Kellum Dander Profile picture
Proctor-at-large of the Carswell Fensterwald Memorial Library for Ornithological Sciences. Connoisseur of fine cheeses. @kellumdander@mastodon.social
Jan 4, 2021 4 tweets 2 min read
The fact that the people around this white-power A-hole aren't beating the ever-living crap out of him tells you everything you need to know about the Republican party. The reason Colonel Sanders here isn't punching this A-hole is because he's willing to tolerate white supremacy.

If you're willing to tolerate white supremacists, that means you are one.

It's that simple.
Jan 4, 2021 10 tweets 6 min read
@realDonaldTrump @SenRonJohnson There was an old man from Queens
Who preferred young girls in their teens
Then a gangster named Vlad
Filmed him being quite bad
With some girl he had met at Epstein's

More 👇 @realDonaldTrump @SenRonJohnson Old Donny was quite prone to fibbin'
And he lost every chance he was given
So when finally at last
We tossed him out on his ass
He had to find a new place to go live in

More 👇
Jan 3, 2021 5 tweets 2 min read
Guy (obviously very proud of himself) writes extensive thread about a "teachable moment" with his 9yo (in which she comes to him hungry and he forces her for SIX HOURS to figure out how to open a can on her own) - - turns into a "teachable moment" for him, but he fails to learn. Humans, like other primates, learn primarily from watching others solve problems, and mimicking their behavior.

Engineers will tell you, almost all problem solving is taking something that someone else has done, and reapplying it in a slightly novel way.
Jan 2, 2021 6 tweets 3 min read
Since you asked... Here are a few:

1) ImageImage 2) ImageImage
Dec 30, 2020 15 tweets 5 min read
@realDonaldTrump There was an old man from Queens
Who preferred young girls in their teens
Then a gangster named Vlad
Filmed him being quite bad
With some girl he had met at Epstein's

More 👇 @realDonaldTrump Old Donny was quite prone to fibbin'
And he lost every chance he was given
So when finally at last
We tossed him out on his ass
He had to find a new place to go live in

More 👇
Dec 30, 2020 9 tweets 2 min read
This pandemic is a case study in effective vs ineffective govts.

In S Korea, they've kept their country open and suffered fewer than 1000 deaths despite being one of the most densely populated countries in the world. 1/ In many Asian countries they've never even had a real outbreak, owing to aggressive testing & tracing + quarantine of infected people. 2/
Dec 24, 2020 12 tweets 4 min read
@realDonaldTrump There was an old man from Queens
Who preferred young girls in their teens
Then a gangster named Vlad
Filmed him being quite bad
With some girl he had met at Epstein's

More 👇 @realDonaldTrump As Donny continued his lootin'
There really could be no disputin'
That year after year
It became ever more clear
He was working for Vladimir Putin

More 👇
Dec 24, 2020 4 tweets 1 min read
To everyone expecting justice to be served, I'm sorry.

He's going to get away with all of it. All of them will.

And the reason, I'm sorry to say, is because the Democrats are too afraid to hold any of them to account.

I wish it wasn't this way.

I'm sorry. If I'm wrong about this, I'll be ecstatic.

But think back to the impeachment last year (was that only a year ago?).

The charges, half-assed. The hearings, limp-wristed. The followup, nonexistent.

It doesn't appear that Dems have the strength to fight.
Dec 23, 2020 7 tweets 2 min read
Corollary: Republicans want to make rich people richer, and poor people more miserable. This is, of course, the gospel teaching of Rich White Jesus, as told in the Book of Winthorpe and the Book of Randolph (found only in the *real* Rich White People's Bible, not that socialist trash they keep passing around.)
Dec 22, 2020 4 tweets 1 min read
What if instead of a government we just had a group of people to make rules that we all had to follow, and another group to take care of some common problems we all face? We could have some sort of fair selection process, too. What if instead of airplanes, we took buses, and made it so they could travel through the air?
Dec 21, 2020 10 tweets 8 min read
@realDonaldTrump @kilmeade @foxandfriends There was a failed businessman
Who sported an orange spray-tan
He could only get votes
From some old guys in boats
And the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan @realDonaldTrump @kilmeade @foxandfriends As Donny continued his lootin'
There really could be no disputin'
That year after year
It became ever more clear
He was working for Vladimir Putin

More 👇
Dec 18, 2020 10 tweets 3 min read
🚨 My blood is fucking boiling! 🚨

If the strategy is "herd immunity through mass casualties" - - as it was in the UK and Sweden, for a period - - then make it clear that is the strategy. At least then, the electorate can evaluate the strategy, and there can be consensus (or not).

At worst the strategy can be called "ill-advised," or "stupid."
Dec 12, 2020 6 tweets 2 min read
Parler is Bill Mitchell and a handful of other crackpot right wing "thought leaders" chatting with a million Russian bots and that guy that made a meth kitchen in the storage shed behind the New Hope Mission Evangelical Tabernacle. "Follow me on Parler!"
Dec 11, 2020 4 tweets 1 min read
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
Dec 11, 2020 12 tweets 3 min read
The thing is, so many Republicans literally do believe that the concept of democracy is dead. I know a few like this myself. They are completely on board with fascism, though they don't call it by that name.

What were witnessing is the last, dying throes of the old White Guard. "Make America Great Again" was always code for "let's go back to the old days when a handful of rich white men ran everything and made life easier for the rest of us white men."

All MAGA ever really wanted was a return to white supremacy.