I wrote a little thing about the Birdfy Nest for HTSI last year, but could only attest to its functionality as a gadget, cos you can’t MAKE birds nest in your smart bird box, can you. I ended by saying that I was looking forward to the blue tits moving in. Anyway, this weekend… WE HAVE AN EGG WE HAVE AN EGG. Tremendously exciting, all this.

There’s been a bunch of stuff written recently about British musicians going to Europe and having to complete a carnet, essentially proof that you’re not exporting or importing instruments. It costs hundreds of pounds and it’s really annoying. 1/ “But why do we need this accursed carnet?” wail a generation of touring musicians. “It’s obviously our stuff! Our personal belongings? What’s the problem?” 2/

25 years ago this week, me and my partner at the time, Erika, decided to buy a computer and get a thing called THE INTERNET. We made our way from our flat in SE1 to Essex, and bought a Performa 630 from a guy who sold used Macs from his mum's bedroom. 1/4 We lugged the mac, modem and monitor back on the train to Liverpool Street and thence on the tube to Borough. A woman smiled at us and said "You've got a Mac!" Within a couple of days we had a Demon Internet account and we were up and running. How exciting it all was! 2/4

Can I do a recipe on here? Is that alright? I make this vegetarian Indian thing once in a while, and it always blows our minds. The stars of the show: a pack of paneer, a pack of mushrooms, some frozen peas. More promising than it sounds. Cut up the paneer into cubes and fry it in vegetable oil until it’s golden. Get the cubes out and drain them on kitchen paper.

Hey! Is everyone looking forward to sleeping in their own beds for a change? Nah, me neither. Millions of us who relish our families' unique attempts at Christmas hospitality are really missing it right now. #duvetknowitschristmas [preamble 1/9] This is the tenth year that people have sent me pictures of their claustrophobic, chaotic but undeniably festive Christmas sleeping arrangements. However, as you'll have noticed, this year feels a bit different. #duvetknowitschristmas [preamble 2/9]

This is a thread of interest to barely anyone, but that’s what Twitter’s all about, right? So, this is my bassoon. I’ve had it for 30-odd years. I don’t play it very often because there’s not much call for it. 1/5 But occasionally I get it out of its case and have a little tootle. 2/5