1/ “Are you patriarchal, complementarian, or egalitarian?”

Well, it depends what is meant by these terms.

If by patriarchal you mean God uniquely designed men to be the leaders in society, then I’m patriarchal. 2/ If by complementarian you mean men and women complement each other through different roles God assigns to them per their sexual nature, then I’m a complementarian.

1/ A thread for parents in the trenches.

I got this text:

"Do you have a recommendation for helping a preteen w/ porn addiction? Sad question, I know."

Here was my reply... 2/ Tell them that you love them, aren’t ashamed of them, and that this is temptation that you have had to overcome.

Tell them they can do the same. Then pray with them.

1/ Do you pray enough?

I think I hate that question.

Why? Because it is so unhelpful.

How much prayer is enough?
How do I measure that?
What’s metric?
Is it quantitative or qualitative?
How can I know? 2/ Is it just about minutes or hour spent in prayer?

Is it about the majesty of your prayer language?

Is it about the number of people or countries or situations you pray for?

Is it about powerfully feeling the presence of God in prayer?

What’s the metric for praying enough?

1/ Everyone keeps asking about the vival that's happening at East River Church.

It's true that for the last 2+ years people have been gathering every week to… 2/ …praise God, confess their sins, be assured of their forgiveness, sit under the preaching of the Word, enjoy the Lord's Supper as a family, and be sent out back into their daily responsibilities with the blessing of God.

And here's the kicker…

1/ This is about localism.

There is a sort of formalism I see among many reformed folks.

I think of it as labelism.

That’s not a real word but it captures the “check the box from a distance” attitude.

I have a particular growing subsection of reformed folks in mind... 2/ They tend to fall into one of two categories:

Category 1 - They spend a lot of time on social media consuming reformed content or debating issues popular in all the various reformed niches.

Or...

1/ A mega-thread on how to escape conflict deadlock in your marriage?

Here's how Emily and I like to approach it...

We like to take a “solution focused” approach as opposed to a “problem focused” approach to couple’s counseling.

It also can be applied without a counselor. 2/ “Problem focused” is where I say, “What seems to be the problem?”

And you then respond by walking me through your individual interpretation of the intentions of your spouse behind particular actions or inactions in the past.

This is problematic because...

1/ Many people never said the things that you think they said.

Many people don’t hold the positions that you think they hold.

Sometimes this is due to the writer or speaker’s lack of clarity.

Other times... 2/ ...it is on the recipient’s lack of clear thinking and reasoning. It is this group I want to discuss for a moment.

I’m noticing an inability in readers or listeners to comprehend what is being actually said due to a combination of associative thinking and emotional reasoning.

1/ It’s clear to me that many fail to grasp just how small the American reformed church is compared to both other denominations and the general population.

I believe that it's accurate to say that the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) is the largest explicitly reformed and... 2/ ...conservative denomination. Its total membership is approximately 350,000.

That’s big in comparison to the OPC (≈ 33,000).
It’s even bigger in comparison to the CREC (≈ 13,000).

So my denomination, the CREC, is just under 4% the size of the PCA.

1/ Here's a thread on 4 ways both wives and husbands can improve their marriage.

These aren't the only ways and they are even in order of importance.

Also, these won't magically repair bad marriage but they will improve most marriages.

Okay, ladies first... 2/ Grow in making your needs more explicitly known. Men tend to communicate in a straightforward linear way. Women not so much. Learning to speak a little “man” will improve your marriage. Most men are eager to help their wife & simply aren’t picking up on your subtle hints.

1/ Avatar: The Way of Water
A Lazy Review

I don’t have time to go to the theater often and there especially ain’t much to see these days anyhow.

As a kid, we always saw movies on July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Christmas week/weekend.

So… 2/ It only seem fitting to revisit this tradition as my father was visiting Cincinnati for the first time in well over a decade.

So we caught a matinee of Avatar 2 this afternoon.

I’ll start with the negatives. But there are positives.

1/ For years, I’d expect my family to leave me alone for a period of “decompression” when I got home from work.

I’ve always worked in highly relational/conversation based positions.

I’d often arrived home in an overstimulated state and disappear to my office for 20 mins. 2/ My wife would want me to deal with a discipline issue with a kid or be interested in what happened in my day.

My kids would want to tell me about their day or have a thousand requests requiring permission from dad.

But I just wanted space.
I was fried. "Give me a min, guys."

1/ “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7

So this means looks don't matter, right?

Wrong.

Let me explain… 2/ This verse says what we all know: looks matter to people.

You may say looks matter to people but not to God. Finding certain attributes attractive a product of the fall?

Maybe some but all? No.

God is the designer of our desires & we naturally find His design desirable.

1/ For the most part, I’ve learned to pay little attention and invest little time into what I call “Boomer Christianity.”

By this phrase I simply mean the institutions, leaders, and ministry philosophies that arose from the Christians born in the Boomer generation.

Why? 2/ Because, to use @aaron_renn's paradigm, they were created for a society where Christianity was largely seen as either positive or neutral.

They are increasingly less relevant for a society that sees Christianity as a negative.

And that is our time.

Megathread

It’s our spiritual obligation to pursue physical fitness.

(5) Scriptural Evidences

1) The positive application of the 6th commandment The Larger Catechism 136 lays out the sins forbidden in the 6th commandment. There two lines that especially important to the issue at hand:

1/ I did the @21Convention Summit for a third time.

This is a brief report on this year’s experience and takeaways. 

A little background:

The 21 Summit is three overlapping conferences. 

One on men issues in general. One for fathers. One for women. 2/ These conferences are forums. There are a diversity of topics covered from differing worldviews.

There are many strong disagreements re: tactics, strategies, and objectives.

The uniting principle is a positive view of masculinity & rejection of a feminist view of sexuality.

1/ Here are the notes from talk I just gave at the @21Convention:

21 Talk “Sex is Fire”

Summary:

Immoral sex a destructive power.

However, Sex submitted to God’s design and command is a unifying and productive good

My passage is 2 Samuel 13:1-33. 2/ I have three major points and one big takeaway.
Point 1 -Sexual immorality destroys you (1-21)

Textual Example: Amnon’s “illness"

Cultural Examples:

a. Porn - Erectile Dysfunction,

Pr 6:27-28 “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?"

1/ We need sleep.

I once was the fool who thought running on as little sleep as possible demonstrated toughness.

Maybe so under certain circumstances but as a practice it is weakness... 2/ It's true that the slothful man sleeps too much.

Pr 24 warns:
“‘A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,’ then your poverty will come as a robber and your want like an armed man.”

It's good to not want to be this man. He is pathetic.


But...

1/ The Discipline of Restrained Speech

Scripture warns about saying a lot and doing so rashly.

It associates “restrained words” with a “cool spirit.”

- “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” Pr 17:27

And: 2/ “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” Pr 10:19

Conversely, it associates those who speak with “rash words” or “hasty words” with being a foolish and violent man.

Take for example:

1/ A tree starts as a seed and grows into a fully form tree. You don’t plant a fully form tree. So it is with churches.

This is also why so many church plants fail.

A lot of people want a “Christ Church” (or choose any well known church) but in their town instead of Moscow... 2/ So they set out to gather a group, call a pastor, and go for it.

But they forget that Christ Church became what it was over decades.

It went through various stages of development as it matured.

1/ There will be no disciple-making (great commission) without baby-making (creation mandate).

Let me explain…

To be “made” into a disciple, you first have to be made. Disciples are people. People are born. You can’t be born without being conceived... 2/ Conception requires both sperm and an ovum. Normatively, sperm gains access to an ovum thru a man and woman having sex. Hence, baby-making creates the opportunity for disciple-making.

You can’t have future generations of disciples if they were never “generated."

1/ A thread on ministry tendencies...

A well-rounded church applies the Word of God to its members so much so it affects their intellect, experience, and actions.

However, it is easy to have a ministry which emphasizes one or two of these aspects to the detriment of the others. 2/ Some churches focus on the intellect of the individual. They want to make sure their people know and understand the truth of the Bible. They are content heavy. Longer sermons, less liturgy. They are all about exegetical sermons and tend towards more abstract theology.