An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive.

Over the weekend I had drinks with a friend whose wife left him. In summary this was his advice to me:

1. Listen to your spouse. Actually listen. Don’t dismiss their concerns.
2. Don’t make jokes about or light of your spouse. Treat your spouse with reverence. 3. Remember your wedding vows and look at your wedding and honeymoon photos monthly to remind you why you are married.
4. Give thanks for your spouse. Imagine if they died and the void they would leave. That void is like separation or divorce.

The Monkey Experiment.

Put 8 monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed on, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

When I was younger, when my mother would cook beans, she would wash the beans and throw outside the odd looking ones. However, when the rains came those beans would grow and produce so much fruit. Moral of story: People may reject or discard you because you don't seem valuable. But the day is coming that they will realise the greatness inside of you.

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases. On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.

An army barracks had four soldiers guarding a concrete slab in front of the barracks at all times.

Different commanders came and went but the tradition remained; the soldiers changed shifts guarding the slab. After 80 years, a new commander was assigned to the barracks. Amongst the things he did was to ask why things were done the way they were.

When he asked why soldiers were guarding the slab, he was told, We've always done it this way.

I must start by saying this is not a response to any rumored exposé on any Pastor. What follows is a collection of random thoughts and beliefs, some of which I have held for years – and have now decided to share.

A THREAD!!! 1. At their very best, Pastors are only MEN of God. There is no simpler way to convey this truth. Your Pastor, no matter how holy he behaves and how many times a day he says “God bless you”, is only a man. His ‘Pastoral calling’ does not grant him immunity to the temptations and

Some 23 years ago I went to my Father's office to collect monies for some school supplies including books. His Orderly asked that I wait that my Dad was in a certain rush but I had to go back to Ekpoma from Benin the same day so I walked into the office. I saw the rush as he was standing to leave, but seeing me he had to attend to my needs. My father is or was not one who would give you money without justification, so he scrutinised my list and I defended every kobo. Suddenly his doors was pushed open and I heard his loud voice..

One day, we will talk about those times......

That unshed tears burned our eyes,
Those cries that got stuck in our throats,
And those times that peals of laughter rolled out of our mouths.

About our childhood days,
And the bitter and sweet memories
That will linger on forever. One day, we will talk

About how we shed off
the garments of childishness,
And braced up to the realities of life.

About the promises we made but broke, the doors we knocked but couldn’t open, the things we strived for but did not get.

You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.

Why did you spill the coffee?

"Because someone bumped into me!!!" Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.

Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.

*Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out.*

Dear God,

I have a few questions which I would want You to answer. I do not want to rely on scriptural quotations, I do not want to listen to a priest or a pastor preach, I do not want to listen to a proverb or a quotation that relates to my questions. I want to have a direct conversation with you. I want to know the plans you have for me. I want to know the right steps to take today. I want to know if I am making the right choices. I want to ask so many questions and I want the answers to come directly from You.

01. Drink a lot of water.
02. Eat more what is born in trees and plants.
03. Live with the 3 E's
Energy | Enthusiasm | Empathy
04. Take 30 minutes per day to PRAY by yourself.
05. Do activities that activate your brain.
06. Read more books. 07. Sit quietly, at least 10 min. per day.
08. Sleep 8 hours per day.
09. Take walks of 20 to 60 minutes per day
10. Smile Often.
11. Do not compare your life with others.
12. Do not have negative thoughts.
13. Do not overdo anything.

A father left 17 camels as an asset for his three sons. When the father passed away, his sons opened up the will.

"Scroll Down" The Will stated that the eldest son should get half of 17 camels while the middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third). The youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the 17 camels.

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at a large company.

The employer said. ”Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill in.”

The man replied, “I don’t have a computer, or an email.” “I’m sorry,” said the employer, “if you don’t have an email , you can't have the job.”

The man left with no hope.

With only £10 in his pocket, he went to a supermarket, bought a 10 kg tomato crate, then sold them door to door.

One time in the kitchen, I was making egg stew. My aunt came over (whose name I cannot mention because I don't want a family meeting😅) and said, "let me tell you a story".

ISSA THREAD She is the wife of a missionary and so often hosts people in their home. She said one of those days, late at night, they had visitors. It was past dinner time and there was no cooked food, so she went into the kitchen to figure out what to quickly fix for her hungry guests.

One day I visited a friend of mine,Thomas Mouko, who is blind. And because it was night he did something that taught me a lot.

Upon entering the house, Thomas switched on the light.
And I asked him "Thomas, why did you put on the light yet you can't see?" Thomas laughed for a long time, switched off the light and went to the kitchen, after a short while he came with a pot of tea and eggs, placed them perfectly well on the table and switched on the light again

What Thomas said made me shed tears because he said to me, Jay Jay!

As a small child , I was very selfish, always grabbing the best for myself.

Slowly, everyone left me and I had no friends. I didn’t think it was my fault and I criticized others.

But my father gave me 3 sentences to help me in life. One day, my father cooked 2 bowls of noodles and put them on the table. One had an egg on top while the other bowl had none on top.

Then he asked me to choose a bowl of noodles.

Because eggs were hard to come by those days, I chose the bowl with egg!

History has it that when the ancient Chinese decided to live in peace, they made the Great Wall of China; they thought no one could climb it due to its height. During the first 100 years of its existence, the Chinese were invaded thrice and every time, the hordes of enemy infantry had no need of penetrating or climbing over the wall, because each time, they bribed the guards and came through the doors.

This Is One Woman’s Story.

THREAD!!!👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 “Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment.

“For real?” “He’s been trying,” I said in a feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”

My wife called, 'How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you
come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter,
Shella, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Shella is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. 'Shella, darling, why don't
you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear'.

An elephant and a dog became pregnant at same time. Three months down the line the dog gave birth to six puppies. Six months later the dog was pregnant again, and nine months on it gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued. On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning, "Are you sure that you are pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date, I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies and they are now grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant. Whats going on?"