and will
Jul 8, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
this was the funniest moment of the trump presidency and it wasn't particularly close
you need to remember the context, which was that he gave this statement just before abandoning a bunch of his most fervent supporters on the side of the road as he fled for his plane, while tiny dancer played diegetically on the sound system
Jul 7, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
i see duke university has finally found the real culprits of climate change
no bigger power move than when, during a song in a musical, a character says something like "To the jail!" and suddenly it's a full scene change during the instrumental bridge
actually that's a lie. there is one bigger power move, and that's when a character in a musical starts singing the verse and chorus structure previously established by a different character, mockingly
