This is my 'hot take' after studying him for ten years, but I don't think Coleridge was in love with Sara Hutchinson any more than he was in love with opium.
Coleridge's "love" for Sara Hutchinson was something that he wrote about later, from a distance. Just as, with the Dejection ode, his wishes for her were coming from the other side of a writing desk, from a distance. Coleridge probably "fell in love" with SH while he was
