I love how “barista” is the job conservatives bring up as a lazy slacker job when one shift at a moderately busy Starbucks would have them crouched between stacks of milk crates sobbing in the back room Imagine spending hours on your feet making four different drinks at once while being glared at by unemployed Boy Moms “running late” for their daily zombie walks around Target

I haven’t watched The Bear yet but I’m thrilled that people who’ve never worked in a restaurant are being introduced to an exclusive strain of Sexually Competent Dirtbag™️ that only exists in a restaurant kitchen Does he look like Pete Davidson? Yes. Has he brushed his teeth today? No, he came straight to work at 10:09 am from some girl’s apartment around the corner from the bar you all frequent after work. He had two cigs and a Red Bull for breakfast.

Bi women with straight boyfriends who feel like you as a couple aren’t welcome in queer spaces, I would simply encourage you to have a cooler boyfriend Somehow all my bisexual women friends who are dating men are dating RAD men who are interesting and engaging people? That we like being around? If your man is a killjoy wearing Allbirds I don’t know what to tell you babe. It’s not any deeper than that.

NFL quarterbacks and what kinda guy they seem like: Ryan Fitzpatrick wears a tshirt that says “GAME OVER” to the brunch the morning after his wedding. Switches to liquor at 11:48 am.