This is a telling thing I’ve always found about the idea that cis women’s needs and trans women’s needs are in conflict: only cis women benefit from this idea
If trans women really were potential dominators that needed to be constantly checking our AMAB privilege, we would expect the idea of a clash between cis and trans women’s lib to be used by trans women to harm cis women
Instead it is only ever the other way around. Trans women gain no benefit from promoting misogyny, but cis women benefit a lot from ignoring or promoting transmisogyny
I wish we’d stop acting like all TERFs are well-off white educated cishet women with class privilege, etc? There are many multiply marginalized TERFs, poor TERFs, and abuse survivor TERFs, and the key is that *none of that excuses it*
It’s also super common for TERFs to weaponize their abuse or their oppression to try and legitimize their transmisogyny
I understand the urge to invoke guilt by association or impute privilege, like “wow have you noticed how many TERFs are well-off white women with masters degrees?”
But the thing is even when this isn’t true, TERFism and transmisogyny are still wrong
I honestly don’t care if a trans woman athlete has “biological advantages” over cis female competitors or not.
I remember when a cis girl who was years older and much more athletic/skilled at fighting than me beat the crap out of me and I still got blamed for it. No one gave a shit about ~advantages~ then.
Heck, when DUDES who were much older, bigger, and stronger than me harassed me or assaulted me, I never heard any discussion of their physical advantages over me. Their violence toward me never got narrated as “brutalizing” or “dominating”
While ofc specific forms of anti-nonbinary aggression exist, I’ve spent years being really troubled by how often analysis that says binary vs. non-binary is a key oppression distinction also tends to be used to argue against transmisogyny being such a distinction
Consider the difference between “binary people vs. non-binary people” as a division and “TMA people vs. TME people” as a division, and which one is more broadly recognized and which one tends to be hypercriticized
This isn’t to say they aren’t both ignored or criticized to some extent, and maybe this is just my availability heurism, but my experience among progressive cis ppl is they have some sense that my being non-binary is important and no sense that my being TMA is also important
A large majority of feminists are just cultural feminists whether they realize it or not IMO
Cultural feminism meaning an emergent, informal style of feminist thought in which man-as-conquer and woman-as-nurturer as seen as natural properties, not as the result of male supremacy but the cause of it
The thinking here is that in some evolutionary sense penis people are designed to conquer and fight and vagina people are designed to nurture and birth and so violent societies reflect the natural value systems of penis people
This is what I’ve been saying institutional transmisogyny and cissexism are about: the maintenance of the heterosexual family as the primary social unit, and in turn the heterosexual family as the foundation of the white nation.
Political impulses don’t simply arise from irrational biases, they have a *function.* The important question isn’t what the oppressor feels as they attack us, what motivates them individually. It’s “what is the function?”
A psychological explanation of oppression is never going to help us explain what the political function of oppression is. How can transmisogyny be so virulent if it’s aimed at a group that’s 1% of the population?
I think I put my finger on the big reason I often feel alienated by bi discourse—at some point it feels like we shifted onto locating the core problem of bi erasure as erasing *validity of identity* instead of erasure of *the anti-queer violence already happening to you*
Arguably the essence of biphobic neglect is being subjected to danger like a queer person but being attributed with the privilege of a cishet person. It isn’t just your personal color or self-expression being ignored and frankly too much queer discourse makes it seem like it is
Intimate partner violence against bi women is a form of anti-queerness. Sexual prediction of bi people is a form of anti-queerness. Part of the function of “bi erasure” as a construct is the opposition to ideas of anti-queerness that say they aren’t
I get really tired of how often argument about misogyny in reader space or in publishing ends with the conclusion that we should be less condemning of cis white women and how seldom it ends with facing the difficulty of being e.g. trans or racially oppressed woman
This doesn’t mean there is no unfair criticism of cis white female authors or that this should be a taboo topic, and in fact it’s a very apt one about QUEER and DISABLED cis white female authors
But even that honestly tends to feel like a footnote in this recurring trend of misogyny being spoken of as primarily a universalized experience of cis white women not being taken seriously and very little anything else
I wish queer identity discussion made much more room for queer people who can’t and never could hide their identity. We don’t all have the option of passing as cishet until we choose to come out, and the erasure of that shows in construction of most queer discourse
This is also one of the problems with framing homophobia as “having a problem with who you sleep with.” I was in kindergarten being bashed for having a lisp and walking like a girl and the way I looked and moved. Had nothing to do with a behavior that I could have hidden
No one gave a shit whether I actually was attracted to guys or not. No one would have said “oh sorry I misunderstood your identity!” if I had tried to insist that I was really a cis boy. That’s just not how it works
We’ve talked about bad behavior and systemic problems in romance and Romancelandia—which should keep being talked about—but it’s also worth it to focus on what Romancelandia people do that’s good
Bree and Donna (Kit Rocha) have done a lot to make Romance space more welcoming for me since my first book announcement. It’s nothing forced or mechanical, it’s just being interested in what people are doing
We have bestselling authors in our midst who always take time to spotlight authors less well known than them and to spearhead changes in romance culture and it can make a big impact
One of the things I hate about the “romance is heteronormative” galaxy brain is that it cheapens heteronormativity as a concept and makes it seem like depicting happy relationships is on the same level as anti-queer violence
I think some people have decided that the maximal solution to heteronormativity is “straight cis woman ends up unmarried as an independent business owner” rather than love and relationships becoming parts of human life that aren’t hostile to queer people
It’s a very liberal feminist-flavored idea of liberation, in which “being in a relationship” is the thing treated as the core of heteronormativity and not, you know, violent gender norms
Okay so....this is kinda silly but I’m gonna do a little thread about the way I’ve been imagining how to design monsters, mechs, espers, etc, for my imaginary ideal SaGa callback game lol
The idea I think I like best for mechs is that they’re all about durability, are hard to damage and self-repair easily, but unlike other types they are more dependent on their energy pool. Instead of MP/jutsu points/waza points or such, they have an Energy bar
When they get to zero Energy, they go into “Power Down” which is the closest thing mechs get to KO, as they self-repair when at 0 HP.
Controversial but IMO “lacking empathy” is an ableist concept from the ground up and I wish I could encourage more neurodivergent people to not buy that this is a legitimate description of us just because ableist doctors have asserted it
I really dislike framing empathy as an ABILITY in general and I think that’s part of the problem, and ties in to how medicalization and the politics around mental illness historically represent ways to diminish the humanity of oppressed people
Some people have concluded that since autistic people and people with certain trauma formations (“personality disorders”) “lack empathy” then we should agree that empathy is a neurotypical thing and avoid seeing empathy as having value
Also, a bit delayed but let’s retread this: “non-binary AFAB women not being allowed to call themselves trans women” isn’t an ongoing problem in trans communities. It doesn’t represent a larger pattern of injustice. Trans women and transmisogyny being erased DOES.
We don’t have hate movements emerging that are about denying the humanity, needs, rights, and autonomy of non-binary AFAB people based on wanting to call themselves a term that conventionally means a TMA woman.
We DO have dangerous and real hate movements, and legislation, and gender norms baked into society, that are about demonizing and assigning villainy to and destroying the cultural identity of TMA women.
I don’t know how to engage with fat activism very well because my relationship to being fat and to the desire to lose/gain weight is very defined by my gender and how I am gendered
I think fat liberationists correctly point out that most cultural narratives of weight loss are infused with anti-fatness. However, I have strongly desired to lose weight for years in a way that I do not believe is motivated by self-directed anti-fatness
To be blunt, if I lost a bunch of weight in most parts of my body and gained weight in my ass and tits, I would be gendered in a way that was way less dangerous and less degrading
I feel gutted. This seems like a small thing all considered but I just found out my family cat Orion passed away today.
In 2017 my dad died. I went home to live with my mom and basically help her take care of her animals and help her and my little enby brother transition out of horrible depression and illness while being more or less forced from our family home
I focused on taking care of five animals for nearly two years there, animals who had been with our family for over a decade, and two of them died more or less right in front of me
One of the things that gets me about the “SJWs are so angry” canard is that it always misses how often this anger is on behalf of other people and their suffering
For example @ingloriousgigi is one of the most kind and gentle people I have encountered on Twitter and much of the time when they express anger it’s because someone else or people in their communities are hurt
Anger is a way to protect boundaries but it’s also a way to express compassion for and solidarity with people
This argument that trans girls and women are privileged for being targeted more—by individual transphobes and by the state—is a ridiculous cartoon argument that completely disrespects how violence operates and misses the point of anti-oppression.
Bizarrely, in practice the argument is that other trans people, all else equal, are only targeted less because of erasure, and that therefore erasure is a bad thing because it *checks notes* protects you from violence
Not only is this a weirdly self-defeating argument, it generates a bad definition of erasure because that definition doesn’t examine NEGLECT. Harmful erasure is a thing that feeds and springs from neglect.