🧵I will never forget the time I went group skydiving and some guy in our group broke out a tarot deck mid-freefall and, gesticulating wildly for us to pay attention, tried to give full-on tarot readings to people in the group mid-skydive. 1/10 Once he got someone to float over to him to have their reading done, the wind took each card right out of his hands as soon as he tried to hold it up — and he'd mouth curses and futilely try to grab the now-long-gone card as if he hadn't expected this to be a problem. 2/10

I once rejected my own short story from a magazine I was guest editing. The magazine had a blind submission policy, and I didn't recognize the story as my own and forgot I'd submitted it months before I was asked to guest edit the issue Thinking it was someone else's, I hated it so much that I screen-shot several of its absolutely worst excerpts and posted them online in an attempt to shame the author and anyone else about to commit the same crimes