Why you’re stuck in your comfort zone 

(and how to step out of it) /🧵 Humans are wired to escape pain and seek comfort. 

This trait helped us survive. It pushed us to escape cold, stress, and hunger by pursuing warmth, safety, and food.

Your kid’s device is NOT the problem.

My daughter was 5 years old when she started building a healthy relationship with her devices.

She did that WITHOUT parent-imposed screen time restrictions. Here’s how:

👇 First, let’s establish one thing:

There is no perfect amount of screen time. Sure, it’s probably not ideal to spend 6 hours on an iPhone every day.

But the issue isn’t necessarily the quantity of time. It’s the lack of forethought around device usage that’s driving your kid’s bad habits.

One of my daughter’s first phrases was “iPad time!” If she didn’t get her iPad, she’d protest relentlessly.

My wife and I knew we had to act—NOT by punishing her but by respecting her needs.

So what did we do?

👇

It’s time for you to learn how to complain better.

Frequent complaining is a detrimental habit that can—and should—be broken.

Why? Complaining releases the stress hormone cortisol, which negatively affects mood, reduces energy levels, and can ironically lead to more of the uncomfortable emotions we seek to escape through distraction.

So you want to write a book. Awesome!

If you’ve made attempts already, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that writing is hard work.

One of the toughest things is finding the time to write. 👇👇 Committing to a writing routine is ABSOLUTELY a challenge. But if it’s important to you, you have to make time for it.

Here are some of the tips and techniques I used to write 2 bestsellers:

One piece of productivity advice I hear that drives me INSANE is that if you want to be more productive, you need to learn to say NO more.

What kind of stupid advice is that? If you tell your boss ‘no,’ you’re going to get FIRED!

Here’s what you do instead: Rather than saying ‘no,’ ask your boss to help you prioritize.

After all, that’s their most critical job—to point to the things that are most important.

Procrastination is all about opting for instant gratification.

We’re terrible at being patient, so we choose to splurge for immediate pleasure—even if it’s not the best choice for our future selves.

Are we screwed? NO! Here are 3 ways to stop procrastination in its tracks: 2/ 1️⃣ Think about your future mental state.

How tired, drained, and sleepy will you likely be if you put something off? Consciously evaluating the dependability of your future self can serve as motivation to do the things you want to do today.

Common wisdom suggests the best thing you can do for your productivity is to say “no” more often.

At first blush, this sounds smart, but in practice, this advice often backfires.

Here’s why 👇👇 1/ While it’s possible to set boundaries around your work, you can’t refuse a task when your boss asks you to take it on.

In the same way, simply bowing out of a partner’s requests to share the household labor won’t exactly make for a happy home.

Here’s a better strategy:

1/ I want to be clear about something: when we talk about developing sticky, habit-forming products, it’s not about getting people addicted.

An addiction is a pathology. It’s a persistent compulsive dependency on behavior or substance that harms the user. 2/ While addiction can be the unfortunate byproduct of a product that’s engaging, as product designers, we would never want to intentionally addict people because addiction causes harm.

BUT…

1/ I fully believe timeboxing will change your life, but sadly, people often give up on it before they even really try.

Here are the 3 most common reasons people don’t timebox—and ways to overcome them 👇 2/ PITFALL #1 🤷 What-aboutism

People are willing to pay $1000s for courses and books on the secrets of success, but when they find a technique that will actually 10x their satisfaction, instead of giving it a real try, they find reasons why it won’t work for them.

1/ What can we do when faced with a distracting temptation? Dr. Jonathan Bricker, of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle, developed this set of steps: 2/ Identify the feeling or thought behind your urge.

When you find yourself about to become distracted, find the internal trigger that’s prompting you to do so. Are you feeling anxious, restless, maybe even poorly qualified for the task?

1/ If you want people who use your product or visit your site to take an action, design for it.

It’s called behavioral design.

Thoughts, choices, intentions, and actions can all be influenced. Here’s how 🧵👇 2/ Ethical design is good design.

Behavioral design should not be used to go against the user’s best interest.

This is about increasing engagement and retention, not creating dark patterns that achieve business objectives at the expense of customer trust.

1/ For years, I’ve shared the strategy of timeboxing in an effort to help people destroy distractions and live the lives they want. But people often ask me what timeboxing looks like. 2/ Here’s an example of a timeboxed calendar:

1/ Who can honestly say they don’t know how to get in better shape?

Unless you have a real metabolic problem, you have to eat right and exercise. You don’t need a diet book to tell you that. 2/ The problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do—the problem is that we don’t know how to get out of our own way.

1/Here's my take on the recent Facebook scandal involving research into the psychological effects of teens using Instagram.
Once again, I'll be fighting Brandolini’s Law “The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.” 2/Firstly, question the source when reading.
Remember, traditional media is in competition with social media for your attention.
People want to read familiar narratives like, "tech is evil" and the NYT and WSJ have an asymmetric advantage of publishing editorial in a way FB can't

1/ When you started your day this morning, did you consult a to-do list? 2/ To-do lists are supposed to keep us on track. But it turns out they do the opposite.

1/ Stop thinking about your bad habits! There’s a much more effective way to conquer your vices. 2/ In fact, we can take a page from JK Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

1/ Do you find yourself doing things you don’t want to do? 2/ An “effort pact” makes unwanted behaviors more difficult.

1/ What is the most powerful skill you can have today? 2/ It’s being "indistractable."

1/ Can we regulate social networks to curb addiction—without making them suck? 2/ I once met with leaders from Reddit, Snapchat, Facebook, and other social media networks to discuss how they could help curb social media addiction.

1/ Would you survive a desert plane crash? 2/ While earning my MBA, I took a test to determine just that. I ranked the most important items to help me stay alive until rescuers came, choosing from a list that included a gun, water jugs, a raincoat, and parachutes.

1/ It can be difficult to tell the difference between traction—things you do that move you forward in life—and distraction. 2/ When you check your work email on your phone, for instance, it can feel like you’re doing the right thing—even if you’re ignoring the person right next to you.