When you communicate anything, you’re saying at least 4 different things. You’re saying something about (1) the content of your message, (2) your relationship w/ whom you’re speaking to, (3) your own identity & how you want to be perceived, and (4) your rules for #communication. Unanticipated conflict arises when one party talks only about one aspect of what is being said (content), while the other party is focused on different aspects (what’s being said about either side’s identity or their shared relationship). /2