since there is no paywall (for a limited time) I thought I’d make a thread of some of my recent favorite pieces for your clicking ease and convenience

here is a picture which I hear increases engagement first, a quiz to see how well you know your fake history! (and a plug for my book!) washingtonpost.com/opinions/inter…

my least successful Halloween costumes growing up, 🧵:

John Adams: not terrible but literally nobody guessed I was John Adams so my parents suggested I do a little spiel at each door introducing myself. at best, people thought I was mozart. A Hobbit: again because my costume was homemade I had to explain it at each door. I made a little Sting from glow in the dark clay! I also put on a lot of fake blood for no clear reason which did not help clarify my identity.

wow 'the man nobody knows' is absolutely iconic and exactly what it claims to be, a book about how Jesus was actually really buff and did lots of business "spent his days walking around his favorite lake"

Homer’s Catalog of Ships
Odysseus/Penelope
Odysseus/Athena
Achilles/Patroclus
Helen/Paris
Helen/Deiphobus
Helen/Menelaus
Achilles/Briseis
Priam/Hecuba
Hector/Andromache wonder what the Iliad fandom drama would be

this is still happening!! update:

why is everyone going on about the Teenage Love Triangle on folklore and neglecting the Coriolanus song cycle of “exile” and “this is me trying”

hey come back “And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound”
Coriolanus hates having to display his wounds to the people in order to beseech their voices to make him consul

i miss airports! that store with a bunch of print periodicals and gum and little bags of sweet and sour candy and nuts and overpriced waters! the beer place! the makeup and electronics vending machines! the This City themed shirts!

oh no I just discovered that the ruins from the last time I made caccio e pepe HAVE BEEN SITTING IN THE BACK OF THE FRIDGE FOR LITERALLY MONTHS
i either need to destroy it now or put it back until it evolves further and can help around the house I tried to destroy it but it bit me on the arm and escaped! now it’s loose somewhere in the house

decided to spend my isolation making TikToks summarizing all the books in the house

here’s Hamlet

happy birthday Shakespeare sorry i can’t tell if the sound is working here’s Dracula

as it was always meant to be delivered, in a halting monotone!

I think there are at least 50, possibly as many as 80 or 90 media people at this caucus site!! and that does not include the Georgetown students here to observe for their class on primaries
meanwhile there are like 100 here to caucus caucusing!

“the dance floor at this Tom Steyer event is heating up,” she typed
Icona Pop’s dance remix of When Doves Cry is blasting
Tom Steyer is taking a selfie with a handheld dog
we’re in an Industrial Event Space

a time to be alive!! VOULEZ VOUS REMIX
it’s like someone was told “throw a hip party but one constraint: the theme has to be Tom Steyer”

whom would noted Iowan James Tiberius Kirk caucus with? more options for noted Iowan James Tiberius Kirk

apologies to anyone watching the golden globes; I am seeing Cats and if I have any impressions I will share them they have knees

Q: are there any candidates from whom you would like forgiveness or to whom you would like to give a gift Yang will give Warren(?) a copy of his book “if you like data, this book is for you”

well this went terribly wrong Oscar returned from his evening constitutional and felt his stomach drop with a leadlike dread: in his absence the Beast had visited his hosts

still waiting for my candidate, What Appears To Be An Enormous Stack of Money Under a Series of Raincoats, to enter the race What Appears To Be An Enormous Stack Of Money Under A Series of Raincoats is the best hope of besting Trump

yes Proust Twitter today is the day now Sondland just needs to devote ten pages of testimony to describing an orchid as a sexual metaphor

“are you sure we are pacing this season right”
“oh one hundo percent no doubt”
“can you just run me through the events of the finale again? is there a fight? what stakes are we talking?”
“I’m glad you asked.” “so first there’s just a lot of very slow walking, and then a guy explains very slowly to another guy that extremism... is bad”
“does it take a long time”
“yeah he doesn’t get it at first so it takes an excruciatingly long time!“

how do I convince literally anyone else in my life to watch “The Terror”? It’s SO GOOD but my shouting “it’s NAUTICAL and there are VICTORIANS and there’s the chain of command, Steve! You love the chain of command!” isn’t working I’m trying again
“speaking of gangrene, if you like gangrene”
“I don’t like gangrene”
“there’s very little gangrene”
“...”
“there’s almost no gangrene”

I love the first three chapters of every classic horror novel that are just like ”although I am but a humble sea captain learning stenography for the first time, I am resolved to communicate all things to you, my dear intended” “Today nothing happened my dear Jonathan although I taught myself shorthand and there was a bit of foreshadowing I felt curiously compelled to set down here”