This weekend has been unusual and unfortunately it is becoming normal. How do you look at this virus and see anything but devastation? It is awful!
I want to cry each time a new patient or coworker tests positive.
/1
And as we wait for our weekly test results an odd sense of fear, denial, anger, and relief go through me each week as I continue to test negative.
Then guilt floods me, as those around me test positive.
And I wonder ... when will it be me? What will happen then? /2
What will happen to my family who depends on my income to survive. What will happen to me if I get this virus? Will I end up on a vent? Will I be around to see my daughter grow up? What will happen if I am not, then I realize, "so this is what it means to face your mortality" /3
When you read about questioning your mortality in text books, it is abstract & in theory.
When you start to question, "Will this be the day I get this virus and have it kill me?" It is surreal.
This has to be a dream, right? Nope.
This is what I and many others are facing /4
Then, I think...did any of these healthcare workers who died from this virus question these things?
Then before I can dwell on it too much, I get a call - another patient is in respiratory distress, oxygen is not helping, nothing is helping - /5
This is the moment we have been waiting for, its finally time to send this patient to the hospital so they can get a higher level of care.
Why were we waiting?
Because our hospitals are at 94-100% capacity depending on the building. There are very few beds ... /6
So we wait. We provide all the care we can, and when they are ready for one of the few ICU beds left in our area, we call EMS for transfer.
Yet, our govenor says - "Florida is fine, hospitals always run full like this...."
There is a huge disconnect /7
Its just another day according to our Govenor. Another day where thousands test positive and hundreds die...
This is #COVID19 in Florida's #LTC population. /end
#CoronavirusOutbreak #COVIDflorida #NurseTwitter #MedTwitter
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