The conversation about the place of a good friend when a loved one is being abused by a partner is ravaging. There are many contradictory, ugly realities and all of them are true.

I am thinking about Elianne Andam, who was just 15 when her friend's ex killed her with a machete. A friend told me about being held hostage by another friend's angry, abusive male partner.
A relative told me about how a neighbour who was being abused would run to her house for shelter and the abuser would bang, bang, bang the door.