i'm looking at the 'Indian Residential School Research Group' website, it is something. this goes against my rule of ignoring this kind of thing, but i wanted to do a bit of an investigation.

CW: IRS denialism, racism, transphobia.

a thread of thoughts and observations first of all, to my indigenous relations, don't do it. don't look at the website. go do something much better with your time. literally anything is better than looking at this website.

sometimes i feel bad for myles because when we met his vibe was very much 'let's watch this arty criterion film' and now 4 years into dating me, we're binge watching love is blind and eating jalapeño smokies and PC white cheddar mac & cheese. we've watched the fast & furious franchise like twice

it’s so wildly important that we constantly challenge our internalized ableism. i shocked myself today researching SSRIs (i’m starting anti depressants) and i had a moment where i was like “omg i don’t want to be medicated forever” when there is LITERALLY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT? if i had heard someone else say that i would have challenged them, and it was a moment for me having that internal thought that “oh shit this is a place i need to learn from and challenge in myself.” also v realistically i am going to be starting a forever medication.

T*ylor Sw*ft decided that it was brave in 2022 to say that being fat is a nightmare lol. I don’t think thin people can have internalized fatphobia, that’s just fatphobia.*

* someone said this before me and I cannot remember who to give them credit, if you know please tell me. I know she struggled/s with an ED and has insurmountable pressures as a famous person but you don’t get to express that to the detriment of fat people just existing lol.

❗️❗️❗️❗️IMPORTANT UPDATE❗️❗️❗️❗️:

i just found poems i wrote from when i was a sad teenager. please enjoy some excerpts: from fall 2005 (13 years old)

Let them fall

Let them fall;
Like the tears they shed upon the ground.
Let them break;
Like the hearts they broke running out of town.
Let them hurt;
Like the hurt they imposed on the fragile hearts of the ones who are vanruble [sic].

when I was home in October my parents gave me a giant envelope full of my old report cards and work. I'll share the highlights. she was struggling in grade 6

Seeing the COVID anti vax legion now shout about their rights to not get the Monkeypox vaccine has floored me. It's the Smallpox vaccine. Smallpox, the deadly virus with a death rate of 30+%, that was eradicated because of this vaccine. It's funny how these people are fighting for their 'rights' when their rights see hundreds of thousands of people killed.

Don't even get me started on (white) people and Smallpox.

I will not stand for any Keg slander on my timeline. Some of you grew up upper middle class and it shows. We ate at the Keg once every like three years and it was the PINNACLE of fancy for us.

i'm having one of those times where every time i cross something off my to do list i have to add something else and i feel overwhelmed with work work, personal work, keeping up with life tasks, money, and bills and i simply feel like i might explode. i need like $5000, a week long vacation, and someone to clone me.

hey! this is going to sound harsh! but imo you shouldn't identify as Metis if you recently discovered a couple distant ancestors. it's ok to acknowledge your Metis ancestors, but having ancestors doesn't = being Metis. Metis isn't a catch all dish for wayward white people finding an ancestor and now trying to divorce themselves from their white guilt in a race to indigenize themselves. sorry not sorry. i am so beyond fed up with this.

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@MetisNationBC, as someone who has had (now lapsed) citizenship with you, I want clarity on why the BCIT e-mail was so 'offensive'. to me, as a Metis person in BC, I seen nothing offensive with what was stated. it's not offensive to say that @MetisNationBC does not have the inherit right to self governance in a majority of BC. we don't have historic homelands west of the Rockies, we definitely do not have historic homelands on the Coast.

I don't understand the BCIT vs. MNBC thing, nothing was wrong that the professor said. Metis do not have a right to governance east of the Rockies in BC. We have a tiny tip of the homelands that touch the Northeast. We do however, have a right to self governance, but this is landless self governance in so much that we do not have a right to govern what happens with land governance in BC.

I'm reading the Latimer piece in the Globe & Mail. part of me was going to not give it the clicks, but I feel some sort of responsibility to as a Metis person to keep somewhat up to date with what's happening in this (and similar) discourse around this. But wow I have thoughts. I say this gently for all my Metis kin who are connecting, but we need to stop the discourse that all Metis are displaced, disconnected, and in diaspora. Full stop.