A thread....
Recovery truth
I'm not going to lie. It is hard. The most difficult & most painful thing I have ever done. To constantly fight against that voice, the voice which controlled every element of my life for far too long. The tears, confusion and pure exhaustion.
The voice still appears from time to time, in times when I am feeling a little vunerable or anxious. The voice will try to lure me back in, using different ways and weak spots to get to me.
The latest way it's trying to lure me in is attacking my postpartum body. Nothing fits my body is still healing, it needs time. The temptation to loose weight quickly, resort to old behaviours & the voice whispering, you have done it before, you can do it again, it's easy really.
But with those behaviours came misery I was selfish all I cared about was the number on that scale. Friendships put at risk I had no time to socialise, I needed to be at the gym. My relationship with my husband at breaking point he watched the woman he loved slowly kill herself
My career in tatters as I couldn't keep up with my work load, unable to concentrate and couldn't be the fun early years practitioner I once was. With those behaviours came heart failure, depression and a whole host of damage to my body. I was a shell.
So yes ED, I could loose the weight quickly. But I would also be loosing so much more. My happiness, my freedom and possibly my life.
I want to see my little girl grow up.
Recovery is ongoing and may seem impossible at times. But looking down at her little face......
My goodness it is worth every fight 💕
Recovery is possible. Hard, but worth it.
Keep fighting everyone x
#eatingdisorder #edtwt #mentalhealth #edrecovery #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #bullimia #osfed #eatingdisordertruth
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