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It’s the morning of Christmas Eve. This is the perfect time for me to air:
MY FESTIVUS GREIVANCES!
MY FESTIVUS GREIVANCES!
First off: @realDonaldTrump; you have not invited me to host your alternative to the WHCD. Disappointment fills me. 
@realDonaldTrump Second, Hot Persian Women. You have not flocked to me as fast as I’d have hoped. The mullahs aren’t gone yet, so I’m willing to forgive, but as soon as they are we’re gonna polygamize on this this shit like we’re modern day Saudi royalty.
