as a trans woman exposed to all the dumbest, most selfish takes by cis parents on twitter, i've learned that my child's puberty is all about ME

my 12 year old son smells a little too much like my old signature brand of rancid testosterone, so i'm starting him on puberty blockers because i'm his parent, he's my property. he doesn't have the ability to make decisions about his own health, in consultation with medical professionals

if he wants to go through a male puberty, i'll support him once he's an adult capable of making an informed medical decision

i spend my time on twitter building community with other trans femmes

i accomplish this primarily by sharing our narratives and finding unexpected commonalities that show these lonely, abandoned and orphaned girls that they are not alone, and were never alone i want these girls to live, to connect, to find their will to beauty, to advocate for themselves, to find love, to thrive, and to take back everything that was stolen from them

but in order to achieve that, we have to start with where we came from and what we narrowly survived

i thought it might be common

i thought it might be bad

i didn't expect it to be this horrifyingly commonplace

https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1638635212551643141

many of the replies are harrowing

i had to take breaks from reading every once in a while, partly because i share similar traumas, and partly because i have a 12 year old queer child

my impulse as a mother is to reach out and protect every child in these terrifying memories

okay, here's the real tea on voice training (🧵):

it's hard, but you can do it, even without instruction, as cost is often too prohibitive for many of us

if you aren't mute, you are already modulating your voice. you have been since you first cried as an baby you'll probably begin by sounding like faggot minnie mouse. you'll get frustrated. your voice will get tired. you'll need to consciously think about speaking

but you'll eventually stop over-correcting. you'll build stamina & the ability to project, retraining your muscle memory

male socialization was when Dad beat me for no reason in particular (being a girl) (faggot) (derogatory) but not my sister (cishet) (manipulative)

it's fine. she's two years younger, but looks older than me and TIRED, and i'm so much prettier than her

this. this is my revenge. male socialization was when i had no friendships wherein i wasn't just a third wheel, where all of my feelings for my "friends" were asymmetrical, and it never felt like they actually wanted me around

In the months ahead, if I were a fascist with no internet home to go to, and a burning desire to destroy trans woman, I might create 'trans' Twitter accounts with picrew or Steven Universe avatars to spread rumors & incite mobs, since too many trans women still haven't caught on. But since I'm a trans woman, not a fascist, I'll just kindly block anybody I see participating in that shit, whether they'e trans or 'trans,' because they're not my comrade. And they're not yours.

⚠️ CW: vaginas ⚠️

For girls who get penile inversion vaginaplasty, there‘s frequent dilation in that first year. With all that, and the cleanup it entails, the vaginal canal will stay very clean. However, once you get to the point where you’re dilating much less frequently, you might notice something different in your vagina and panic.

“Omg? Are those little pieces of toilet paper? How did that get in there!?”

That’s not toilet paper, sweetheart.

It’s dead skin.

the two (2) genders these are also (allegedly) genders, but i remain skeptical

I’ve spoken with many trans people who are waiting to transition, usually due to safety, housing or economic concerns, or unreciprocated obligations to unsupportive families.

I can’t recall anyone ever telling me they wished they’d waited longer to start their transition. In fact, trans people wishing they’d transitioned much earlier in life is so ubiquitous it’s generally considered the norm.

I can only speak for myself, but if the guy who came before me intentionally waited, I’d still be enraged about the time he knowingly withheld from me.

my mom at 42: me at 38:
(oh, and Tempest) I think the socks in the top right background of the pic on the left might be me. The one behind my mom looks like my brother.

As a child who suffered intense effemimaniac abuse from before I can even remember (such that I don't know how I'm even still here), and sufficient in magnitude that it buried my gender under layers of complex trauma, I've done the work to break that cycle in parenting my child. Baldur is 11 years old. He called me mommy before I ever came out. He never gets my pronouns wrong. He never uses my deadname, and I can tell from our interactions that he recognizes and respects my sex and gender.

The very least I can do for him is reciprocate that respect.

Bottom surgery consultation questions!

I didn't know which questions to ask during my consult in 2019. I think few people do. Now I know exactly what I would have asked. (I also know I should’ve taken a friend so I didn't feel so overwhelmed.) #LadyeVossSRS

Here's my list now: · "Which method(s) do you use?"
· "What tissue do you use? Will you require grafts?"
· "Will I have both outer labia and inner labia?"
· "Is there an option for a two-step process for my surgery which might provide a more 'cis-passing' appearance, or not?"

Unfortunately, the Smoke-free Illinois Act doesn't cover apartments. They're considered private residences.

For public places and places of employment the limit from windows that open is 15'.

The distance range from the balcony to my window is 4'8" (parallel) to 11" (diagonal).

https://twitter.com/vyrthandi/status/1514338157638135827

Yes, I used a measuring tape. Yes, I am that upset.

I looked up the law because smoking isn't mentioned even once in the lease agreement. But other sources say restrictions and prohibitions on smoking on rental property premises is left to the discretion of landlords.

Music up, window open.

Sure, I'd love some cigarette smoke in my bedroom. Who wouldn't?

You're absolutely killing it with your consideration. You are the balcony queen of Zero Fucks to Give.

WELL 👏🏻 DONE 👏🏻 They are smoking at midnight. 3 AM. 7 AM. There is no fucking time I can open this window, and it is so goddamn stuffy in here.

Even clocking in at 15 minutes 43 seconds, 7empst by Tool is still somehow not long enough. Drums were a gift from the gods, but specifically for Danny Carey and no one else. I won’t die on this hill, I’ll amass a larger hill of corpses atop it.

You all know me better than I know myself, so you know I'm powerfully dumb and easily confused. Set aside everything else here, including that I make roughly ~$15 an hour.

What's my "creative hobby?" I legit don't know!

⬇️ Please invent one for me! Drop it in the replies. ⬇️ Restrictions!:
· Keep the cost to a minimum.
· I don't have land, so no gardening.
· I can't eat solid food anymore, so no culinary arts.
· I'm high risk, so no public interaction.
· Maybe don't require my son participates, because it might be too stressful for him to regulate.

I don’t see all the invisible 🔒 cowards who quote retweet me, so somebody PLEASE tell me who upgraded me to middle class on Sunday!

Mama needs to get PAID! 💰🤑💰

Let’s fucking GOOOOOOOOoooooo! Just imagining what I could do with that much money. FUCK.

I could buy clothes. For 18 months I’ve been cycling through $100 of yoga pants, $100 of shorts, $60 of cardigans, and the cheapest bras and panties money can buy. I could have nice things!!!

Expect 2025 will be bad, and act accordingly.

Fight like hell to get to a safer place--physically, financially, socially, psychologically.

I know this is hard. I'm a single mother, disabled, traumatized, and poor. I've endured financial abuse, homelessness, and underemployment. I understand how hard it can be to get motivated, especially if it's just you. So please realize that even if there aren't now, there eventually will be people who are going to count on you, depend on you, and will need you to be relentless, strong and fierce for them.

Fight.

I have at least 3 frens getting bottom surgery soon. One of them just asked what to take to the hospital, and I’d like to share this with you all, in case it can benefit one of you too.

Vyrthandi’s (mostly) comprehensive list of what to take to the hospital for bottom surgery: Necessities:
• phone
• phone charging cord (10-12’)
• robe
• slippers
• dry shampoo
• brush
• comb
• travel size liquid shampoo/conditioner
• travel size body wash
• favorite scented lotions
• razors and shaving cream
• tooth brush
• travel size tooth paste

My neo-pussy always gushes when I cum. 💦 This has happened every single time I've orgasmed over the past several months. During this period of time, I've been primarily masturbating without any toys, rarely relying on more than just my hands.

It was likely happening before I changed modalities, I just didn't notice it.

LUBE DISCOURSE! (centering neo-vaginas)

In order to dilate over the last 10 months, I've gone through at least 7 liters of lube, and one thing I discovered early is:

There is lube for work, and there is lube for play.

Now when I hear or read "flavored," I also think *scented.* Flavored lube isn't just for oral sex.

With my trans, estrogen-enhanced capacity to actually smell things, I don't like associating dilation with masturbation. To keep those separate, and enjoy a fully sensory experience, I find it essential to play using sugar-free lube.