I. The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the bump, bump, bump, on the back of my head as I am dragged down the stairs behind Christopher Robin. Bump, bump, bump, driving the things I have seen out of my mind. I do not wish to stop bumping. I do not wish to remember!

https://twitter.com/LoreKeating/status/1478563991060455434

II. Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, I lived on a placid island of ignorance in a forest all by myself, before the buzz-buzz-buzz of dreadful revelation, before I tasted- oh tut, oh bother! Oh sanity-destroying sweetness of the honey of curiosity!

1. I am extremely sorry that a set of tweets I made in anger last night sent some signals that justifiably raised hackles; several people have patiently explained to me that I was not expressing myself well or wisely, and I believe I should trust them. 2. I will not be deleting those tweets. Nobody forced me to post in anger and make an ass of myself, and if I unnecessarily and clumsily upset people then I get to take responsibility for that and eat the consequences like a grownup.

1. Here's a few more useful pandemic lifestyle tips from hazmat class. Everyone has heard of a Hot Zone, of course. It's the dramatic one, the big flashy zone, the one that gets all the attention. But did you know about the Warm Zone and the Cold Zone? 2. The Hot Zone is the area in which one has a reasonable expectation of exposure to A Bad Thing. The Cold Zone is, essentially, the entire rest of the world beyond the borders of the incident response, where no trace of That Specific Bad Thing is meant to be carried.

So, I drew you a cartoon. It's about a guy named Eggbert. And there's a thread that goes with poor Eggbert... 1. Not long ago I gave y'all a stern fatherly lecture about some concepts that were pounded into my head by years of hazmat and EMT training, and as our collective situation is what we might politely call "in flux," I've got some important new stuff for you.

Okay! Let's talk a bit about risk management and our not-so-excellent friend, the novel coronavirus COVID-19.

Why should you pay attention to a single thing I type?

Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can talk with an English accent.

1/23 Just kidding. My English accents are crap.

I was a paid-on-call firefighter from 2005-2016. In addition to firefighting school, I was also required to earn a certification in Hazmat (HAZardous MATerials) Operations and re-certify annually. Ten more times, that was.

2/23

Up next: A late-night thread about worldbuilding secrets and things in proximity to Lando Calrissian's pants. Worldbuilding! A term with a lot of baggage. A craft and a theory that causes headaches for creators at every experience level. A dirty word to some, but only, I would argue, because we too often misapprehend what it can mean.

Worldbuilding is just a hook on a belt.

I fell hard for Harlan Ellison stories as a teenager. Not an uncommon thing. I scoured my high school library for anything with his name on it, then hunted places like Uncle Hugo's. If you wanted Ellison you had to learn a new love for used copies, yellowing pages, torn covers. His publication history was as patchwork and chimerical as his reputation. He was world-famous, he was obscure. He was ubiquitous, he was a distant fluttering heat mirage. He was an angel, he was a sentient hemorrhoid. He was impossible to work with, he was the Pro of Pros.

One last essential clarification, re. my previous thread, in which I am going to tell you something about myself that nobody is strictly entitled to know. But engaging with me on that subject was hard for many people for many reasons-- (1 of OH GOD HE'S DOING IT AGAIN) And I'm going to try to meet that hard work with further transparency on my own part. Here goes:

Nothing I wrote disclaimed the possibility of hiring readers for any purpose to do analysis of any or all of the manuscript. (2 of a molehill)

So it's time for a thread, this time about representation and the characters in my work, specifically in THE THORN OF EMBERLAIN, followed by an appeal for some specific reader data. (1 of a lot) THE THORN OF EMBERLAIN introduces a new set of major long-term characters for Locke and Jean to be thoroughly opposed by. As the Vadran civil war and the Emberlain secession heat up, I'm bringing in a lot of Vadrans to stab and be stabbed. (2 of a bunch)

CRUCIAL DELETED SCENES FROM THE STAR WARS SAGA: A Short Thread

YODA: Into exile, you must go. A strategy, have you?
OBI-WAN: I'll take baby Luke to his dad's homeworld and give him to his dad's only living step-relatives.
YODA: A small heart attack, I seem to be having. YODA: So be it, Kenobi. At least well-loved, young Luke Lars will be.
OBI-WAN: Lars? Oh no, we're gonna call him Skywalker.
YODA: Motherfucker, remember the name of the guy we're trying to HIDE this kid from, do you?
OBI-WAN: Uh
YODA: At least tell me- a pseudonym YOU have?

Incoming "This is some bullshit right here, and let me give you a deep dive on why" thread. Mute me for a few minutes if uninterested.

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Also, the ceremonial presentation of some credentials before the flowering of vulgarity. This was me, for 11 years.