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The author, Séamas O'Reilly Profile picture
The author, Séamas O'Reilly
@shockproofbeats
Former drinks-dispenser to Mary McAleese. Get Did Ye Hear Mammy Died? now at https://t.co/YXIONYzN66
@littlegravitas@c.im 🇺🇦 🇪🇺 🇮🇱 🇵🇸 #FBPE Profile picture Liz Profile picture Jeffrey Rubinoff Profile picture 🇨🇦 Lady Lisa of Chaol Ghleann Profile picture Dom Ramos (Muralista) 🕷 Profile picture 10 subscribed
Feb 28 • 13 tweets • 6 min read
The AI-generated "script" actors were given for the Glasgow Wonka event is.. something. Aside from featuring staging and effects that would be impressive for a moderately-sized West End spectacular, its stage directions also dictate precisely how delighted the audience will be.
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Image Theory. Praxis.
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May 17, 2022 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
When I was 7, my teacher told us to write an article about “world cultures” for school over the weekend. I remembered it late on Sunday so in a panic I made up something called the "Icelandic Fish Festival", figuring said teacher wouldn’t know either way. Sr Veronica was one of my favourite teachers. She was a Glaswegian nun who wore a leg brace due to a childhood bout of polio, and would tell us all about it. She was funny and kind, and always encouraged me writing things. This kind of homework would have been very usual for her.
May 16, 2022 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Despite having offered my thoughts on the THOUGHT of Wild Mountain Thyme ahead of its release to @kn8 18 months ago, I am only now watching it for the first time. I can confirm it's everything I hoped and feared at once. vulture.com/2020/12/why-th… First thoughts, screen legend Christopher Walken has not yet utterd a line of dialogue we haven't laughed at. Not one. The accent is like a black hole of comprehension. Nothing hits through. We're watching with subtitles. What (a) was he thinking, and (b) is he saying?
Apr 8, 2021 • 16 tweets • 3 min read
A lot of people are sharing this today - which is fair enough since it makes some relevant points - but it doesn't apply exactly to what's happening at the moment, and the reasons it doesn't are important. The current horror show is certainly underlined by Brexit/Irish Sea Border stuff, but it’s inseprable from the same old cycle of neglect and exploitation Northern Ireland has suffered under from both London and Belfast governments for as long as I've been alive.
Nov 2, 2020 • 10 tweets • 4 min read
Huge news at my dad's house, as a robin has moved in. He has, somewhat inevitably, been named Pablo, after the novelty robin ornament he bought some Christmases ago, which had telescopic legs and a kind face. This robin too, appears friendly and professional. More updates to come Pablo has been a visitor to my dad's garden for some time, but began entering the home this weekend. He flies back out the window frequently, but always returns, and he is now a free-roaming member of the household, gallivanting from room to room on regular tours of inspection.
Nov 1, 2020 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
In today's column I talk about my experience of Halloween growing up in Derry, and my son's rather limited go of it. But I *also* traffic in some thoroughly debunked Irish halloween myths, so I'd like to correct the record. theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2… Although Samhain did denote the start of winter, conflating it with Halloween is a relatively modern invention, without much actual evidence. Also, Irish emigrants to America did celebrate Hallowe'en, but so did the English, Welsh, others.
Oct 30, 2020 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
True story: I was master of ceremonies for my primary school's nativity, playing everyone's favourite Christmas character, Pablo The Mexican Reindeer. Each class did a little five minute show, and I - a ten year old, sombrero-wearing, reindeer child - came out in between each act, to sing and crack jokes in a Mexican accent that should have landed me in the Hague.
Oct 20, 2020 • 7 tweets • 4 min read
Probably that time the Daily Mail did a bullet-point scare job on me because I tricked Selfridges into printing rude words on some Nutella jars. For the record I got SIX rude words printed in the end. The five below and also Turrdz. I managed the last three after the events detailed by the Daily Mail, during which time I was so well known to Selfridges I had to evade VERY ACTIVE surveillance whenever I entered the store.
Apr 7, 2020 • 17 tweets • 8 min read
Want to hear a funny story about something that happened to me this weekend? It concerns the internet, elephants, and the absurdity of online nostalgia. So, Naomi Wolf was getting pelters from me and others for having said that non-5G Belfast had the “calm” of the 1970s, (despite Belfast *having* 5G and the 70s not being the calmest of times for Belfast). It was really... something.
Jun 6, 2019 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
It's not conscious I know, but I've always found it odd to hear English people using the bastardised Irish surname "Hooligan" to decry their fans' worst behaviour. Every tournament. For days on end. While Irish fans sing songs and make friends without thinking of attacking anyone Like the worst thing an English fan can be is a hooligan. And it's not a nonsense word to Irish people, it's a very recognisable corruption of names like Houlihan and Olohan. Because we're violent and disorderly. Irish people. Compared to...???
Jun 1, 2019 • 36 tweets • 7 min read
Here. Since @EmmetKirwan and @dave_tynan's unmissable DUBLIN OLD SCHOOL has now dropped on Netflix, anyone wanna hear how a small part of it is based on me, very high, mending a hole in a wall at a birthday party using only newspaper, plaster, an XtraVision card? APRIL 2010. TEMPLE BAR, DUBLIN. Ordinarily the part of Ireland used to keep the geordie hen parties and American football fans away from the rest of us, tonight it is host to young Emmet, celebrating his 30th in a simple but spacious apartotel rented for just the purpose.
May 3, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Jesus. It's been a year since I told you about my worst ever workday. Which, eventually led to enough writing work that I quit my job and begin writing full time. It's not an exaggeration to say it completely transformed my life, so thanks be to Ketamine, Mary, and you all. xx I will say there’s something very nice about being able to credit practically every good exciting thing in your professional career to this one very stupid thing. That I might not have posted. That might have sunk without trace. I can't take it for granted. It's liberating.
Apr 10, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
ah sweet nice one Get all my garms together for a nice, deep 90 minute wash and this little hippy ARSEHOLE decides he doesn't wanna get involved.
Mar 22, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Because it's 2019, I am reading a letter Uri Geller has written to Theresa May. It is, of course, a document of almost quantum nonsense, in which every single line is somehow madder than every other line. And I will have forgotten this happened in a week. I
SHOWED

YOU

WINSTON CHURCHILL'S

SPOON

ON

MY

CADILLAC,

WHICH

I ASKED

YOU

TO TOUCH.
Mar 12, 2019 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
Between Bavril Rundgeons and Claspia Midhinge, a new lust dawns. Broiling mass of erotic energy envelops Brackley Zangief and Sexica Thrustfield.

Mar 1, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Ugh, people her own age. Why couldn't she have written about someone more relevant and vital, like a professor in a redbrick university, who embarks on a love affair which brings back memories of his distant youth. Books should be about MAJOR interactions of people who don't mention texting because maybe they live in caves and don't know what phones are even. But there's a university in the cave. And one of the cave profs fucks a precocious young cave student. This reminds him of youth and-
Feb 26, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
My dad is a lovely, wonderful man but if he ever did become some sort of Sauron-style global overlord, this is what all music would be like everywhere. My dad, tapping his foot and patting his knee: yes, yes this is good
Feb 21, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
A reminder that the world record for "not mad in fact I'm actually laughing" was achieved in 1999 with this section from Paul Daniels' fabulously odd memoir, UNDER NO ILLUSION, in which he describes being cancelled by the BBC. To all those screaming Partridge, I believe it was a holy text of inspiration for @neilgibbons but I might be misremembering? It and Nick Owen's masterfully titled memoir In The Time of Nick
Feb 17, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Spent a week responding to every email with Smart Replies, a beige abyss of false laughter and manic amiability. I rendered my self unto Google, but from its beeping heart I stab at thee - with this gently humorous write-up of the experience! theguardian.com/technology/201… It was important to me that F Scott Fitzgerald be heard on the topic of Gmail's smart replies and what they could mean for all of us in our responses to cat videos and 30 Rock memes.
Feb 16, 2019 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Petition to make it law that any time an FA Cup game is televised from one of those lower league stadiums you can clearly see gaffs through, the broadcaster MUST zoom in on someone watching from an upstairs window. Imagine broadcasting a game from Newport County's ground and NOT doing this. I'm actually gasping.
Feb 12, 2019 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
hi guys since shit has blown up i feel like i owe everyone an explanation so i just want to say I reject the ideology of the joker and this picture is not who i am i look at this picture and i barely recognise the guy looking back at me i have grown so much and want to make it clear now that i don't believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you STRANGER or that slaughter is the best medicine