I stayed up most of the night reading about beta thalassemia, a supposed rare blood disorder that could be the basis of most autoimmune illnesses and I'm still shrieking, on the inside This could be the key to cure EDS, chronic fatigue syndrome, MCAS, ADHD, dementia, like so many illnesses I can't handle this knowledge, I don't know what to do about it except like wordlessly scream for a hundred years

illness has rooted in me, a mere fact. I don't perform illness or act in illness or invite illness to stay. but it's there regardless so much language revolves around having fault or being innocent and it seems lacking in this respect of embodying neutrality