Gist with Smallie: The Bobrisky Saga

1.

Early in the morning before we brushed our teeth, VeryDarkman posted a video telling Bobrisky to do the needful. What could possibly be needed by that time of the day?

Na money na money na money, na money oo

Stay with me 🏃🏼

2.

VDM posted a screenshot of a chat between Bobrisky and one guy that was asking for his money.

Apparently Bobrisky borrowed 4 million hard earned Tinubu naira from the guy since and she doesn’t want to pay back.

If the guy was younger, he’d have started crying sef

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

I was going to hustle for fuel when I saw South Africans inside a big pot being cooked by Nigerians.

I said I should mind my business and look away till someone shouted from the back.

“Put Enisa, Put Enisa” Ahh, what’s going on? 2.

I dropped keg and ran to the cooking spot to ask if the Enisa they are putting is salt or maggi before I met one chef Smallie that was aggressively putting Enisa inside the pot.

I asked him what happened and before he could say anything, tears started dripping from his eyes.

Gist With Smallie: A thread

1.

A normal day in Lagos as Oshodi Mr Beast (Asherkine) took to the streets to do his philanthropy work which later caused catastrophe on this Elon Musk newly acquired application.

He met a bus driver whose family news drove the internet crazy. 2.

As Asherkine was buying foodstuff for the bus driver to take home, the wife was on Facebook cooking the husband without ingredients as she posted her pictures with the hashtag #singlemom

Single mum explaining her post after seeing what Bus driver came home with

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Hello Habibi, yk the cold weather that comes with this rainy season doesn’t last long anymore because someone is always coming to heat up the TL. 🥲

This week, it was Burna boy that came to burn down the whole TL. As usual, fasten your seatbelts. 2.

Davido didn’t even take his wedding clothes off before he went to fight for custody of his child Imade with Sophia Momodu.

As Davido is using legal step to drag Imade from one hand, Sophia is also dragging her from the other hand but that’s not the main part of this thread.

Gist with Smallie: New year Edition

1.

The problem started when people made “No gree for anybody” their new year resolution bringing imbalance to our social space as no one was ready to be the bigger person.

Sit tight as I walk you through the valley of shadow of vawulence. 2.

We shall open this years gist with DJ Cuppy, do you copy?

After leaving Twitter influencer (AsiwajuLerry) for British boxer (Ryan Taylor)

Lerry decided to curb tribalism a little as he went on to date an Igbo girl (Amara)

That’s where problem started.

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Omo, where do I start from? Which one I wan talk, which one go remain?

In the morning while mourning Mohbad’s death, TwitterNg experienced a volcanic eruption of chaos that spread like wildfire causing many casualties.





2.

Many conspiracy theories sprang up after Mohbads death but the one that gained more attention was when Sam Lerry sorry Sam Larry and his boys harassed Mohbad at a video shoot.

Sam Larry could have come and explained what happened to us but..

Gist With Smallie: A thread

1.

Omoo! Even with the high price of fuel, some people have vowed to drive to the end of the earth to scatter anything that looks like peace.

Featuring on todays gist is Caramel, Precious Gaza, and Papaya Ex.

Grab your popcorn and sit tight.



2.

Shortly after we heard that Caramel relationship bundle with her then boyfriend (Manny) expired, she went out and we saw a video were she was mentioning all the brands she was wearing except the dress because it was a Nigerian brand and that’s where the problem started.

Gist with Smallie Deluxe: A thread

1.

We saw Anita(NinaTheElite) at home on our way to buy food ingredient for Sallah day so we asked her if she will cook rice or pounded yam for Sallah.

She said none, that it’s Davido she wants to cook. Ahh, wetin Baba Imade do? Find out..

2.

Few days ago, as usual, Gistloverblog continued their mission to scatter this country as they posted the back story to this Anita’s cooking.

In the beginning, the TL was void and dark till Davido went to buy car and na there the wahala from start

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

The lovely people of Ekiti state took it upon themselves to put smiles on the faces of Nigerians in this Tinubu price fuel era.

Their first comedy show was done in a kitchen hosted by Chef Dammy. Let me tell you how it went..

2.

Few days after Hilda Baci’s cookathon that all of us were waiting for Guiness people to certify her, chef Dammy and her pastor said they want to break Hilda’s record by doing 120 hours cookathon.

Sorry for the laugh but na there wahala start

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Davido’s wife (Chef Chi) ran away from the kitchen immediately she saw Davido aggressively wearing apron.

What did he cook?
Burna boy Cat fish pepper soup.

Fire service couldn’t quench the fire after Davido finished cooking. 2.

Davido used Interview as Catalyst to cause Catastrophe as he reached out to his catalogue of names before he categorically called Burna boy “New cat”

Burna fans (Outsiders) started moving kata kata on the TL to defend their goat

I’d have joined them but I be common person

Gist with Smallie Deluxe: A thread

1.

The night was very cold yesterday after rain fell, so we climbed bed and decided to sleep but we threw duvet away immediately they used the bird on Twitter icon to transport Yhemo Lee and Caramel’s gist from Snapchat to this app. 2.

I know it’s “Ladies first” but let’s start with Yhemo Lee because na him own choke pass😫

So the bird came and told us that Yhemo Lee has broken up with his babe (Tayo)

Ehnn, is that supposed to be an issue? No. So what happened?

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

All of us were tearfully buying fuel at 600 per liter before everybody dropped keg and ran away when we that heard John Wick just landed in Nigeria

They said he is angrily looking for Hilda baci and Lipgloss Enioluwa.

Ahh what did they do?😫 2.

After eating almost all the food at Hilda baci’s cookathon few weeks ago, Enioluwa said that the food have not do him and that’s how he traveled to Akwa Ibom to meet Hilda for food.

Agba chef sha entered kitchen and prepared dog meat and that’s where problem started

Gist With Smallie: A thread

1.

Man, woman, they, them, us etc have been dragged on this app but what (Yetunde)’s eyes saw was a discovery.

If they drag tiger gen the way they dragged YetundeGold, the rope will cut into pieces.

She kee person? No. So what happened? Find out😃 2.

(YetundeGold) woke up in the morning, wore a yellow Arsenal jersey then came to say she was nervous after she spoke at the United Nations in Geneva because she dinor know she was supposed to speak.

The hall was even filled up to the brim but this time, with her presence

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

We went out to vote for a better Nigeria on Election Day , on our way back home, some people branched at the armoury to carry weapons they used to cause problems on this app.

They turned this small TwitterNg to Wrestlemania 2.

Shola went to quote an old tweet of LPs Lagos governorship candidate (GRV) saying that some people are rebranded frauds because they use emotions of gullible Nigerians against them.

Before Shola could get back to his alpha male class, they’ve tied his neck with gen rope

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Hello, how’s the family?

After the regular dose of Igboeaux, Seun Kuti set ring light then went on IG live to say Peter shouldn’t be the one to tell us who to vote for.

“There are many talented people in this world that are stupid” he dragged. 2.

With the armour of God, Peter left St. Peter’s where he was praying for Peter Obi to win the election and came to deny Femi Kuti highness from the Igboeaux as he said nobody would have known him if not for his father (Fela Kuti)

That’s how the whole Twitter scattered

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Most of us were trying to get our PVCs at INEC office when we started hearing “Bring water, Quench it!!”

Ahh, where is burning again??? 😩

All of us dragged our kegs of petrol when someone screamed…

“It’s TwitterNG oo” 2.

Leaders of tomorrow left PVC and ran down to TwitterNg with their petrol to quench the fire.

Who started the Fire???

It’s Gistlover oo; they said Instagram influencer (Papaya Ex) is living fake life.

Is that why everywhere is now burning?🙄 NO!!!

So what happened??

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

In the morning, while Lagos people were still struggling their way out of traffic, Tech bros and sis took their laptops and started coding violence on TwitterNg.

All of them are innocent oo, but na who dem catch be Chizom.🙏🏼 2.

It was a very peaceful Monday morning on Twitter Ng till Tech Cabal drank Agbaawo bitters mixed with alabukun before entering Yomi Casuals shop to sew a strong thread around (Ebun)’s waist so his employees can drag him from there.

I know Nigeria is really hard and everyone wants to make money but please don’t put your money into something you have little or zero knowledge about.

I wanted to go into crypto sometime last year so I DMed one Crypto influencer to teach me.

He told me to bring to bring 500k I was confused at first, so I asked him for what?

He said it’s for learning about Crypto.

Lmao, boss if I give you 500k to learn crypto, how much I go use trade?😭

He said I can trade with any amount I want, Shengbo werey.

I sha told him that it doesn’t make sense to me.

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

We were celebrating Christmas when Shatta Wale was inside a pressure cooker boiling after dragging Nigeria at his show.

He got out of the cooker and tried to pour his frustration on Nigerians that are angry by default but they shattered him. 2.

After smoking the left overs of Burna boys blunt, he dragged Nigerian artistes when he said they don’t help Ghanaian artistes promote their songs.

He also said he doesn’t need the help of Nigerian artistes to sell out a show and he told you people in Nigeria.. “Fuck you”

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

Timini left his shoot location and came to use his VPN to say that he doesn’t want to know anybody (girls) anymore, he also added that everybody is crazy.

That’s how one girl (Nwababyone) replied…

“Ope oo, At least 19-21 year olds go rest” 2.

Timini could not even get back to the shoot location before the tweet he was cooking started burning.

There was still small water under the pot before Lydia (Timini’s ex) quoted (Nwababyone) with…

“ 17* .”

Na for there Timini tweet kuku catch fire.

Gist with Smallie: A thread

1.

TwitterNg tweeps have been looking for ambulance since morning to rush down to (Biyi)’s house so it can take Oduduwa to Igbobi for neck treatments after Biyi’s ex (Sabena) gave Oduduwa RKO and broke his neck because she was angry at Biyi.
2.

Biyi went to Alaba international market to buy enough needles to sew thread on (Sabena)’s head as he came to tell us that Sabena almost ruined his life when she spoilt his MacBook, TV screen, expensive perfumes and innocent Oduduwa’s neck.

Shey Alale wa Kere ni!?