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Ursa Mater Profile picture
Ursa Mater
@mamabea99351914
Raising a teenager, not a lab rat. Veritaphillic.
Jan 23, 2020 • 44 tweets • 8 min read
"What led to desistance?"

⬆️ the million dollar question, the most popular reply to my intro thread.

Obviously, many more things contributed to Filia letting go of Felix than I am even aware of... but what I can see from my limited perspective is a lot of choices

1/x my husband & I made about when to repress our impulses to act or speak, and when to unapologetically trust our instincts and enforce boundaries.  Figuring out how to walk that line of when lean in and when to back off in our parenting

2/x
Jan 22, 2020 • 36 tweets • 7 min read
Many requests came in for a thread that describes what triggered Filia's desistance. Before I can write that, though, I have to set the stage with our experience of toxic friendship.
1/x Filia was a VERY spirited and sensitive little girl.  As a toddler she was bold and physical.  Like me, her face telegraphed everything. Her words described a very precocious sense of her own autonomy.  She needed more intentional lessons in her preschool years on managing

2/x
Jan 16, 2020 • 48 tweets • 9 min read
This query was one of the first responses yesterday, & it's a particularly useful place to begin. Everything that went right (and wrong) has a lot to do with how I communicate...
1/x I am, by nature, pretty blunt and outspoken.  I've had a lot of teacher training, though, in how to talk to kids without emotionally escalating them or myself; how not to take kids' lack of social skills mastery (aka "bad behavior") personally.  When I look back, I can see
2/x
Nov 2, 2018 • 11 tweets • 7 min read
@FondOfBeetles @giyadas I'm American. I had a similar reaction. The Trump admin. memo is (predictably) idiotic use of language. But - I needed to get a better understanding of what the memo is so poorly attempting to address. Some things I didn't know about the BHO admn transgender policies: @FondOfBeetles @giyadas politico.com/story/2016/05/…
Basically, 44's admin created a document that interpreted Title IX in some pretty radical ways that conflate biological sex (legally protected class) with gender identity so that the latter should be viewed as the former.