The captain crunched down hard, pulverizing the last of his rations with what remained of his teeth. It wouldn’t be long before he and his crew began to starve. He imagined his boat drifting into port, toothless skeletons huddled together in bed. That would not do.
His saccharine meal churning through his guts, rampaging them with toxic sugar, he burst onto the deck. There were only a handful of them left now, a paltry crew. Those that died were tossed overboard, lest their meaty bodies tempt defilement. He could hear the crew’s stomachs.
The “food” had deadened his senses, quieted his desires, and now seemed to pull him, belly first, towards the orb. It was out here, hidden beneath the waves and it was their only hope. If they could reach it, they could feed off it or maybe bait animals with it.
They had been circling the orb for several days. The crew, hungry and tired, would mutiny soon. He wouldn’t fight them, he understood. But today was the day, today they would find the orb and the treasures that came with it. He could feel it deep in his sugar coated gut.
Suddenly, there. It was below them, rapidly rising to the surface. The captain could sense it, the size and malice of the thing. It broke the surface of the water and pushed the ship back about an hour or so. Stomachs rumbled in excitement, minds churned in wonder.
From this vantage, it was a pockmarked dome of moving color. Red, purple, brown, green, blue, all swirling together to make an unsettling protrusion. No birds flew and no fish seemed to be near it. The object of their collective desire gently rolled, towering above their ship.
It was not supposed to be this big. It was supposed to be massive but manageable, not this titanous abomination. So, when one of the crew readied a harpoon, it didn’t register with the captain to change the plan. He watched passively as the rod soared through the air and struck.
It planted into the surprisingly dry surface with a cracklings sound. For a time, that’s all there was. The boat rocked, waves lapped at the ship, and stomachs growled. Then there was more cracking. Quiet at first but growing to a deafeningly loud roar. The orb was breaking.
The sound built into a crescendo, the music of it shaking into their souls. Then, the boom. The orb shattered into million of pieces, tiny berry sized bites. They fell into the sea, onto the ship, and into hungry mouths. Multicolored, dry balls. Little more than colored sugar.
The ship began to fill, the collective weight of thousands of orbs taking its toll. The harpoon thrower looked at the captain and quietly mouthed “Oops”. The captain nodded, accepting this new turn. At least they had food now. The captain chuckled to himself, “All berries.”
Hope you enjoyed this dumb story. It was a long way to go for a silly joke but it was fun. Actually had the idea while eating Coco Puffs. 😂
#SoxStory
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