hello this is just a friendly reminder that while i’m very open and celebrate vulnerability online, i have very intense boundaries. i encourage everyone to be kind and tender with themselves but please don’t expect me or any other person online to connect with you in that way. because i work to be present and intentional with community and language, every single thing i read takes emotional (and physical) energy. i have a full and beautiful life outside of the internet that you don’t see, and i want to preserve my energy for it.

here’s the thing, i’m tired.

i’m tired because i spend the majority of my time masking my autistic behaviors in order to be more charismatic and fit better into society.

i do this because i spent most of my childhood feeling isolated and rejected because of these behaviors. now that i’m an adult i have a hard time taking those masks off. partially because i spent years masking, and partially because it feels too vulnerable sometimes to just exist as i am.

i like being liked, and i don’t like feeling “jarring” to people.