There’s a TikTok trend where you say something factual about yourself that nobody believes & I wanna do one but I have so many things about me that ppl don’t believe and I don’t know which thing to choose for the video 😂😂😂 Honestly leaning towards the fact that I’ve had multiple book deals to write about my life that all got canceled because I wouldn’t lie about the shit that’s happened in my life. It’s already been crazy enough, WHY would I lie and add shit that never happened to me directly???

Same. I’m 30yrs old & have never once had a job where I didn’t have to deal with racism, sexism, homophobia & Islamophobia. If I can’t make art my career, I am simply screwed Bc I refuse to allow abuse in exchange for a check.

https://twitter.com/justiceaudre/status/1399826976337186822

And yes, this absolutely includes the school that furloughed me. My goodness, I dealt with the most blatant racism & when I called it out, I had a director demand a meeting w/ me about “the ways you speak to & think about your white colleagues.” As if those same colleagues didn’t

Last year I helped a kid get some free legal services & paid for him to get a new phone & when we finally met up he greeted me by saying, “Damn you’re really about that life, I thought it was just an Internet thing.” Because so many ppl have huge platforms, claim to do mutual aid -yet they never actually help people. They help businesses & organizations, usually ones they founded/benefit from personally. So I was talking to a friend about how sad it was that the kid was used to being ghosted by ppl who offered to help him online &

Lol @ this company reaching out saying they wanna show material support Bc they’ve seen me tweet about being furloughed for a year without unemployment-only to literally Venmo me $0.80 and add a $5 off discount code in the notes for their $80 product boxes 💀 I just do not understand why companies keep contacting me on some, “We see you’ve been furloughed & want to offer material support/hire you for xyz-“ all for it to be lies???? What is in the water bro.

I’m exhausted with dreaming of money then immediately being consumed with thoughts of money as soon as I wake up. I’m so damned tired. Tired of crowdfunding. Tired of being contacted for creative jobs that don’t pull through. Tired of freelancing & not getting paid. I’m so tired. For the last few days, I’ve dreamt that my GFM hit $9,300. I will wake up from the dream in the middle of the night, check the GFM, go back to sleep, have the dream again, wake up, check the GFM, go back to sleep, have the dream AGAIN, wake up, check the GFM-

I feel like people aren’t donating to my GFM Bc they think I have “enough” to keep from being homeless again. This GFM is from last year. I had $7945 (minus fees from GFM taking a cut) to move, pay deposits/utilities, get all of my furniture & feed myself/cover other life costs. That…is not a lot of money. I spent over half to pay rent in advance, I got the cheapest furniture I could/borrowed some furniture from friends & I had to pay off nearly $1,000 in a gas bill that I wasn’t responsible for once I finally moved. I’m STILL furloughed bro.

I want to be doted on often. I want to get random care packages & love letters in the mail j/ because. I want to be served coffee & fresh food in bed. I want to have someone cook me a full meal & wash the dishes after. I want to be treated gently, because I deserve softness too. I want to be taken on a shopping spree. I want a birthday party that I don’t have to plan and fund myself. I want to have a dinner with friends where it’s not me cooking/providing everything at my own home. I want to be smoked out. I want to be treated like I treat everyone else.

Weird seeing tweets about Bo Burnham when he made my life a living hell in college after deciding to make me the butt of his joke about wanting to date a Black woman so he could tell his friends he “yingyanged” after 69’ing. For weeks I had yt men harassing me on campus. WEEKS.😐 He deadass started the show with, “Where are the Black ppl-“ and I was the only Black person in the crowd, so the folks around me pointed & yelled my name. He said his “yingyang” bit then would go, “What do you think about that B?” after each punchline for the rest of the show.

I keep having Black ppl reach out saying they saw my tweets about being furloughed & wanna hire me for freelance creative work, then they pull out/stop responding once I send rates and uhhhhhhhh…this is so disheartening. Especially since I’m undervaluing services Bc I need $. This has happened like 7 times this month AND multiple times last month too. Like, are y’all secretly hoping that I’m desperate enough to just work for free or in exchange for y’all sharing my GFM link??? I genuinely don’t get it.

I’m trying to get a refund for something I ordered LAST JUNE. I haven’t gotten any updates on the order in months. The company website “contact us” portal isn’t working & they’re not responding to DMs. I get business being weird this last year but also, this is ridiculous. I ordered a lot of stuff from them and it was an absolute hassle getting more than half of the orders to actually show up, now I’m trying to get a refund for the last one Bc again, I ordered it nearly a year ago & haven’t gotten the product. They said they’d send it 2 months ago!

I hate how hard it is to ask for help. I’m less than $2500 away from goal on my GFM & I’ve had multiple ppl ask me why I’m asking for “so much.” $11,100 honestly IS NOT ENOUGH because it’s for AN ENTIRE YEAR of living expenses. It’s *literally* bare minimum. Rent/bills ONLY. Like, how fucked up of a person do you have to be to tell a furloughed teacher who has gone a year without income or unemployment that they aren’t worth receiving $11,100 to survive off of??? Do you know how difficult it is to live off $11,100 for 12 fucking months?!

I have a beautiful backless top that I very badly want to wear with some basketball shorts & chunky sneakers and long ass braids. Basically the outfit of my teenage dreams but uh. I was paying rent & supporting my siblings then so I didn’t have money for clothes. Also I got all of the parts for this outfit from thrifting so I guess I still don’t really have money for clothes but whatever 😂😂😂