Shiv Ramdas Profile picture
Storyteller. Ignyte, Nebula, Hugo finalist. Work in @strangehorizons, @firesidefiction, @podcastle_org etc. Asst Editor @escapepodcast. He/His. https://t.co/tBGfy5kW9W.
Michael Beaton Profile picture Jim Lakely Profile picture Touareg Profile picture Alexis Kelley Profile picture Josie Profile picture 37 added to My Authors
11 Apr
Vice and this asshole are literally altering photos of prisoners including kids in one of the deadliest extermination camps human history has seen to make them seem happy to be there. HOW is this not already a massive deal???
I've spent years of my life studying what happened in Tuol Sleng and I can honestly say I can't remember being this disgusted in a LONG time. Those people suffered like few people in history ever have. Mocking their ordeal like this is beyond despicable, disgusting, disrespectful
Read 9 tweets
10 Apr
Was buying Chinese & this dude who was sore I'd told him to not wear mask under his chin decided to push past when there was 6 feet on either side to show me & he succeeded 'cause lid was loose & I saw how spilling hot chowmein down your shirt makes you a very enthusiastic dancer
I also saw that words don't always mean what we assume because I never thought a middle aged man jumping around and shouting "FUCK! IT'S BURNING HOT" would be more comical than tragic but it so was
PSA: Don't fuck with chowmein
Read 4 tweets
9 Apr
Please stop QTing that foolish af take from that lady claiming you have to say good things about Prince Philip or not speak, youre not allowed to reply for a reason and the reason is the account dgaf about your reply, just the engagement boost your angry QT will provide
You know what, don't retweet it either. every single day you walk past various people on the street muttering to themselves about their own problems loud enough for you to hear, you don't walk over and start fixing their lives, you don't have to fix her problems on Twitter either
This goes for every single one of these shock value tweets designed not for you to engage with but to enrage with & thus boost the OPs engagement metrics, lets stop being their product, it's time to end the targeted assholery as a short cut to boost online footprint economy
Read 4 tweets
8 Apr
Watching this NFL defensive player do an interview and this closed caption that says "sex" every he says "sacks" is making this whole video incredibly entertaining
"Coach says, that's our rival there, i don't care how you do it, get the sex. But at the same time you can't just worry about what everyone else is doing or be too focused on the sex or your sex stats, you just have to work on your hand technique and finish strong"
"People are underestimating me, dso I've got a chip on my shoulder, last year a got a lot of sex and they think its a one-off but if you look at my career, i've mad multiple high sex years, I've proven I know how to make things happen in this league."
Read 4 tweets
8 Apr
I announced that I'm officially becoming a Mariners fan and now dozens of Mariners fans are trying to warn me off and urging me to choose happiness instead, its like Liverpool all over again.
tbf 22 years after I became a Liverpool fan we won the chip so I have an excellent track record here. Not worried.

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
LISTEN THE MARINERS COULD WIN IT ALL THIS YEAR IT COULD HAPPEN WHY NOT US
Read 4 tweets
6 Apr
Baseball Game Livetweet Thread:

I shall be at recording my impressions here. I still do not know the rules. I shall not be learning them before the game.

So far the baseball game seems to consist of wall to wall ads that say Baseball Is Back but no actual baseball.
my god now theyre showing ads of all the mariners teams that won nothing before but still no actual team is there actually a team or is this some Fyre Festival franchise??
Read 72 tweets
3 Apr
Major scenes happening at the Neighbour Uncle's across from my parents, apparently he decided it would be genius frugality to use the same lightbulb on outside lamp in the evening & take it for reading lamp at night to save money but now he is unable to remove bulb & he is ANGRY
Apparently he has also burnt his hand because he forgot to switch off lamb before taking bulb and he is very hurt that nobody in family seems to care about it
Sorry, I meant to say lamp. As far as I know there are no lambs on his property, switched on or otherwise.
Read 36 tweets
2 Apr
The real takeaway from watching Avengers is that Thanos stopped reading economics in like 1798
Trying to imagine a whole subgenre of films dedicated to an superpowerful intergalactic being convinced that the world is flat and must be fixed because thats basically Thanos and Malthusian theory
Oh god, I'm going to write this, aren't I?
Read 5 tweets
30 Mar
So the Matt Gaetz thing is called Mattgaet, yes?
Only a truly considerate man would come with the scandal suffix already attached
No wonder he said he's gaeting out of Congress
Read 4 tweets
29 Mar
Finally got around to reading that DMZ editor's essay on who gets to claim identities and under what circumstances and ngl, I didn't expect it to bother me nearly as much as it did. I'm kinda angry rn.
It also does something I dislike immensely irrespective of context, which is create a false paradigm of mass exploitation of a system by alleged bad actors and then go to town as some white knight battling it. It's posturing, it's dishonest and it's complete bollocks.
I know many writers who could sub to places under specific identities but don't, because theyre super self conscious about the exact things this essay claims is some epidemic. People are self rejecting ALL THE TIME, so pls, miss me with weaponising their insecurities vs them
Read 5 tweets
27 Mar
This story is sending out some serious vibes
Some days you block the Suez, other days the Suez cockblocks you
All we can do at this point is pray for a happy ending
Read 5 tweets
27 Mar
PSA: I need everyone to know that the shipping company that once lost thousands of rubber ducks overboard that inundated the waterways is in fact the same one that owns the ship that has stoppered the Suez Canal and thats how you make your CV memorable to recruiters
"Do you have much experience in global shipping?"

"Do you have Google?"
"Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?"

"Still in the Suez."
Read 4 tweets
27 Mar
Every so often it randomly hits me between the eyes that I'll never see Irrfan Khan act ever again and I'm just fucking crushed once more.
Cherish the greats while we have them, that's all.
I remember when he was a guest at the India Today conclave, & his panel got delayed by 2 hrs because of a technical snag. Panelists complained, one spent an hour throwing a tantrum. IK quietly asked where the smoking zone was, said "tell me when" & left.

Just the coolest guy.
Read 4 tweets
26 Mar
Are we in the middle of some global Boat Mass Uprising or something???
You know things are getting bad when even the boats are refusing to be in the water
There comes a point where you can't ignore the evidence any longer:
Read 4 tweets
24 Mar
If you think youre having a bad day, spare a thought for the helmsman who somehow managed to stick his giantass ship sideways into the goddamn Suez Canal & blocked it into literal gridlock & is currently costing every seafaring nation of Earth like millions of dollars every hour
holy shit they brought in excavators to WIDEN THE GODDAMN SUEZ CANAL to get his ass out, this boy's sooooo grounded when he gets home
aaand this is the excavator they brought in to free him so our champ's gonna be free of this mortifying situation in....about 300 years?
Read 17 tweets
20 Mar
Batman :TAS gets a lot of love & deservedly so, Superman: TAS gets a bit less than that, also deservedly, but the real issue is that the animated Justice League still remains the most underrated superhero show ever made, its long form storytelling was up there with DS:9. Epic af
The JL:A had a storyline they started foreshadowing in Ep 2 of season 1 and paid off on in the very last fight of the entire series and literally everyone who ever makes a superhero show or just likes high quality ones needs to watch it.
Also lets be honest, Jl:A is the only Green lantern show with the guts to give us John Stewart, my favourite Lantern ever, instead of the usual Hal Jordan settlefest and just for that it belongs in the very upper echelons of the pantheon of superhero media.
Read 6 tweets
14 Mar
Meanwhile when my other Gran died her daughters fought FOR DAYS over her recipe notebook that nobody was allowed to touch till they finally decided to just copy the recipes down & so they opened it & found out there was only 1 entry & it said "Book that I pretend has recipes"
You might think this wasn't all just a decades long setup to have one last laugh at her kids expense from the afterlife, but to believe that you'd have to not know my Grand at all, she totally planned this exact moment & I bet she was kicked as anything about it all her life too
basically if my Gran had been in Westeros she'd have been on that Iron Throne running that shit in like 3 days flat
Read 4 tweets
14 Mar
For years I struggled to recreate my grandmother's recipes till I discovered that "tablespoon" in her recipe book didn't actually mean tablespoon but referred to this random goddamn spoon she had in her kitchen & all the other measurements in there had similar logic
The real generation gap of course, is when you ask Mom or Gran for a recipe & they go " OK now put some cumin" and you're like "dafaq is "some can I just get a number pls here??" and they're like "lol no someday you'll get it" and there's that some again, it exists to taunt us
Join my Patreon to follow my journey as I discover more such dark and terrible family secrets that were meant to stay hidden forever:

patreon.com/ShivRamdas?fan…
Read 4 tweets
14 Mar
The part they don't tell you about marrying an American is how careful you have to be to call it cilantro instead of coriander if you just want some leaf instead of like 40 kilos of dhania powder in your kitchen
Spouse: Do you want something from the store?

Me: yes, coriander

Spouse: cool

*several iterations later*:
Me: Ok what do I have to do to get the store to send me some coriander this time??

Spouse: they've been sending it for weeks, are you snorting the stuff?

Me: How the hell does one snort a leaf?

Spouse:....leaf?

*pause*

Spouse: Ohhhh

Me: Ohhhh
Read 5 tweets
11 Mar
This is about the nicest I've ever been in my life, speak for yourself
"The pandemic made me a nicer, more understanding and far more patient person" is not something I ever thought I'd type, but it's kinda true
Also it's like the bar for keeps changing, like when i first got on social media, I'd see people DRAGGING each other and in full on existential fights over brands and bands and shows, now very few ppl I know take any of these things that seriously anymore, maybe its just my TL
Read 4 tweets
10 Mar
Story time: When I was a kid there was this rando TV ad for shoe brand showing kids wearing em & running up & down walls & I was CONVINCED the shoes gave that ability & I SO wanted em that Dad saved up & gifted me a pair for my birthday.

And thats where the trouble began
Background: Ma was out of town to visit Gran, was coming back on my birthday, I still remember, 2 PM train. Anyway Dad decided that he'd start the bday off in best way & at breakfast gifted me the shoes & I can't remember having been happier. Dad was happy too. Temporarily.
I ripped that package open like I was T Rex at a meat plant & told him he was best dad ever. Then asked if now I could do what the kids in the ad did. Dad, still basking in the glow of being anointed Best Dad Ever, either wanted more glory or didn't remember the ad & said yes
Read 15 tweets