zan (ze/zem/zir) is querying 😱 Profile picture
queer adult fantasy writer ♠ WIP: urban fantasy agender aroace disaster ♠ panalterous cupioromantic exclude exclvs always ♠ disabled & ND • BIPOC ally
3 May
tw // ableism

requiring or putting a lot of stock into comps is also ableist, and not just b/c there's a dearth of compable rep.

one big reason I struggle to find comps actually ties into the fact there aren't many compable queer books: I think very literally.
ex. something I default to in my early drafts as I'm focused on fleshing the story out is write actions almost like stage directions. (stood up, walked over to the door, opened the door, etc.) I recognize this in my writing and hey that's what editing is for, but it's so hard.
another thing is that I come up with metaphors that seem neat at first but then I overanalyze and quickly start doubting it actually makes sense. because overly literally thinking.
Read 7 tweets
3 May
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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mono lesbians claim non-lesbians shouldn’t have a say when it comes to discussing the validity of bi/pan/mspec lesbian/gay identities. they’re not only wrong b/c it very much affects non-lesbian nonbinary people, but they’re hypocritical.

1/ 2 tweets by a user but the name & handle are redacted  1: @t
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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let’s talk hypocrisy first.

if mono lesbians actually wanted the conversation to stay strictly among lesbians, they’d tell their non-lesbian allies to be quiet during ~disk horse~. instead, they only tell mspec lesbians’ allies to shut up

2/
tw // BLERFs, exorsexism
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okay moving onto the bigger shit:

this ~disk horse~ affects non-lesbian nonbinary people. disregarding how we feel when we’re lumped into mono labels is incredibly exorsexist. you’re talking over us on something that DOES impact us.

3/
Read 15 tweets
3 May
“my child is neurotypical”

your child is relieved and elated tone indicators exist
(it’s me.)
format credit goes to @chaoticgaythey
Read 5 tweets
3 May
see Jules' replies. they acknowledge there are differences in stigma and obstacles, but there are still very much stigma and obstacles in getting treatment, accommodations, accessibility, etc. for physical illness/disability as there are for mental illness/psychiatric disability.
it took almost 16 years for a severe pain issue to be diagnosed and another year before it was properly treated. and I was fortunate and privileged. I found an amazing doctor, I had insurance, and I'm white.
Read 5 tweets
3 May
"nonbinary people are inherently included in all orientations" is a bad fvcking take and makes me incredibly uncomfortable
this isn't about saying someone is using the "wrong" orientation label if they're attracted to only men OR women, and nonbinary folks in addition to one of those. I am not label-policing.
but like, saying nonbinary folks are always included in monosexual attraction across the board makes me incredibly nervous, especially since exorsexism is so prevalent among monosexuals (mostly cis monosexuals, but some trans monosexuals as well).
Read 16 tweets
3 May
marginalized folks have every right to cut out those who harm them, even if it's only once, even if it's unintentional.
marginalized folks are bombarded with microaggressions every day, and many face macroaggressions daily or near daily (especially when we are visible, be it willingly or not). we're allowed to create our own safe spaces.
I've cut people out of my life for other reasons because our relationship was causing me more and more harm. there was never malicious intent on the other person's part, but it was nevertheless a toxic relationship. I made a choice to walk away for my own emotional wellbeing.
Read 10 tweets
3 May
imagine having the privilege of "just enjoying your tween years" 🥲
like did I exist as a tween on a physical level and environmental level? yes. did I experience those years as myself? abso-fvcking-lutely not.
I wasn't "into politics" at the time (though if I was a tween today I imagine I might be, but this was before /myspace/ let alone twitter and I do have the privilege of being white).

but uhhhh
Read 14 tweets
2 May
hiya #WIQchat! I’m Zan and I write urban & high fantasy.

I imagine Redwall is probably one of the reasons I love ensemble casts 🤔
two towns, one on either side of magical gateways, in a small valley in the Blue Ridge Mountains

#WIQchat

Tashi has a good heart, really just wants to help keep people safe and would literally die for her family,, but she is terrible at asking for and accepting offered help.

(I have multiple POVs but I’m feeling lazy 😅)

#WIQchat
Read 5 tweets
2 May
tw // demirophobia, possibly unpopular opinion?
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I don’t know how many folks were saying it during last night’s shit show, but I saw demiros and allies argue against asshats that demiromanticism was a legit identity (which it is!!!) b/c... love at first sight exists?? 1/
tw // demirophobia, possibly unpopular opinion?
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I’m not saying it doesn’t, but that’s... not generally how romantic attraction is defined???? love isn’t intrinsic to (allo)romantic attraction.

I’m not angry (except at the asshats) just frustrated by the whole thing. 2/
tw // demirophobia, possibly unpopular opinion?
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that argument is counterproductive because yeah, demirophobes are right in that people don’t literally fall in love at first sight (afaik 🤷🏻) 3/
Read 6 tweets
2 May
I challenge inclusive queers not to fall back onto "I'm literally [gender/orientation]" when others call you [gender/orientation]-phobic. We all know this is the exact language exclvs use. Claiming this defense for ourselves suggests it's as valid a defense for exlcvs. /nm
I say this not because it's going to change exclvs' minds, but to outsiders looking in, using the exact same defense can suggest anyone using that defense to excuse hate is acceptable because they are that gender or have that orientation.
Expecting outsiders to extrapolate which side they should listen to (i.e. "think critically") is ableist.

Saying "this is my identity, therefore my opinion is The correct opinion" to defend unnuanced assertions, especially claims of harm being done, sound reasonable.
Read 17 tweets
2 May
people think their dogs are “asserting dominance” or ”being defiant” significantly less often than dogs actually do these things.
haven’t done a dog trainer hat tweet in a while so here, have this one ‘cause today I had to read an email about a dog peeing defiantly 🤦🏻
there is a world of dog behavior and relationship dynamics beyond dominant/“alpha” vs. submissive. please stop interpreting the entirety of dog behavior and dynamics through this lens 🥲
Read 7 tweets
1 May
I really should be focusing on writing but oh well 🤷🏻 black text on white  1 like = 1 fact about me
1. I was born with a full head of hair that never fell out
2. I've had cats all my life and lived with 9 total.
Read 20 tweets
30 Apr
ftr this is a subtweet about me if anyone would like ✨ context ✨ tweet from @IzntGoingAway  ...
he QRT’d my ace & bi solidarity tweet complaining I didn’t “invite aros”. I said it was shitty because I never said anywhere that it only applied to aces & bis.

(I got the same shit from mono lesbians lmao)
not every tweet has to encompass every identity the content applies to. if two groups are expressing solidarity about something, it doesn’t mean they don’t think anyone else deals with it. it’s just two groups who are expressing solidarity! it’s not that complicated!
Read 8 tweets
30 Apr
the problem with this doing numbers is people are coming here with zero context. y'all, I'm not disregarding/exclvding anyone else's experience here 😕

mini 🧵 for context

1/7
I tweeted this b/c a bi author has been getting harassed along these lines, and I (aroace), a bi ace friend, and an ace author I follow (and I'm sure others) have each been tweeting (separately) about how much we can empathize b/c aces deal with the same type of harassment.

2/7
yes, lots and lots and lots of queers are subjected to this type of harassment beyond aces and bis. I'm not exclvding anyone. I did not say "only aces and bis deal with this." y'all are just missing the context.

3/7
Read 7 tweets
11 Apr
several new people have followed me because of my ADHD post (RIP my notifs) so I'm gonna do a temporary pinned tweet to cover the basics until it slows down 🥴

hi 👋

read on for important things to know if you're gonna follow me 👇
my pronouns are ze/zem/zir

calling a nonbinary person who has different pronouns is misgendering

mine are literally right there next to my name if you ever forget
I am agender, aromantic, and asexual

if you think any one of those doesn't belong in queer/LGBTQIA+ spaces then you can go hit that unfollow/block button now ✌

(the A has never and will never stand for ally)
Read 11 tweets
10 Apr
"You can't use ADHD as an excuse just because you've suddenly been diagnosed with it."

It's not an excuse. After literal decades, I finally have the vocabulary and understanding of my behavior needed to identify it so I can learn how to work with my brain instead of against it.
I'm just still figuring out that last part, so in the meantime it /feels/ like I'm just pointing at fires going "fire!" instead of making the fires work for me...

... or something.
fun fact: this was me arguing with my internalized ableism last night 🙃
Read 35 tweets
10 Apr
Don't reprimand your dog for growling, showing teeth, air snapping, barking. It's trying to tell you something. Punishment for warning signals like these won't change the underlying behavior. It just suppresses the warnings, and then you'll be caught off guard when it bites.
Imagine being punished for screaming or crying or telling someone to leave you alone because you feel threatened 🙃
QRT 'cause addition/elaboration

This definitely extends to SDs.

Look at it like this: You're being told (conditioned) not to express your grievances to people who hold significant sway over your life, ex. parents, teachers, employers, etc. 1/
Read 13 tweets
9 Apr
... what? 🤣 screenshot of tweets  tweet...screenshot of tweets  tweet...
(oops, uploaded the wrong screenshots before)

cn // racism, slavery
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I can’t say I’m surprised by these takes. Appalled? Yes. Surprised? No. screenshot of tweets  tweet...screenshots of tweets  twee...
"your first reply was confrontational"

Why the fvck /wouldn't/ I confront bigoted assholes like you?
Read 4 tweets
9 Apr
cn // transmisogyny, violence against trans people, murder
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This. Are TMEs harassed, assaulted, oppressed, and killed? Absolutely, and it's horrific. But violence against TMAs is often on the more extreme end, namely TMAs (esp BIPOC TMAs) are far more likely to be murdered.
Acknowledging this fact does NOT erase the violent experiences of TMEs, just like misogyny doesn't erase the violent experiences of men. It's recognizing there is a stark difference in where the violence comes from and how pervasive and extreme it is.
And yes, there are experiences unique to trans men, transmascs, and other TMEs. Those need to be recognized and addressed as well! But you cannot ignore the horrors TMAs face /because/ they are TMAs.
Read 7 tweets
9 Apr
cn // bi/pan lesbian exclvs, exorsexism
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is it me or does this argument against mspec lesbians feel very "nonbinary people are just Women Lite"? tweet from @B1A4nie  woman ...
cn // biophobia
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shit this isn't even just bi/pan lesbian exclvsion, this is straight up biphobia right? "if you like multiple genders and none of them are men, you are a lesbian"

wtf
cn // exorsexism
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to be clear, the part that strikes me as "all nonbinary people are Women Lite" is the sense that they're /forcing/ mspec lesbians into the (mono) lesbian label simply because they check the box of "not attracted to men"
Read 5 tweets
9 Apr
genuinely curious, do /single/ abled people working full-time jobs that actually pay enough they don't have to stress about having enough to cover groceries, rent, bills, and basic medical costs actually feel like they have the energy to cook at the end of the work day...?
just thinking about how even if I had a low-stress desk job I loved and my salary had me covered, I still wouldn't have the spoons to cook more than a few days a week
I cleaned Sunday and my right arm was still sore when I started my work week on Tuesday. I have a desk job, and being sore before the week starts does not do my body any favors 🙃
Read 4 tweets