Oh my god so
I highly recommend checking out the Yellow Card Scheme reports that show what side-effects people have self-reported from different covid vaccs:
Menarche is the technical word for the very first time someone menstruates in their life.
So I’m not entirely sure how two people reported that the vaccine delayed its onset and one reported that it brought it on too early
Do they know the future
Huge if true
The moderna vaccine gave me:
Yes TWO ENTIRE PEOPLE literally reported that they had the side effect of “screaming”
Thankfully it was not fatal
HANG ON JUST A MINUTE
OH LORD I JUST LOOKED AT PFIZER WHICH IS TWICE THE LENGTH
(For the record, I pruned out anything which could be even TANGENTIALLY related to the jab, there’s more than enough utterly batshit symptom self-reports to play with)
Gosh I wonder what chemical could be related to this foetal warfarin syndrome
I’d say “huge if true” but that just seems unfair
Oh no Pfizer makes you a gammon
“Pfizer made me sound myself”
Are you experiencing any of these issues in your life? Have you been vaccinated? BINGO CHECKMATE
The Pfizer vaccine made me the finest actor on God’s green earth, with the lush eyelashes of a flirtatious camel
What if these are the same person and they’ve just not joined the dots yet
I’m not a scientist but I’m pretty sure these weren’t caused by your covid jab
Oh come on now you’re just taking the piss
To wrap up I feel a genuine fondness for the 17 people who made this self-report
OH LORD I just took a look at the AstraZeneca document which is the longest one yet
BUCKLE UP
For a reminder, this is a good summary of the yellow card scheme which has brought me these glorious documents
Everything listed beyond is something which someone self-reported as a reaction to the AstraZeneca vaccine. I’ve done my best to filter out anything which could even be tangentially related, which sadly means I cannot include the reported reaction of “pain during labour”
AstraZeneca knocked me up
“Excuse me? I have a vaccine reaction to report. I’m extremely disturbed by this”
“The vaccine did it! I swear!”
AstraZeneca made me Jewish
The vaccine did this to me
They’re putting chemicals in the vaccines that turn the friggin' frogs gay!
Isn’t that just a bad haircut
*looking down at the stick-and-poke cock and balls on my forearm* the vaccine did this
The worst side effect of all
“…I got better”
Factitious disorder is the updated name for Munchausen’s, whether imposed on self or a proxy
“I’m having the symptoms of the disorder where you lie about having symptoms”
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