This Is What I Bring

1./ Whenever the topic of “What Do You Bring To The Table” arises, opinions are polarized.

It’s a thorny one.

Some of us take umbrage at the idea of being asked such a question directly by a potential partner. Afterall, “I dey my dey jeje, 2./ na you come find me. Therefore, what I bring to the table is that thing you saw and came to follow me. And what you bring to the table is that thing you believe you possess that you think is of enough interest to the person you perceive me to be.”

It’s Not Just Sex

1./ In many female minds, SEX IS CURRENCY.

I don’t know how else to say it, but sex is often seen and used by the female of the species as currency. It is the “legal tender” by which women may seek to purchase their ultimate desires. 2./ Consider 8/10 arguments about the interplay between women, men, money and relationships.

The most oft-cited female corollary to men bringing money to relationships is; “Why do you want to have sex if you can’t spend.” You rarely hear;

If you notice a change in your significant other’s friendships, ([a] new friend(s)who suddenly seems to have drowned out the voices of older friends); e.g. instead of referencing conversations with their 3 familiar close friends, it becomes;
“Bola says. . .”
“Bola said. . .” “Bola &I were talking. . .”

If Bola is a new entrant,&old friends don’t appear as frequently as before, pay attention.

Find out what influence the new friend wields over your partner.

Sometimes, it will be negative.

If you confirm this, do all you can to nip it in the bud.

When You’re Tired Of Being The Bigger Person

1./ My daughter is the only Nigerian in her class in a private school in one of the most racist states in the USA.

Her classmates hate her simply because she’s black and Nigerian, and in addition, 2./ although they are immigrants, her parents are successful professionals. This means she doesn’t fit the stereotype of poor, black, immigrant in need of white deliverance.

Her classmates use every opportunity to taunt and make jest of her.

Too Young
 
1./ My now 18-year-old daughter was telling me a story about her 17- year old friend who’s dating a 31-year old man.

It’s not ok.

The story made me sad because I’ve known that kid since secondary school.

She’s bright. 2./ Was an A student through secondary school and someone I encouraged my daughter who can be somewhat scatty to be close to because she was very studious. My heart hurts whenever she tells me the stories of that relationship.

Long Life And Prosperity?

1./ Long life can be a double-edged sword.

A 92 year old woman was telling of how she was captured as a young girl and sent to a concentration camp in the USSR (at the time).

She was imprisoned and kept in a cellar with a bunch of other people. 2./ Her duties in the cellar included pulling out and dragging to the top any of her cellar mates who died.

By a twist of fortune at 18 years old, she got out of the camp, met an American GI, married him and moved to America.

She had her 1st child at 19 and the second at 22.

I Formerly Known As X Now Wish To Be Called. . .

1./ Recently I was talking with my friend who lives in the US and sharing the challenges of clothes-shopping for my 9 year old daughter. 2./ My daughter hero-worships her brother who’s closest to her in age of all her siblings and she tries to do everything with him and do stuff the way he does things. 

This goes as far as her dressing. She is always filching his clothes or wanting identical clothes.

Excellence Is Moving House

1./ When a society fails to honour and reward excellence, it will lose its excellent people.

Someone shared an interesting experience.

Many years ago, there was a final year medical student who admired and was in awe of his cardiology professor. 2./ He nurtured the dream of training under his professor as a resident and hoped that in time, hopefully he would step into his prof’s shoes.

But one day in the course of one of their tutoring sessions. he noticed the shoes his professor wore.

Nigerian leaders are a shameless, opportunistic and messy lot who use these weak statements to prey on the minds of those who wish to be suggestible.

Rather than address the questionable antecedents of the people at the helm of our affairs, he’s discussing tribes.

https://twitter.com/parrticulars/status/1668619668830183426

If Nigeria was halfway working, will anyone notice the tribes of the leaders?

These people are parasites. Always looking for how to insert themselves anywhere.

If Nigerians wish to be deceived by charlatans in positions where they have power to command an audience,

Premier Gaou

1./ A long time ago one of my law professors was berating us during pre-exam revisions.

He said God gave human beings the useful ability to forget in order to help us wipe out irrelevant information. 2./ He however complained that many of us choose to misuse that ability as evidenced in his revision class where we seemed not to remember important authorities.

I think about that statement from time to time.

The ability to forget is good,

He That Findeth A Wife. . .

1./ A few years ago a friend told me he was getting married. I was excited for him. I didn’t know the woman he planned to marry. But after I congratulated him, he went on to say that even though he’d made up his mind to marry her, he had doubts. 2./ He mentioned several (to my mind) heavy red flags, but went on to say that nonetheless, he felt it was time to marry. He’d been with her for a while and thought he might as well go ahead. According to him, he wasn’t sure if there was anything better out there,

Are We Poor? Or Are Wages Poor?

1./ Our Nigerian minimum wage is pegged at N30k. An abysmally poor figure. Yet as poor and impossible as it is to live on that sum vis-à-vis the cost of living in Nigeria, and juxtaposed against the absence of social infrastructure, 2./ many Nigerians still don’t earn that much. In addition to the above, the actual percentage of Nigerians who earn a properly liveable wage is outstripped by those who don’t. What it then means, is that many Nigerians are living hand to mouth and a great many others are in;

Just Start

1./ A personal flaw I wrestle with is that I’m one of life’s worriers.

I like to see the pathway to the end clearly before I begin anything.

Sometimes I think that If Abraham was anything like me, the nation of Israel would still be an idea in God’s head; 2./ because I probably wouldn’t have moved to a land I don’t know just because He told me to.

Before I embark on a project, I look out for all possible pitfalls, likely or improbable and I may not move if I cannot see how I’ll get to the end. I’m trying to overcome this,

Lies! All Lies!!

1./ My daughter’s class had an assignment. A day before it was due she asked her friend how it was going, her friend said she was done and had submitted.

My daughter told her friend that she was running late and would probably need an extension. 2./ At that point, her friend laughed self-consciously and said; “Actually, I haven’t even started.”

My daughter was aghast.

“You haven’t started? Bu. . . Bu. . . But you just. . . You just said you’d submitted.” My daughter said she was so confused.

For Posterity, For The Records

1./ I wasn’t going to write about this, but too many people are minimising the events of Saturday 18th March 2023 and I feel I owe it to myself to put this down for the record.

When the story is told, in and among the other versions, 2./ I’d like to have this out there.

Nigeria will never not be interesting to me. We have a weird (& to my mind)warped value system that allows us to twist, contort & justify any action if the parties involved are “our people.” From pastors, to government officials, to friends,

Piercings, Culture & Life Choices

1./ My daughter was telling me about her day. For about a year she’s been toying with the idea of getting a piercing. She finally decided to bite the bullet.

2 interesting conversations happened around that event. 2./ The 1st was when I teasingly asked her; “What’s next? A tattoo? Meanwhile be gentle with your father when you tell him about the piercing.”

Then she says to me; “Mummy? You know that some of our attitudes around body art have developed because of colonialism?

1./ The dishonesty of those celebrating this seeming victory by APC is appalling. By all means, support the party & candidate of your choice. But if after 8 disastrous years of Buhari, people see the terrible rigging & violence by which this “victory” was obtained & celebrate it, 2./ it’s quite telling of their character.

If you don’t have the honour to admit that this is a stolen mandate, oiled by the blood of ordinary Nigerians, some of whom lost their lives in this process, at least be good enough to STFU.

Of Strategists And Advisers

1./ “This is a terrible idea Your Excellency. Involving the military at this time is the worst move we could make.” Hamid spoke in low urgent tones hoping he could convey his sense of alarm and the importance of restraint at this delicate time. 2./ His well-honed instincts warned him that the country was poised on the knife edge and that any wrong move would have too many unforeseen long term repercussions.

He was the youngest adviser on the team but he didn’t consider it a disadvantage.

LAGOS, Nigeria, February 27 - Which way Nigeria?

1./ In 2023 elections have still not evolved to the point where we dispassionately vote competence because we want a better society.

Aren’t we tired of being citizens of a country which despite having a surfeit of super talents, 2./ natural resources, and highly intelligent people are treated like pariahs by the international community because our country remains underdeveloped for no reason other than poor leadership choices?

When will we collectively choose leaders who don’t come with enough baggage

To Which Category Do You Belong?

1./ Nigerians are split into various categories. I don’t know them all. But I am certain of 6.

Group 1: those who have seen shege. People to whom Nigeria has happened and who have thrown in the towel. 2./ They are ready to leave & will japa as soon as they can arrange it.

Group 2: they may not have personally seen shege. But they know it’s loading and that there is enough to go round. They do not want to be here when it gets to their turn to be served shege. So preemptively,

By Hook Or By Crook

1./ First; “It’s only 4 people tweeting in a room.”

It became apparent that just as 5 loaves and 2 fish multiplied, 4 people in a room multiplied.

Next; “They’re only online. Online is not the real world.”Then the rallies began; 2./ It was clear that the clamour for a new Nigeria transcended “Online noise.”

Next; it was; “They don’t have PVC. They’re only making noise.” It soon became apparent that people were registering in unprecedented numbers across the country for PVC,