All of the secret little imperfections / character flaws you think you just haven't "fixed yet", that if only you could/did fix, would get u to where u wanna go

...Are actually completely fake. They don't actually exist - and your attempt to "fix them" is taking your attention/energy away from an actual target (what you want from life), and placing it into unfixable/unwinnable games

You don't "fix yourself then go get the thing". You "try and get the thing with everything u fucking have right where ur at, right NOW", and then the act of you going hard at it IS the thing that "fixes" whatever requires fixing. It's that "zero chance im not getting this" attack energy that bends your character/being to who you need to be to squeeze/wiggle through the cracks just long enough to grab whatever prize you're pursuing. The path carves you as you go. You don't carve yourself then go at the path.

The men you want to be like were shaped by the pursuit - and the exact way they ended up, if you could backtest their entire journey & see every trial/tribulation that they encountered along the way - would match perfectly to the shape of who they are. If you could watch the ball of clay get shaped throughout time, you'd be like "oh, I get it now". Every crater has a story. Every crater IS an impact.

Interestingly enough - Because of "muh self help", when I was 18, i spent 2-3ish years chasing ghosts like this. I thought I had a discipline problem, thought I was lazy, thought I had all of this stuff I needed to "fix". I genuinely tried to force my being to change, only to realize what I hit was unchangeable. I was a fish in water who finally smacked into the fishtank and went "ohhh. There's a wall here". Everything on the internet at the time told me to change, but I had this secret information that allowed me to know it was all bullshit. I was like "these mfs literally all retarded/larping".

So what did I learn? well - instead of asking yourself "how can i fix this inside of me", run a thought experiment and imagine you're "perfectly fixed", and have everything you need. Then from THAT point, ask yourself "assuming this was all I ever was/am, how would i get what I want ANYWAY? How would I work WITH this to guarantee success?"

That question completely re-frames your blueprint. U stop looking elsewhere and tap into ur own faculties. "what would I do?". And once u ask that, u find urself, for a second. But then once u get ur answer u go "is that right tho? i mean i just came up with it? and who am i? I haven't done shit?"

And THAT, most likely - IS your biggest issue. That little kickback response that you've conditioned to automatically say "shut the fuck up" to your own voice. Your own genuis, in a literal sense. That little thing that is so familiar to you that you're like "really? THAT'S what i've been looking for? Wtf?"

Yes.

The second u can get urself to stop swiping your own genius away from your own life & throw all possible weight/authority onto THAT thing, paired with a commitment to never allow external noise to move it, is the second u begin ur journey to your own version of paradise This is basically the "core gem" of my message I've attempted to articulate/communicate to the younger Grant's, which may be you. It is that voice inside of you IS quite literally the answer, but because there is so much noise around you that is currently stronger than your OWN voice, your voice bends the knee to the external.

Luckily, though - you can strengthen it - just like you're at the gym. You can increase it's VOLUME (meditation), and you can increase your CONVICTION in the message (obeying your own intuition - aka FAITH).

it is a process, and it's not easy - but it's nothing you can't handle.

The problem with wasting away your entire 20’s to doomscrolling, procrastination & mediocrity is you have to ask yourself “when are you actually going to be fighting the wars?”

When you’re fucking 50? U really think u gonna pick up the sword & sprint into battle with ur shriveled-up raisin-sack slapping ur kneecap as u hobble forward to slay the dragon u could have destroyed 3 decades ago? After 50 years of evidence of the complete opposite?

The “now or never” window is much shorter than you think. 25-50 is not THAT much time. That’s basically 2-3 opportunities/chances ONLY for a GENUINE swing.

Tick tock 25 is really the age where you have to be brutally honest with yourself and ask “is my current life positioning GENUINELY reflecting my grandiose ambition-narrative”

If you want to live a life of infinite backflips, are you ACTUALLY getting on the diving board? Are you ACTUALLY in the process of jumping off & learning? Or is it all fake? Is it all a pipedream in your hand - confusing & deceiving you until you let it all go as you throw up the white flag at 30?

At some point, if you’re serious, you have a very deep realization similar to something like “oh shit, it’s right now, or it actually won’t happen”, & then you go

Anything that isn’t that will float by you as a fictious fantasy, there to remind you of what you could have done, before you let it all slip away to the point you were never able to get it back

You are entirely blind to life in it’s totality unless you have a target you’re aiming at (a goal)

Without that single thing, nothing can be observed, because nothing has any meaning to it. “Oh look a river”. You learn nothing. But if your GOAL is to figure out something specific, like how good the quality of water is in the river, NOW u r learning a ton. What flows into river? Why? What cleanses it? What are other variables, how do animals effect it? Etc. you’ve zoomed in & now can actually study becuause u have a goal to bounce things off of. Until that goal is there, the universe is just meaningless randomness. Which way is forwrd? U literlaly have no idea ithout a goal, because it doesn’t exist. It can’t exist. And ur entire life is just “i do what feels good now” & “i dont do what feels bad now”. Literlly the same as an animal. Even a child has goals (to explore and have fun). Without a goal u’ve litrly DEVOLVED since birth. And this is 99% pf the population

Easiest way to start is monstrously obvious of choosing a goal u actually like & just actually pursuing it. If u can’t get urself to pursue it, u don’t actually like it. That simple. Ur intellectually cucking urself. Ignore mind, ask ur heart. What would be fun? Make THAT the goal, even if ur logical mind thinks its pointless

The funny part is it can never be pointless. If u genuinely pursue & try, even if ur logical mind thinks goal is retarded, u build the skills of the pursuit, which applies to any goal.

Figuring out how to some random shit lile planting an orchid garden or doing a kickflip will teach you more about getting rich than reading a book on getting rich

But most very confused & can’t discern fake from real. The way u “see” the difference is pursuit. “Sight” is a byproduct of pursuing a goal. Cuz if no goal is there, u cant see anything other than what others see, which is big blob of nothingness

It’s the goal that gives u the zoom. Its what gets u deeper past the masses. Level 1 shit, but most still on sidelines. 1 toe in game for real puts u in auto 1% Dip your fucking toes in

Show me your toes

The best possible skill you can develop is learning how to toggle your energy like a light switch

You should know exactly what you need to do to ramp it up & exactly what will cook it

You should be aware of “ramp up” periods where positive changes won’t take effect for 2-5 days to fully “settle in”. Or in opposite, being aware that things like hangovers have ripples 2-4 days later. If super hungover ur gna need about 4 days to be “totally back” to peak energy. U can still do stuff, it just won’t be peak. Optimizing urself depends on u being able to see this

Now the real sauce ur health guru wont tell u - even if you “perfectly optimize”, operating with your limited energy is a very dynamic dance. Why? Because due to spiritual connection to your energy - there is INFINITE variables at play for your in-the-moment quiver. U could eat only beef/rice+sauna & then open feed & u get hit with headline in ur spiritual achilies heal. Cooked

Most can’t open eyes to this. “Drink more orange juice” while they hate their fucking life. Metabolism is monstrously real and bigger variable than u currentlythink, but so is the “unsolved” BIG Q’s in ur mind & life

Answer is awareness + adaptbility. The “giftl” ist’t “i can force myself to do x to generate same outcome” (impossible)

It is “despite any new variable combo, i can achieve roughly same outcome”

Low conscious is “do muhhh same stuff to get muhh same result”

Higher level is “what do i have today and how do i use this info to win, with what I have”

Having ur light on + willingness tofucking win will outperform any routine, guaranteed

Win in spite of it all. And if that charge isn’t there, ur attacking wrong target. Peek closer to chest. “What would be more obvious?” Ignore typos, bad typer

What is tremendously more difficult than making money is refusing to ever compromise your own personal integrity

Many have sacrificed for the shekel what can never be returned to them. The real game has already ended for them, even if their bank accounts continue to rise

Success in life is not STRICTLY material. It is being a strong & powerful being operating off a system of undisposable principles, that material success comes as a byproduct OF.

If you didn’t force reality to bend around your own system, and you instead got on your knees & caved to theirs, it’s not truly yours. You’ve become a puppet in someone else’s game

The dream is to get it all, but your way. A true win is much deeper than what the world sees. The gray area comes into play when people who ARE actually hyper-principled consciously use the mirage of their own system as a cope to project strength where fear is actually flourishing. “Principled to a fault”, but the fault is where genuine fear resides. An EXTREMELY nuanced, hyper-specific discernment of where “fear/cope” temporarily has seeped into an organized value system, taking on it’s shape/color, but still remaining foreign.

The only ones who really ever know the truth are you & God.

Easiest way to cut through the bullshit is to ask yourself “If I died today, what do I wish I would have done”

Anything that then isn’t optimizing for THAT is quite literally a retarded usage of your time

Once you check that one off, a new one usually fills it.

Easy north star If you can’t clearly hear an answer, you have to fix your internal noise problem. Means u got too many internal loose ends.

U should be asking yourself a tremendous amount of questions. I realized most can’t because they can’t “hear” an answer or discern their internal voice

U have to build the skill of hearing this voice. Everyone has one (because instinct is actually language, and can be articulated) & everyone has instinct

I used to not be articulate. Then i practiced hearing my own internal voice by aggressive meditation, and the more you “hear”, the more you “see” & can observe

Simply sit in a room and pay attention to what you’re thinking. Just watch your thoughts for 20 minutes. What will happen is you’ll “forget” to watch and u’ll get sucked in. U may even just end up on your phone or in another room. Meditation is shortening the window for how quickly you can catch the thoughts when you’re in them & go back to hovering above. Just Keep practicing, 20 mins morning/night, and you’ll “hear” more

People conceptually understand that “time” is fake but they don’t see how that can be used to positively affect their psyche

Everything imaginable (literally, meaning if its not imaginable it cant exist) exists simultaneously outside the realm of time & materiality within the infinite fractal of imaginable things. There, there is a version of you now that has everything you want. There is also a version of you that has everything you currently want and is laughing at how small you played. All exist. These are “potentials” that exist within the realm of the limits of perception. U can only imagine what u perceive, so the limits of ur own perception = limits of that space, for us. The infinite potential of your imagination is waiting to be collapsed down into the simulation WITH you, but has to be commanded via genuine intent/ decision. It doesn’t need TIME, it needs “things to be done”.

ACTIONS get you what you want, but these actions are disguised WITHIN “time”.

There is a real, objective amount of dominos that need to fall in a specific way for you to *actually* get what you want. Once all dominos fall correctly, you have it. That is REAL, that is objective.

Now - you may be at a point in your life where not every domino has fallen. AKA u don’t have what u want. You think “i have to wait”, no, the domino simply hasn’t fallen yet. Once they all fall, you get what you want. R u understanding? Ur not “waiting”, a domino hasn’t fallen, objectively.

Do u see it? You’re not getting what you want through TIME, you’re getting what you want through ENERGY and DOMINOS falling. The energy moves the domino, and a specific combination of dominos get u what u want. That is real. Objective.

When energy finally makes every domino fall, you get what you want. It is that simple & objective. The (issue) is you are in a human body that has finite energy, and there is a process of dominos that HAVE TO FALL for you to get more energy. Energy generation itself is “dominos falling in a specific way”, and when they “finish”, you get energy. But theoretically every domino that gives you energy could happen at the same, but it doesn’t. Why? The DIMENSION you’re in.

If you are tracking so far, “Time” is not real, dominos falling & spatial limitations of a dimension, IS. When dominos following energy orders are “unable to stack on top of each other” dimensionally (because we exist “materially” in this dimension, but can mentally extend beyond it), they are forced to “wait” for the other to finish first (to get “in” here), and we call that sequential delay of the code… “time”.

When ur recharging ur energy, dominos are “falling” in your body. A process is operating. Code is being ran. A domino is falling, one after the other, that COULD all work simultaneously, but don’t, because of the forced sequentiality that us exisiting dimensionally creates. For something TO exist in this dimension, it has to “fall in line”, just to be perceived here. But beyond this dimension lies the infinite fractal, and the infinite fractial is where your IDEAS play, and your SPIRIT imagines.

“Grant, what the fuck? Are you high?”

high on life brother. Now - the “takeaway” here is that ANYTHING YOU IMAGINE, in a literal sense, can “be” in your own life. It just has to go from the infinite fractal INTO this dimension, which for you to perceive it, requires a “linear order”. 1 by 1. This is why we exist in a linear realm. There’s not enough “room” for all dominos to fall at same time within this dimension, even though the “whole” already exists outside of it IN the fractal. It is PERCEPTION of order, PERCEPTION of linearity, PERCEPTION of time, that is confusing.

But here’s the mindfuck:

U can “code” anything 2 enter this dimension. YOU can imagine something & make it “real”. And the MOMENT you set the intention and GENUINELY DECIDE is the moment the code starts plugging it all in, 1 by 1, disguising ITSELF as “time”. If every domino for your dreams fell right now, you’d have your dreams. That simple.

Issue is there isn’t enough upwards layering space in our dimension. Imagine a 2-dimensional line of people. Those people can’t go ABOVE other people, because they are “stuck” dimensionally. They can only go “around” those people on a 2D plane.

Now - in both situations - the infinite fractal exists. The 2D people can think to themselves “man, i gotta go around this faggot”, but the can’t jump OVER him. In this dimension, we can go OVER people, but we can’t “layer” upwards dimensionally (as far ss we know), and THIS LIMIT is what is perceived as time. The fractal is infinite & all reactions simultaneously, but the issue is “fititng it in” to the 3D. But technically “WHEN YOU DECIDE, it’s already done”.

This is largely IMO why “‘magic” is real & any dude who’s gone thru shit used terms like “God”, “intelligent design”, “nature”, etc

It is because “they” almost didn’t do anything. They coded the reality & just held intent long enough “aka waited” for the sequentiality to finish processing.

Things are much weirder than we currently believe or have modeled. The limits quite literally ARE your imagination, because only what you can imagine can be coded into existence. The infinite fractal has a larger, “infinite” imagination, but for us, all if it is limited dimensionally except for the tiny little spec of nothing that we can actually perceive. A sand pebble on infinite beaches

How to make infinite banger content:

1) Know what you’re talking about
2) Give zero fucks

What most people do:

1) Zero idea what they’re talking about
2) Give monstrous fucks

Pull a normie 180 Then once you’ve committed to giving zero fucks just simply post what you wish you saw posted

“If all the content you see is monstrously gay & retarded, be the content you wish to see in the world” - Gandhi

The craziest normie concept that I can still never wrap my head around is “i hate it, so therefore i’ll do nothing about it”. Astronomically retarded.

U can just leave anything. Nobody is forcing you to work. Nobody is forcing you to date a bitch. Nobody is forcing you to live in a shitty place.

With even the tiniest modicum of creativity you can life design your way to a micro version of the dream life you see in your mind’s eye.

Let’s say you hate your fucking job, you hate your triple-vaxxed bitchy gf who’s eyelids have now stopped functioning, and you hate living in bloomfield missouri.

Step 1) dump her. Completed.

Step 2) - why do I hate my job and where I live? What SPECIFIC variables are affecting me?

You realize you feel no meaning for what you are doing & you hate the cold. Okay, fucking amazing.

Because you have basic pattern recognition, know your brain will convince itself it has meaning if the people around you aren’t fucktarded. So job is less important than location. Boom. You’ve prioritized. So you look for sunny spots FIRST because that as an EASIER solve than a job.

Miami? Nah, too many soulless bimbos
LA? Nah, too many quad-vaxxers
Vegas? Oohh, maybe. But nah.
Rottenstone arizona? Oooh yes!

Now you know you want to live in Rottenstone. Great. So now you can either go IN PERSON job or remote job

“Well i won’t know anyone, so maybe in person”. Oh shit. We’ve GOT A PRO LIFE DESIGNER HERE. BRO IS LAYERING PURPOSES IN REAL TIME. Great. Now what the fuck do u wanna do daily there? Design what your day looks like at the ground level. U wanna walk to a gym? Choose near gym. U wanna walk to golf course? Go there. Maybe you work AT the gym?

The SIMPLEST act of running your life through BASIC life design sequences will make your life & psyche 100000x more tolerable

And it ALL starts…

with cutting the bitch off.

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

- Proverbs 21:9 “Capitalism is forcing me to work!”. Nope. Wrong attribution. Capitalism requires things to be PAID FOR. YOU are forcing YOURSELF to work.

Guess who never created a personal system to save any money? Guess who never increased their earning power? Guess who never controlled their expenses? Guess who is ACTIVELY keeping the financial chains ON THEMSELVES?

🫵

Highest leverage emotional skill is realizing you can just consciously decide to view things differently. More positively, less scary, more beneficial, in a way that makes you actually like it

You’ll catch yourself trippin about something for no reason other than you’ve tripped about it in the past. You then pop out of the haze, realize you don’t really actually give a fuck, and decide it’s going to be a non-factor in your life moving forward

I re-frame many of these weekly. Hard to put into words how many old micro threads pop up and make you feel something that you would never consciously feel about it now. But because that’s what you previously felt, that is now what you’re fed

Your emptional world is a series of hundreds of programs that require continual auditing & updating. If your emotional world isn’t serving you, try & dive in & re-frame whatever seems to be a nagging loose end that subtly sucks your energy

On top of this process is also the perspective of “i don’t care how I feel”. Instead of getting caught in the weeds of emotion, you can decide to let them do what they’re going to do as you operate quietly above it all. Captain of the ship regardless of state of the waters

You can’t fullt control your emotions (you can hedge/contain them tona certain degree by becoming aware of/adjusting environment they are existing in) but you can control your reaction/perspective to the emotion & the feeling that it generates

And that is good start👍 “ah i’m stressed about this interview/test/moment”

Wait, i actually don’t give a fuck. Str8 insta-coolin.

Is actually that simple. Most things genuinely that deep.

99% of men walk around in a permanent haze of “i’m not successful and i can’t do anything until I am!” force field of self-hatred and anti-flow comparison. Never fucking ends for them. Life just keeps getting put off as their energy gets wrecked taking monstrous self-generated energetic walls to the face forever

“I made x amount but x made y amount ao i gotta lock in and get there!!!!”

I think most dudes can feel the inversion of this but don’t understand why its there or how unnatural it is. When baseless targets on other’s scoreboards = YOUR goal, it’s already over. You radiate cucked energy, and any RN will be able to smell it. U can fool retards and women, but not competent men. The aura always does the speaking

Especially on these corners of twitter, there is this spiritual obsession with notch hitting, but not in a masculine way. In an extremely feminine way, becauae the “thing” is the target itself instead of it being a by-product of mastering the process

There is process mastery (straight) & then there is targeting/constructing/orrchesttating the “illusion” of the end product, without the core point of it all, which is process mastery. I don’t really have a word for what this is, but I see it ALL of the time, and it is repulsive There’s an “edge” that never gets healthily developed in these men without leaning into process mastery

There’s “something missing”. You don’t trust the guy because you can see the specific threads of weakness. Where he can be compromised. The insecurity/avoidance is the God, and it gets served over & over again in very strange performative ways. All just to avoid being the real thing

You are already what you’re going to be

You just haven’t found the lane yet Top of your mountain feels exactly the same with just a couple almost invisible tweaks. So small that really only u could register them cuz u r urself

Kinda funny how it works. Same u, new view

Hierarchy of energetic contributors/destroyers (in order):

#1 - The directionality of your life (are you going towards where you want to go (aligned with your heart) & doing what you want to do)
#2 - "correct lane" obligations (are your obligations in life sitting on threads of your strengths, not weaknesses)
#3 - Life perspective - are you in love with life & do you romanticize the mundane
#4 - Same-depth ear - is there someone that understands you when you express fully, without limiters
#5 - Food - are you eating the correct amount of the right foods (Not too little, not too much)

A lot of people are looking for energy in an orange to make up for the fact that they hate their life Many people confuse objective directionality with subjective perspective

There are very objective things in this world, and many of them are non-physical

Objective non-physicals are extremely difficult for normies to grasp & work with

I always get early 20’s dudes spazzing out at some grandiose mystical life path decision. They have it framed like it’s biggest decision ever

What u choose actually matters 0%. What is more important is the decision u make after u choose (to continue becsuse you like it or to cut it because you don’t).

View your life as experiments. Instead of framing a directionslity decision as some mammoth & complex thing, just create a “want to try this within the year” list & start attacking it while giving zero fucks. That will give u all answers while removing wasted energy creating & dealing with pointless/baseless pressure. Realize it is fake pressure. Not real. Nothing of substance supports it. Entirely fake & gay Everyone who’s “stuck” has actually already chosen in their soul. The DELAY comes from them resfusing to accept the decision/answer that they’ve actually chosen. And waiting for permission

Just do shit first & think/worry second. Act off ur intuitive “dis sounds like muh fun” & then get rational as u have groundspeed

I love niche businesses

Bought golf clubs yesterday & needed to send them to the US. Did some resesrch & found a company that literally just ships golf clubs all over the world in these exact situations

They came & picked them up & handled everything for $300

We need more of those types of businesses. Solve a niche problem that you want to see in the world, really well. Ver sinpel Is also always an insane realization when u realize the niche is just your own life

Original guy loved to travel and buy clubs and was annoyed with sending them. There was no solution. He created it.

Can replicate in whatever weird niche life problem u have as well. If u would pay, they would pay

Agree with lack of vision but completely disagree with timelines. Anything beyond a 3 month plan is a complete fucking guess for 99.9% if they were being honest. It just becomes unnecessary delusion

Also severely limits ur upside IMO. U can’t predict the J curve or know when it will hit for you - and a j curve hitting is when shit actually changes. U can be broke 4 yrs staight then retard ur way into 5 M’s in the final minutes of the 4th quarter. Life works very nonlinearly & rejects all fake timelines. U can really only focus on inputs + directionality + serendipity & do all that u fucking can & then be ready to hold the fuck on when the rocket ship finally & randomly starts taking off without much of your own doing. God determines when - u can only control urself

It’s also weird cuz ur biggest jumps are you but also not you. U just sort of exist near them long enough to catch one & then have the commitment to refuse to let go no matter what when the train leaves the station I think having extended flags in the sand is a good thing but I don’t place timelines on them, it’s moreso an end result that I want

I then focus on what i’m doing to get it, try to maintain honesty with myself, and have eyes open enough to allow momentum + serendipitiy to work in my favor until a couple big dominos start falling for me

Your body will expend effortless amounts of infinite energy defending what you believe to be true

But will fight you tremendously hard when you begin exerting energy to seek information that proves what you know isn’t true

Your body will expend effortless amounts of infinite energy when hot girl is coming over & ur room is a mess (to clean it)

But will fight you tremendously hard when you want to clean it after work on a random Tuesday

Calories are not all built the same. Ur brain controls the valve, and necessity is the purest catalyst to getting action to spontaneously blossom out of you

But consciously creating necessity is really only reserved for the psychos. Normies won’t come anywhere close to it, and most others will try to create necessity but won’t *actually* do it. They will hit threads in every direction around the real 1, but won’t actually drop the stone on the actual tripwire

And that is why many successful people are interesting versions of insane. Because they chose to play the puppet that dropped the stone on the tripwire of the forbidden thread, or somehow were born in a situation where it was already pressed upon

Going against ur lowest self is not easy. But those who got what they wanted didn’t choose ease. They chose to play the game, jump into the chaos & observe the show What is funny is these people are only “insane” in the normie worldview

To THEIR worldview, it is completely common sense.

“The only way i’ll get myself to do what I want is to drop the stone on the tripwire…so why tf wouldn’t I drop it?”. Completely obvious no-brainer

Completely opposite psyche from a normie. *Literally* 180 out. Unfathomable to most, obvious to high achievers

Ultimate lane(s) for you = ones where you view the “losses” in that game with genuine curiosity. U don’t view them as L’s, u view them as opportunities to learn more about whatever the fuck it is u wanna learn

If you’re a lover of life, there are unique threads of hyper-specific games that will magnify & pull this passion for living out of you. “Flops” cease to exist. “Losses” lose definition. It’s just you, the wide open lane, and allotted time/capital to experiment/play. Monstrous thrill in coloring in the barren unknown with a working mental model that allows u to consistently bend reality to how u want it. Pure bliss. Can’t wait to explore it, test it & learn more. Can’t wait to see how it actually works. Can’t wait to get good at it. Can’t wait to struggle through the errors towards the wisdom

If u enjoy something enough, every error is naturally viewed as a blessing, because on the opposite side of that error is the data that has just givdn you the chance to learn

Example:

Was @ driving range & got into convo with a random dude because he said he liked my bag. We were chatting & hitting. I then giga-hooked a drive right into the net on the left side, and at the exact same time, he goes “ah that sucks” as I say “FINALLY” with a grin. Then we both started laughing.

I then explained to him that my goal for that session was to start the process of fixing that exact giga hook. And i couldn’t fix it until I finally created it / felt it, and could start figuring out which variables lead to that specific result in my own swing. I was actually very excited to see that hook because i was trying to fish it out of myself for 3-4 shots - even though externally it was an “objectively terrible shot”. But my orientation wasn’t on perfection, it was on trying to bring what needs correction to the surface, which tends to be very externally ugly process

I used a golf example here but this applies to business as well. There will be models that make u wanna kill urself (literally), and models that make u so advantaged to succeed in purely because of how you view it & what u like to do - that it’s laughable. And because u like it, u’ll rep it out & master it with what can potentially be almost unfathomable levels of less “bad resistance”

Ur body already has the directionality map built in. It’s showing u where to go based on what feels right, assuming you’ve tuned it to optimize for playing your own game. “Knowing where to go” is an amalgamation of 100 micro feelings that are very nuanced. Combined together they are a macro feeling that you never FULLY master, but get closer & closer to “getting right”

If you keep genuinely trying to get it right, then by late 20’s you are universes AHEAD of your early 20’s self on deciding these things via your own pursuit, but ironically these games look exactly like what you already knew to be true a decade ago.

To the undiscerning this “i ended up where I began” process looks like zero progress, but it’s not. They are neglecting the working mental models (both emotionally - to correctly categorize the sheer variations of internal certainness + pragmatically - when one of these less-than-optimal varations is acted upon) & it is these mental models that solidfy yourself within yourself even more. I used to think this was a “bug” until i truly saw how it is in fact a feature.

The curious need to scratch the itch for ultimate conviction to set in. If not scratched, and there is something acting as an open loop, conviction will only max-revv at like 90%. And any man who values competence will genuinely hate that - because he can feel that 10% of drag wrecking perfection. So then the itch is scratched, the mental model is built, 100% conviction steps in, and he is now able to enact his own greatness while being objectively closer to himself, even though externally he’s “in the exact same place he used to be”. But it’s not the same place, because he’s not the same man

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man” - Heraclitus

Started walking more (10-20k steps/day) & began to feel the lymphs release harder in sleep. U feel it through the mouth/tongue, is unique taste/feel that u eventually learn to identify.

After walking a bunch I felt this mechanism get ramped up (moreso than lifting or sports ever did). Had thought “walking is the core mechanism that gets them to drain, because the are going harder now than any other exercise i’ve done”

Then realized that they are in perfect spots to be “shaken up” via walking. Armpits (arms move while walking), knees (extend while walking), collarbone (rotates when walking). Interesting part is extended walking gets them to drain harder than any other intense exercise

The “epiphany” was “oh, they are designed to drain/cleanse from walking”. Seems monstrously obvious as I write this & there is probably multiple papers written about this but it all just connected together in my brain from personal experience

Go on more walks Easy way to learn to identify this feeling is get lymph massages (or watch a video on how to massage your own) & then pay attention to what you taste / feel in the mornings after they release in sleep

Eventually you’re able to basically gauge how “toxic” something is TO YOU by how aggressive the lymphs go after you rest

By far the craziest “catalyst” of this i’ve experienced is extended walking. Almost Goes harder (it might even go harder) than lymph massages

If you replaced every excuse you ever make with the core question(s) of “how is this problem resulting from a leadership issue on my end & what can i do right now to patch up this problem, no matter how poorly?”

You’ll 10x your life in 12 calendar months.

Take your power back.
You are larger than any problem. You’ll also be very surprised at how much lower the quality of solution requried IS to “solve the problem well enough to get you to the next problem” then what you’ve built it up to in your mind to be

Patch, go, patch go, then make better as you see obvious opportunities to do so

Exploding your life & freeing yourself is ironically infinitely less effort than holding all the shit you hate & despise together

The former is 1 conversation away. The latter is a lifetime of perpetual energetic exhaustion

if u don't like ur life, realize how monstrously fucking hard u r going at sustaining it. U r actively catching all the pieces, gluing them together, being neurotic about them falling back off, catching them when they fall again, etc. Genuinely heroic amounts of perpetual exhaustion to maintain the cell walls of the prison that you bang on & cry over at 1:31 am.

When u truly see this, u'll just laugh The problem is the invisible forcefield of FEAR that is wrapping & entrenching you in this slave-life of perpetual infinity labor

"just quit"
"just end it"
"just bail"

You: "i can't"

What you falsely think is real & supports the "can't" = where the dagger needs to pierce