in trauma healing, all* roads eventually lead to preverbal trauma.

*I’m slightly exaggerating but I want to talk a bit about preverbal trauma bc it’s barely talked about compared to how influential it is.

the following is based on my own experience and that of my clients… preverbal trauma is trauma that roughly happened around ages 0-3. this is when we are developing language and record our experiences in “implicit memory”.

I've been wanting share my solo process for emotional processing in case it's helpful for anyone. I've been using it for the last few months and it's the most effective I've landed on yet but these things evolve so I want to share it while it's still alive for me... it goes without saying but step 0 is simply noticing that I'm triggered. sometimes this is very obvious, other times it's being slightly suppressed so it's not so obvious but I'll start noticing the signs. eg I might be spending more time on my phone or doing it more frantically

it’s been helpful for me lately to reengage with the idea that if there’s a pattern in life that I say I don’t want but it keeps happening over and over again, then it must mean that a) there’s an unfelt emotion I’m avoiding and b) that something in me is benefiting from it… I think this frame is helpful because it tends to loosen the guilt/blame/shoulding energy that exists when we believe we are to blame for the pattern continuing to show up.

I made self-love a targeted goal for about 3 years and it was the highest payoff project/investment of my life.

rough process:

- dissolve the negative inner voice
- rewire my brain / nervous system to feel safe
- become embodied
- develop emotional fluidity

https://twitter.com/nickcammarata/status/1312951308534521856

I reckon the “fast-tracked” version could take as little as a year 😄 my process was slow, with a lot of trial and error.

if I had to give a single pointer, it’d be to: “learn to fully feel your emotions”.

I was brainstorming on the kind of opportunities I'd like to attract in my life and I realised I need to first note down my beliefs about how opportunities work and how they find their way to us.

so I made a list of my beliefs around attracting opportunities and abundance: what you're good at, what comes easy, and what people need help with, people pay for. this is the lowest hanging fruit.

some reflections on learning how to rest:

(purely based on my subjective experience) I used to be the kind of person who would plan my weekends and bank holidays to be “productive” and make the most of my time, I couldn’t sit still if I was “wasting time”.
after my burn out I had to learn how to rest and it unfolded in layers.