Morally insane, legally unserious. Lived many lifetimes through different timelines. Romance || Comedy || Erotica
3 subscribers
Aug 15, 2025 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Today, inside Lagos bus, I met the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
Not Instagram beautiful. Not “fine-girl-with-ring-light” beautiful.
This one was naturally fine, with the kind of perfume that makes you forget your bus fare.
We were seated side by side.
Me: quiet, acting like I was reading my phone but secretly inhaling her scent like a goat smelling fresh grass.
Her: calm, composed, the kind of beauty that makes you imagine how your wedding photos will look.
Jul 13, 2025 • 22 tweets • 5 min read
THE FORNICATION BUDGET - CHAPTER 4
The air in the room froze.
I didn’t know what to say. My lips were slightly parted. My trousers were halfway down. Gbemi was on the floor with my penis in her hand.
And standing by the door, arms folded, eyes wide, nostrils flared was Tonia.
Her voice, when it finally came, was a mix of rage and disbelief.
“Ola… what the hell?!”
I adjusted my trousers instantly and took a step forward.
“Tonia… I swear, it’s not what it looks like..”
“Oh shut up! Don’t you dare insult my intelligence!”
Gbemi sat up, calmly pulling
Jul 8, 2025 • 28 tweets • 6 min read
THE FORNICATION BUDGET - CHAPTER 3
“Ola!” Tonia beamed, rushing forward to hug me.
I smiled and hugged her back, peeking over her shoulder to examine the plus one she came with.
She was fair-skinned, slim-thick, and standing slightly behind Tonia like she didn’t want to be
noticed, yet somehow was impossible to ignore.
“Good evening,” she said quietly.
I smiled. “Evening. You must be...?”
“Oh! Sorry,” Tonia jumped in, “meet Gbemi, my school daughter. We’re heading back to school tomorrow, so she came over to chill a bit.”
Gbemi nodded, flashing me
Jul 5, 2025 • 29 tweets • 6 min read
THE FORNICATION BUDGET - CHAPTER 2
The night air was still. Not even a breeze to stir the curtains. I stood at the door in my shorts and T-shirt, rubbing my palms together like a teenager about to sin for the first time.
It was Amanda.
Amanda Dabiri.
Our dear HR queen was in a
If you aren’t in my WhatsApp group where I drop my stories in case you miss them, you can join if you so wish. It’s mostly Locked and just my stories are posted there. Cheers.
My name is Olaoluwa Falodun, but in Lagos, you cannot move like everyone else. You either stand out or get swallowed by the yellow buses and black tax codes of this city. So, I stand out.
I work in the sales department of a real estate firm
somewhere in the buzzing commercial wilderness of Ikeja. And today, I was walking into the office lobby with a smile so suspicious, even our security man, Yusuf, paused his usual gate duty harassment to look at me twice.
“Oga Ola, you dey happy this morning o,” he said with a
Sep 7, 2024 • 14 tweets • 5 min read
So a couple of years ago, I met this girl and it took a while for us to get along because she was avoiding me thinking I was a bad boy. Eventually we met physically and we hit it off.
Overtime we became close and liked each other but because we both knew how fucked up relationships
were, we decided to be smashing and keeping it on a low.
Both of us were single at the time so there was no issues. I won’t lie, I was beginning to like her and she also confessed to liking me too. Still we did not date but we were perpetual sex buddies.
A couple of months later, I met
Mar 20, 2024 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
(Disclaimer: contains sexual content 🔞💦)
In 15 minutes, Remi was at my door. I had sent her a description of my room and as she knocked on the door, my heart began to beat fast.
What if someone else was with her? Or it was a set up??
Slowly I went to door and opened it.
“It’s me joor,” she giggled from the door and I opened.
There she was with a charming smile. It was then I knew that this was actually going to happen.
I led her in and straight into the bedroom. She sat on the bed while I sat on
Mar 8, 2024 • 15 tweets • 4 min read
So on this fateful day I wanted to get condoms because the ones I had exhausted the ones at home and I had a guest over. There was no way I was having raw sex, not after an incident I had that nearly put me in trauma.
I walked past the pharmacy in front of my house and headed to
the other pharmacy which was three minutes walk away, only to get there and realize that they didn’t open.
Ah!
My guest and I had already started making out. In fact, she had sucked my deeq and balls throat deep and we were about to do the “do” before I came back to my senses
Dec 3, 2023 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
Last year, when I was in the world. Thank God for salvation, something like this happened and it was totally unplanned.
I had a sneaky link in my area here in Ketu who usually comes for some vitamin D before she resumes work like 10am. She was staying with her boyfriend at the
time and because he usually goes to work very early and come back late at night, he was always too tired to make love to her. Don’t blame me, I was only helping him out occasionally.
So this morning, she came around and got her dose. Pipped her like a piper and she left for
Aug 10, 2023 • 37 tweets • 8 min read
FROM STREET TO SHEETS Pt. 4 (Day 10/30)
Oh sorry, did I say my girlfriend? I meant my friend’s girlfriend. She was Samuel’s girlfriend.
For somewhat reason we were close and this was because months before she met Sam, me and her lived in the same compound when I was squatting
We were friends with benefits for about three months before we ended it mutually. Samuel had seen me post her picture and bugged me about her.
I didn’t want to give him at first but after much pestering I decided to. I didn’t tell him that myself and Wunmi had
Aug 9, 2023 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
FROM STREET TO SHEETS Pt. 3 (Day 9/30)
What the hell does this girl want? How did she even find my house?
“Outside which house?” I asked her.
“Isn’t your house the two story building right across of the pharmacy beside the mosque and with a liquor store in front?”
hell” I muttered. This was all shades of creepiness.
“Okay I’m coming,” I replied and I went downstairs to see for myself if it was true. It was already getting dark so I was wondering what she was looking for.
I got downstairs and there she was at the gate of my building.
Aug 8, 2023 • 31 tweets • 7 min read
FROM STREET TO SHEETS (Day 8/30)
I ran the run of my life as I kept evading bikes and Napeps when I tried to cross because she was turning into her street.
She was walking really fast, as if she was in a hurry to go do something. I didn’t know how to get her attention as I got
Now is it that I am shy? well not exactly. I just feel it rude to walk up to someone on the road and engage them in a conversation.
All this was to change soon when I met Damilola.
Damilola was a very beautiful, fair, slim and curvaceous girl who stayed in a
Jun 2, 2023 • 40 tweets • 9 min read
I’m in tears typing this but I just needed to let it out finally.
The last time I ever saw my mom was when she visited me at my house for the very first time, last year August. I had always wanted her to come visit me. My dad and all my siblings had been to my place except for
my mother. So all through last year. I begged her to come. I was like “mummy just come and spend one weekend with me.”
She was a busy woman. She had my dad to take care of and her shop back in our house in Mowe to monitor. There was no time for her to visit. Occasionally I do
May 27, 2023 • 24 tweets • 6 min read
Over the course of time, myself and Jumoke began to get closer.
She told me of how she lost her dad and how things had been tough for their family. She was currently a student at TASUED and they were on break so she was helping her mum sell her plantains.
We could text on the
phone for hours when I am in the office and when I get home, I’ll drop by at the shop to see her and gist. I began to grow fond of her.
Even my friends who stay with me, Ibukun and Segun had gotten acclimated to her presence. They each had grown fond of her and occasionally she
May 27, 2023 • 17 tweets • 4 min read
The Plantain Seller. (Part Two)
As I closed the door behind me, I smiled. I asked her if I could get her anything again this time and she said she was good. She only came to fry some plantains.
“Oh would I love you to fry something else baby” I said to myself muffledly.
She went into the kitchen and brought out a bunch of plantains. I told her to excuse me that I wanted to go have my bath. I wasn’t comfortable feeling all sweaty.
I went into the bathroom and as the water doused my skin, I began to have a hard on as I thought about this
May 25, 2023 • 17 tweets • 4 min read
It was a Friday evening and I had just gotten back from work. The traffic from Ikeja to Ketu was so so horrendous. I was so tired.
I got home around 6pm and as I got down from the napep and began to walk to my street, my stomach began to grumble as I was hungry.
I had not
eaten all day because I was really busy in the office.
I thought about what to eat and as I walked passed a plantain seller, my eyes widened at the beautiful ripe plantains I could see on the selling platter.
“Goodness me,” I muttered.
I didn’t know that I had stood fixated
May 24, 2023 • 17 tweets • 4 min read
“So what are we now?”
She asked me as I disposed of the condom with was already filled with my cum and she rolled down her gown.
“What are we ke?” I retorted back to her as I was taken aback by her question.
We had just had a banging quickie in the kitchen of the apartment we
booked for the Ibadan wildlings hangout.
All through the 15 minutes sex, we had the lights off and the confidence we had that no one could catch us, well, the exhilarating feeling that we could be caught was enough motivation for my strokes into her juicy coochie.
Nov 22, 2022 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
Cornflakes: An Erotica 🔞
Good sex is actually hard to come by. The kind of sex that is exhilarating and stupendously breathtaking that even as a guy, after you’ve cummed, your dick still remains hard and you want to still bury that erectness into that saccharinous pussy.
If you see this, kindly retweet. Let’s go, shall we?
Nov 22, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Some girls are dating some guys who are using them right now and they think they are in a serious relationship leading somewhere.
Some can even the red flags glaringly but believe that the dude would change.
Oct 9, 2022 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
So I was at Osogbo, Osun state yesterday for a Band reunion event and I thought you know what, nobody is going to recognize here. All this talks of being popular and all, would finally die down.
I was fucking wrong! 😭😭
I was to meet one my internet junior sisters, lol yes
I have internet brothers and sisters.
So back to my story, it’s nothing sexual or erotic by the way so no one is having a boner or getting wet.
I invited @EnnieLit for the event and she told me that she was going to bring a friend. I asked if it was male or female and she said
