9 reasons why a lot of you ignore the red flags.

A thread.

1. We let our feelings override our minds, as a result we focus more on what seems to be a potential and ignore what could be a deal breaker. 2. We badly want the relationship to work even on the expense of our happiness and we are afraid of being single or to start over.

9 THE TYPES OF WIVES:

1.THE GOSSIPING ONE
What you love talking about are stories of others, often negative stories. Your husband looks at you and wonders, is there not something better to talk about?

A thread for when you're hungry... 2. THE PASSIVE IN BED ONE
You lay in bed, lifeless, wanting your husband to do all the work to seduce you. You make no moves on him and he is starting to feel drained because it is not two way.

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE

You should be adequately prepared before heading into marriage.When you jump into marriage without adequate preparations, you jump out of it sooner than expected.

A thread... Just because you love him/her isn’t enough criteria to get married. There are certain things you should discuss with your partner before saying “I do”.
Check them out below

Dear Brother

5 THINGS YOU LOOK OUT FOR BEFORE ASKING A LADY OUT.

Pls don’t read this thread when you’re angry because I don’t want anyone to find my address and beat me. I’m an elderly person and I don’t like problems biko.

Now read after eating rice & beans… 1) Be Sure of what You Want from her First.

It's very bad for a lady you are "toasting" to ask you exactly what you want, and you are stuttering, telling her you people should start first, start wetin first? Is it generator?

HOW TO LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH YOUR CHILDREN...✍🏾

1. Send little notes of love to each other through your children. Children love being messengers of love.

A thread for family oriented people. Read when you have money in your account… 2. Tell your children the unique story of how you met each other. Children love a good love story. Your love story is more important to them than what they see on TV.

How GENERATIONAL TRAUMA shows up in families

A needful thread... 1. Alcoholism or substance use

Using substances to cope is a common response when we can't self-regulate and haven't been modeled healthy coping mechanisms

I’m going to get bashed for this, but I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart…

IT IS NOT IN THE NATURE OF MEN. MEN ARE NOT WIRED TO CHEAT, THEY CHOOSE TO CHEAT.

I have had to listen to this preposterous postulations for too long and it’s time we talk about it.

Don’t read… This ideology that men are polygamous in nature has flown around too much that it’s gradually becoming a norm.

It’s actually people who lack self control, discipline and a clearly defined purpose on relationship/marriage that say this as a reason to be promiscuous.

In 2015 I had the most traumatic trauma healing therapy cases ever…

I was a vocal coach & critic at the time and I had gotten a little famous so I usually get invited to work with different choirs mostly before a major concert.

There was this young beautiful alto singer… She was about 21 at the time and she the kind of voice you’d want to call “the voice of an angel” but she hadn’t learnt control yet she was to do have several solos during the concert.

I noticed all the boys in the choir were fond of her. Since she was beautiful I felt

HOW TO BE ALWAYS HAPPY IN LIFE. READ THESE AWESOME LIFE TIPS.

1. Always remember that there is nobody on this earth that does not have problems. You are not the only one that has problems.

2. Challenges are part of life. It is only a dead man who has no challenges.

Read... 3. no problem has no solution. There are solutions to the pains you are going through.

4. The way you picture yourself in your mind can affect your happiness. Picture yourself as a valuable and beautiful person. Avoid low self-esteem and inferiority complex.

NEW YEAR STRATEGIES TO AVOID UNNECESSARY PRESSURE IN 2024

1. Put your kids in schools you can afford because expensive schools don't guarantee good results. Just ensure they attend a good affordable school.

You might wanna read this... 2. Rent apartments you
can pay for
conveniently. Don’t live
in a house you struggle
to pay yearly.

3. Let’s plan our lives and
live within our means.
Save more and spend
less.

Essential life lessons you should learn in your 20s

1. Manage your time

You're not overwhelmed
You're unorganized

- Wake up earlier
- Create a to-to-list
- Set deadlines
- Stick to your schedule

Don't read if you don't like advice... 2. Focus on one thing

Everyone wants results, but nobody wants to stay focused.

The gap between your current life and the life you want is called Focus

Focus 100% on one thing, instead of doing 5 things with 20% focus each

5 Types of women to avoid:

1. A woman surrounded by many men she calls friends. Those men are your replacement in the waiting.

2. A woman who wants you for your money and brings you no value. She’s a financial parasite and vampire. She’ll ruin you.

Read when angry… 3. A woman who doesn’t take instructions, corrections and directions from you. She’s arrogant and will never take responsibility for her actions and inactions.

RELATIONSHIP NUGGETS...✍🏾

1. No man wants a woman who is accessible to every man.

2. You will reach the age where you can easily tell that the relationship is not going to work just by the conversation.

Pls don't read... kindly ignore 3. If you have to beg someone to do the bare minimum for you and if you have to keep telling them how you deserved to be treated better then for goodness sake. LEAVE. It's not worth your peace.

IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FOR 2024

Always go with the person that loves you, don't go with the person you love because, the person you love will only love you on their terms. But the person that loves you will go to the ends of the earth for you.

Strictly for the singles... There's a big difference.

The problem is everyone is chasing people they love and when you always chase the person you love, they're only going to limit their love because they don't love you to the magnitude at which you love them.

DEAR LADIES… SPECIAL ADVICE FOR THE NEW YEAR

1. Do not allow what you have or do not have, define your value.

2. Don't pursue success alone; work on yourself too

3. That you can't afford "luxury" at the moment shouldn't make you feel worthless.

Only for single ladies... 4. Transform the situation around you into something of value.

5. Do not be in the midst of friends who make you feel inferior; Let your circle of friends be people who see value in you.

6. How valuable you think you are will determine the value others will place on you.

WAYS to improve your COMMUNICATION SKILLS in 2024

1. Body language

Your body language communicates a lot about how you're feeling and can influence the way others perceive you.

New year new thread... 2. Be clear and concise

When you're communicating, make sure your message is clear and easy to understand

Leave out the fluff and come to the point. If you confuse people, your message won’t get through. Communicate your message in a clear and easy-to-understand way.

When I started using pen in my primary school, and I made a mistake, I would try hard to erase it before submitting to my teacher.
Sometimes, I use chalk to clean my mistake but it later reappeared. So I began to use saliva, it worked, but only to leave holes in my books.

Read.. My teachers then used to beat me for being outrageously dirty. But all I tried to do was to cover my error.
One day, a kind hearted teacher who loved me so much called me aside and

DOES AGE MATTER IN RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE???

If you asked me this question a couple of years ago, I’d most likely say, “NO”. But my experience in the last few years have shown that whether you like it or not, there are certain things you can’t avoid.

Don’t shout, just read… In 2023 alone with me being absent for about 5-6months, I’ve been part of the process of the dissolution of 82 marriages precisely.

In December alone, it’s about 31 cases.

The interesting thing is 63 out of this 82 are marriages with a minimum of 10years age difference.

12 THINGS TO SAY NO TO IN YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

1. Say NO to going to bed with unresolved issues. The longer issues pile up the messy things become and the climate in your home worsens

Don't read if you're single... 2. Say NO to involving parents or family in solving marital matters. Instead, see a counsellor, a pastor or a neutral person of authority who believes in marriage if you can't manage a breakthrough as a couple.

Now that we have found a common ground on the issue let me reiterate this, make sure you have the deep conversation on everything before you say “I do”. You are only sure of yourself and tolerance, so don’t assume anything. Talk them out.

Got a call around 3am… It was from a pastor friend and usually I would have ignored but there are people I don’t ignore their calls. He told me he wanted to put me on loudspeaker that there’s a couple in his house and they need my attention.

It so happened that this 11month old couple were fighting…

That is not the solution to the problem, there are other ways to make it better.

I heard someone say I hate marriage.
I am not surprised because it might be a result of what he or she has seen in the environment or what might even be going on in their family.

Read... It's not your fault to be born in that broken family where love does not exist, it is not your fault that the people around you are having a bad marriage, and it is not your fault that your parent marriage is not working. But,