I am going to tell a little story about how I slightly fucked up on Friday, so other people do not fuck up the way I did! I’m walking home from the train Friday. a guy walks up to me on the street, giving the normal sort of speech before someone’s gonna ask you for a dollar or food etc- his phone is out of minutes, he needs to make a call. can I please make a call on my phone, & make it on speaker?

this is my Olympics

https://twitter.com/coopercooperco/status/1730043438710542488?s=46&t=HQFEfD9dMabOhQXq0myahA

i got bursitis
so you gotta play with an airhorn
it helps RIP to a beautiful king

It’s not just Halloween; it’s Motherboy These are my awards from Army, mother

extremely fucking good elvis video here ⤵️ cameras all shaky cause goose wouldn’t stop headbutting my wrist

finally watching the Britney doc and I immediately love the tiktok girl who identifies herself as a “Scorpio from New Jersey” Felicia Culotta is in this? I always loved her in any VH1 special I watched about Brit. clearly a person who loves her dearly

@FrankTweets I’m gonna send the slightly improved one @FrankTweets 👋🏻GOOD WOOD 🤤🪵 MORNING👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼CANONIZED ✝️⛪️COCKSUCKERS💃🏼👅‼️‼️📆Today📆 is 💥FUCKUARY 14TH💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID💘💘 is 💦cumming💦🏃‍♂️ for you⚠️‼️‼️ He's been ✊🏼YANKING✊🏼😩on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯shoot😩👅💦 all over you

glad that the last thing I managed to tweet out before being put on a 12 hour lock was Pikachu Hole bad site

tell me about a really stupid but really funny thing you did this year in the spirit of this tweet I just accidentally bought two transfer tickets on CT rail and now have to stand next to the machine to try to sell them to whoever has to go to Hartford next