I just read someone laboriously and enthusiastically explain to a disinterested sceptic how this new cut of the Justice League will be 'more like Batman vs Superman' and it took me like three re-reads to realise that they think that is a good thing. Yes I am back, choosing to ignore any and all circumstances of my life and work to focus exclusively on dunking on terrible movies. Here, grab a drink.

I spoke to a family member the other day, who was like 'okay but if you are so busy working/parenting and have no time how come I see you tweeting so much?' BECAUSE I ALSO NEED TO EAT AND DRINK AND LIKE, LAY IN BED AND ON COUCHES AND REST MY OLD MAN BACK, AND WAIT FOR STOMACH NOISE TO STOP, SORRY I AM NOT LITERALLY RECORDING OR PLAYING AEROPLANE WITH THE TODDLER AT ALL TIMES

We didn't really hire babysitters much in the Before Times. Once or twice, but WOW am I looking forward to being able to again. Like, tomorrow, my partner has a work thing, she can't not do, I have a work thing I can't not do. Soooo one of us just... fails. At our job. Having someone come over & watch the kid for like 3 hours on a specific, unfortunately-timed occasion like this would make such a difference. But, pandemic means no can do. Not looking for solutions. There aren't any. Just venting, and looking forward to When This Isn't The Case.

Yet again people assure me I can’t in fact be suffering from 12 mths of pandemic isolation, because I have a family. Love that for me. Discounting other people’s distress based on their perceived circumstances is tight! Congratulations to all those out there winning at being sad Thanks to all those of you who have said kind things. To clarify: basically what I am saying is that everyone has it rough. Living by yourself this whole time? Rough. Living with three children and corgi? Rough.

Reading a book of ‘life hacks’ someone gifted me, (which is mostly just Women’s Weekly Home Hints like using soda water on stains but MANLY BECAUSE ITS A ‘HACK’) & came across this page which I respectfully call bullshit on. Servers want to back me up here? The book has something suspect on practically every page, honestly. OKAY AUTHOR, LETS DO A LITTLE EXPERIMENT. I’LL DOWN THESE 11 CUPS OF ESPRESSO, ONE EVERY HOUR AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS BASKET OF GRANNY SMITHS AND WE’LL SEE WHO IS UP AT THE END OF IT.

Hullo Tweeterpeeps. I got some good news yesterday that I would like to share with you all. My Petition to Adjust my Status to a United States Lawful Resident was approved yesterday. So to put it in the popular parlance - I got me a green card! It is only valid for a limited time (2 years) needs to be renewed is subject to various bureaucratic whimsy and no I am not a citizen so I can't just pop off and live somewhere else for a few years and hop on back BUT it is nonetheless a Very Good Thing.