ok but i rlly want more modern cultivation au secret genius wwx who just drops mindblowing revolutionary treatises and innovations anonymously under a stupid ass middle school pen name like yLlingla0zuxX comical plot twist:

lqr has a secret hobby ever since he discovered the joys of Online Cultivation Forums, esp one where he can scout for people w Marvelous Ideas and offer to help them formalize their ideas into Papers (or Horrible ones & send them better reference materials)

dadxian who has a tattoo over the long jagged scar on his belly. a tattoo which facinates 2 y/o a-yuan, who's been told that's where he sprouted.

(it's not. but it made a-yuan turn from teary eyed breakdown to starry eyed awe, so. whatever works.) a-yuan likes to look and rub the pretty tattoo-scar. and so, it has become a thing that if a-yuan needs extra comfort or has been especially good, he gets "tummy time."

which is nice and all when they're at home.

city boy jin ling gets grounded for the summer after getting in a school fight. he's sent to weird uncle wei's raggedy farm in the yiling countryside to 'learn some humility'

and WHO ELSE does he see at the farm? the same kid who got him in trouble in the first place! jin ling swears the animals are out to get him

jingyi is ALSO extremely bummed that the ONE TIME he finally gets to go to sizhui's cool dad's farm, he STILL has to deal with the soiled jin brat!

if wwx were a real public figure (like a legit science/physics geek with a phd who organizes science festivals/makes fun sci experiments on ytb) ppl would have a lot of fun making parody accts of him always mooning over olympic medalist figure skater lwj wwx complains that he doesn't sound THAT much of a simp, except his followers come at him with receipts

- videos of interviews where he brings up lwj unasked/unrelatedly
- videos of panels where he gushes abt lwj's quad jumps
- timeline-span tweets of his rts of lwj fan accts

[dragonji x ???xian]

Wei Ying stumbles across a crack in the pavement hard enough to jar him into a brief bout of sobriety. Which is a good thing, because now that he’s not stuck in a drunken stupor, he finally notices that he does not know where the fuck he is. Gone are the apartment blocks ridden with budget-zombies, dollar-store vampires and other fictional characters running around for candies. And instead of storefronts with cotton cobwebs or pumpkin cutouts, there’s only a stretch of tall walls on either side of him,

🔞
wangxian roommates in mutual pining, desperate not to shake the boat, but sometimes the horny strikes hard.

wwx waits until a night lwj says he'll be home from work before bringing out his trusty old vibe. alone for once, wwx doesn't bother muffling his moans as he edges himself to a toy and his fantasies.

today, lwj had worn a pretty suit that accentuated his broad shoulders and tall frame—it was all he could do not to jump him, take off his glasses and mess up his sleek ponytail

struck by the image of toddlers wangxian

where 3 y/o xianxian's little prank on a-zhan goes a /little/ too far.

you see, his mom taught him just how good of a creepy hiding place their linen closet can be. and he is eager to try it out himself. scaring a-zhan will be fun! (xianxian had screamed and nearly peed his pants but a-zhan doesn't need to know that.)

when they're all set up in the living room, xianxian pretends to forget something.

"we left lil apple in my bed, i'm gonna go get her!" xianxian says. "you hold down the fort, okay?"

ha ha imagine modern cultivation reincarnation au where wwx's reincarnation gets reborn in mundane society, later owning a pawn shop, and he sometimes posts about his cool finds/authentic items for sale.

one day someone drops the long lost stygian tiger seal in his shop. and look, wwx may not be part of the super exclusive cultivator society, but he's not dumb, he knows a few things.

he knows all about the history of the sect wars, the story of the dreaded yiling laozu, the massacre at nightless city, the siege of burial mounds.

clj got me thinking about what if lwj found the incense burner while looking for the wen branding iron, and after hearing the news that wwx died with no body left to mourn, he used his remaining spiritual powers to trap himself in a domestic married life dream with wwx my only issue with this being that without lwj, no one would care and raise for a-yuan enough for him to grow up as well as he did 😔

wangxian in a band/duo on tour, fighting and then getting together and writing songs over the course of said world tour, and then on the finale held at their home city, they debut their new song during the encore

and where there was /supposed/ to be a music break/ad-lib + wwx goes (still playing the riff), "hey lan zhan, lan wangji, lan-er-gege~"

"mn?" lwj, unsure where wwx is going with this but plays along.

"remember that night i tried to sneak into your house and got scared by a dog and couldn't get down from the tree?" wwx says on beat.