My husband and I did an “annual planning” for the very first time, and it was a game changer for both of us.

We’re more aligned on our goals than ever + ready to attack the new year.

Here’s what to do: prepare a nice meal, grab a glass of wine + answer these questions: First, a quick look back on this year:

- What’s a lesson learned you’ll take into 2023?
- What do you want to leave in 2022?
- What’s your favorite thing about each other (important!)

Best way to get promoted? Advocate for yourself!

I’ve seen amazing engineers struggle to get promoted bc they don’t feel comfortable sharing their contributions.

Others have struggled bc they don’t frame things around business impact.

Best ways to advocate for yourself: 1/ All Your 1:1s

The first step is telling your manager what you’ve done + the work / complexity behind it. Work w them to define the business impact.

Then share it with ALL leadership — your skip, VP, Director, etc. They should know your name + your impact.

Giving feedback is easy.

Giving good feedback is SO hard.

I’ve coached many low performers and given feedback on technical + behavioral situations. Some didn’t go the way I planned.

But over time, I learned how to structure + deliver it well.

6 Tips I’ve Learned ✍️ 1/ Avoid compliment sandwiches

This way of giving feedback is outdated.

People don’t hear the feedback over the compliments, and walk away not realizing there was something for them to work on.

I’ve gotten feedback this way + not realized there was an issue for weeks!

I went from a new grad SDE I ➡️ Engineering Manager in 2 years

At a Big Tech co that usually only allows Sr SDE > EM

If you’re looking for a similar growth path, a few specific things you should do (beyond becoming tech lead): First, why it’s not enough to be tech lead — it’s a natural extension of your scope as an engineer, but doesn’t directly expand your EM skill set.

Many tech leads continue on to sr/principal engineers bc that’s where the experience is most useful.

To grow into EM, you should:

How technical do you need to be to be an Engineering Manager?

Most people will tell you VERY.

I think not. You can be an avg engineer + a great EM. In fact, if you’re too technical of a manager it could hurt you.

Speaking as a software engineer turned manager, here’s why: Engineering Managers’ primary responsibilities are two-fold:

1. Steer engineers to build the right things
2. Retain, hire + promote engineers

Let’s dig into the skill set you need for each one.

EM / PM Relationship

Most requested topic by far: The EM / PM Relationship

EMs + PMs are partners + co-leads of their team. But most EM / PM relationships sour bc of competing priorities + poor communication.

🧵

https://twitter.com/codegirlbrooke/status/1494135106021244935?s=20&t=aMXvtg_voNygj3i8nuJd5A

I was lucky enough to have AMAZING PM partners + learned firsthand how to nurture + structure the relationship for success.

To understand how to create a good relationship, first we should specify the role difference between an EM + PM.

Everyone tells you to “protect your mental health”. That’s hard when you’re an employee + not in charge of the situation or environment.

Recently I found myself getting anxious about work bc of multiple factors — morale, teammates, mounting expectations.

What worked (so far): Told my manager early

I didn’t wait till it got really bad, to the point I was burnt out. I told him I was starting to experience anxiety bc of these factors + foresaw it building w what was coming up.

He appreciated the honesty + ability to course correct.

Here’s the problem with 1:1s as an engineering manager:

Most engineers don’t come to 1:1s with set agendas, so it turns into you talking for >30% of the time.

🤔 As an EM, how do you make the most of 1:1 time for your direct report? 1:1s are the time for you and your DR to connect. Most managers use this time to ask about ongoing project status.

Or even worse, you may find yourself talking most of the time!

Leave project updates to stand-ups.

Create a 1:1 structure that lets DRs take the lead.

I've been an Engineering Manager for 6 years, at start-ups and big cos. One of the most important lessons I've learned as an EM is a key ingredient to managing well + propelling your growth that most people avoid:

💡Weekly Updates But you don't write just anything in them.

As an EM, you're managing a lot of people's expectations on top of your team's performance.

Weekly updates are the best way to update leadership, report project changes, and get everyone on the same page.