Dean Burnett (@drdeanburnett everywhere) Profile picture
Neuroscientist writer/humourist. New book 'Why Your Parents Are Hung Up On Your phone...' published 19-09-2024 https://t.co/T16cUfHN1d

May 10, 2020, 21 tweets

I've seen this spoof of the government's ridiculous #StayAlert many times today

But I think it's onto something. The Chicken Song in fact has many relevant lyrics and should be adopted as the official anthem for the #Covid19 pandemic.

I'll explain. #TheCovidChickenSong

/1

🎵Hold a chicken in the air...🎵

It is important to avoid having your produce come into contact with other surfaces or people, due to risk of contamination

#TheCovidChickenSong

/2

🎵Stick a deckchair up your nose...🎵

All outdoor leisure should be avoided, or at least kept within the realm of your personal space

#TheCovidChickenSong

/3

🎵Buy a jumbo jet...🎵

The ongoing collapse of the air travel industry means now is a good time to invest if you're after a bargain, and they'd probably appreciate the money

#TheCovidChickenSong

/4

🎵And then bury all your clothes...🎵

The extent to which the virus can remain on your clothes is uncertain, so if you've come into contact with a carrier it's best to clean them thoroughly, or dispose of them entirely

#TheCovidChickenSong

/5

🎵Paint your left knee green...🎵

Pursuing new and interesting hobbies, however unusual, at home will help reduce the temptation to violate lockdown

#TheCovidChickenSong

/6

🎵Then extract your wisdom teeth...🎵

Dental practices and other medical services are less available or otherwise restricted due to the pandemic, so if you can take care of it at home, that'd be useful

#TheCovidChickenSong

/7

🎵Form a string quartet...🎵

The lockdown has led to many musical collaborations via Zoom or other video networking services

#TheCovidChickenSong

/8

🎵And pretend your name is Keith🎵

If you're feeling isolated and alone during lockdown, why not try experimenting with a new identity or imaginary friend, to break the monotony?

#TheCovidchickenSong

/9

🎵Skin yourself alive...🎵

Can you really be *too* vigorous when it comes to hand washing and cleansing? Some would say no.

#TheCovidChickenSong

/10

🎵Learn to speak Arapahoe...🎵

Many have chosen to use the enforced free time to learn a new language, or opt for some other form of self improvement

#TheCovidChickenSong

/11

🎵Climb inside a dog...🎵

The shortage of PPE is a national disgrace, leading many to improvise alternative ways of protecting themselves from the virus

#TheCovidChickenSong

/12

🎵Climb inside a dog...🎵

The shortage of PPE is a national disgrace, leading many to improvise alternative ways of protecting themselves from the virus

#TheCovidChickenSong

/13

🎵And behead an Eskimo...🎵

Anyone who approaches you who has demonstrably travelled far beyond their local area should be strongly discouraged from doing so

#TheCovidChickenSong

/14

🎵Eat a Renault Four ...🎵

Long-distance travel is not permitted, so any alternative use for your car is to be encouraged

#TheCovidChickenSong

/15

🎵With Salami in your ears ...🎵

A pandemic is a stressful time, and self-care is important. Do whatever you need to do to stop the flow of bad news if it's making you anxious

#TheCovidChickenSong

/16

🎵With Salami in your ears ...🎵

A pandemic is a stressful time, and self-care is important. Do whatever you need to do to stop the flow of bad news if it's making you anxious

#TheCovidChickenSong

/16

🎵Casserole your gran ...🎵

If you actively ignore or disregard lockdown rules, you may as well be sacrificing your elderly relatives for your own brief indulgences

#TheCovidChickenSong

/17

🎵And disembowel yourself with spears🎵

Many people voted for the government handling the UK Covid19 response, and will undoubtedly do so again

#TheCovidChickenSong

/18

There are other lyrics, but you probably get the gist by now

#TheCovidChickenSong

/end

I have no idea why I did this last night. Buy it happened nonetheless

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