One of the most painful aspects of growing up is that we hit certain life or age milestones&are gradually deprived of nurturing&care under the assumption we no longer “need” them but we all kind of need& want some aspect of that forever & finding that in adulthood is very hard. The older we get, the less acceptable it is for us to need sustained gentle care from the world around us, but that’s not dictated by our internal need for it.

In my childhood home telling someone you were sorry was considered a v half ass apology because it centers you in the situation & not the person you wronged. In that house we preferred “I apologize” & then a recitation of specifically what our understanding was of the wrong done. “I’m sorry I <did x thing>” just talks about the discomfort you are feeling about knowing you fucked up. Which is not the point! I apologize is more outward facing. I stan a true apology.